do any of you find it difficult to get a really good relationship with your child? ive just had my son for the weekend and he wouldnt respect me, no matter wat i did i couldnt get any respect from him. do you have the same problems?
2006-09-16 23:29:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i havnt been with his mum for 2 years and ive had him every weekend since. but just recently he seems to be rebelling against me for some reason. this weekend it seems to be something his mum has said about me as he as told me this. hes 4 yrs old how can i get him to understand? i dont think i can
2006-09-17 04:23:34 · update #1
Was this the first time you have had him since the divorce or have you had him before?? How did he behavior for you when you were married?? Did you spend anytime with him before the divorce??
If this was the first time since the divorce I would say he was acting out because of his feelings of fear, abandonment, anger that you are all not a family anymore,perhaps he has listened to his mother crying over this and he is feeling her pain and acted out towards you, and remember to get respect you must first give respect, did you respect him during his visit, have you listened to how he feels about all this, have you tried talking to him and explaining why you and his mom are no longer together? Children are so often forgotten in these matters and then everyone expects them to act all prim and proper when its over...they have feelings and emotions too..Good luck to you and your son may you find a comman ground and build on your relationship, and a hug for your son it will get better.
2006-09-16 23:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by enoughmichele04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a number of things, how old is your child if heading towards teens then it is quite normal, attitude can be an absolute pain at this age. If your child is younger this could be down to feeling unsettled and frustrated because his parents are no longer living together and he needs reassurance that you will always be there for him and talk to him on the telephone whenever possible, another possibility is your relationship with your ex, if there is bitterness between you and this is apparent to your son, he will feel torn and it is so very important that neither of you say anything detrimental about the other to your son as he is bound to take sides and then emotionally torn between you.
I have been separated from my ex for 14 years and although I could have been terribly bitter I let my children go to their dads as often as he wanted them and so they continued to have stability in their lives they need both parents throughout their life.
2006-09-17 06:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time dont have him stay until he has some respect for you....my 22 yr old stayed with me for 6 weeks whilst he had split with his girlfriend, the time he spent with me was not good, he run up a £300.00 phone bill, ate me out of house and home, spent like 12 hours on the computer arranging meetings with girls he didnt know, would not clean after him, sometimes i had to force him to get a shower, would not get out fo bed for work, lost his job, because he was back home with me he thought that it would be the same before he left, now he is older, he can carry himself, i have done my child raising, now i have a life, i love my son but he has no clue about life, even tho i did educate him on the way, he seems to think that everyone has to do everything for him, he is a very selfish young man...it got to the stage where he would not go see his son unless i drove him there, the list is endless.. eventually i asked him to leave and patch things up with his girl...he still hasnt and is now sponging from other people and dossing at his friends house who has a wife and 2 kids, they are too polite to ask him to leave, more fool them....he will get in the way and cause problems for them, so they have to get him to wake up and smell the coffee, he has not even looked for a place of his own, he disrespects people alot and uses them...some people should just be firm and say no...if you do not respect me, then i will not respect you...son or not, if he is under your roof then he has to respect you....treat him like he treats you...he may mend his ways
2006-09-17 06:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a similar problem. i looked after my two girls single handed after their mother left us for a " new life". After 5 years she made contact with them and they started to stay with her for weekends. They became very disrespectful towards me, saying that mum lets us do this, watch that etc. I refused to give in to their demands and they now thank me for it. They realise that their mother let them do as they pleased because she wanted an easy life. Being a parent is tough sometimes but the rewards are beyond believing when they mature and see things for what they really are. My girls are now my best friends. Do they still see their mother? no. Hang in there.
2006-09-17 07:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by John B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not like that any child if they did not respect their parents they will realise this soon or later but they will defenitely realise .
2006-09-17 06:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by nambirad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm I'm not with out my kids and well they dont listen to me, to me it is disrespectful. i was with out my mum from when i was four and when i di see her i treated her the same has my dad, bless they did not what hit em
2006-09-17 09:14:52 · answer #6 · answered by loopy lass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't have a child. i m 2 small!!!
2006-09-17 06:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by kapoor's 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋