i like my dad but i feel like he doesnt care he hasnt been there for me im 14 my parents got divoreced six years ago but he doesnt really call and at the reunions he tries to act like he's a better parent than my mom im just thinking about cutting him off im sick of him just breaking my heart im tired so plz help me out and plz put down ur age
2006-09-16 23:25:16 · 7 answers · asked by curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Im sorry your going through such a rough time. I'm a mom I'm 42 years young. I have two children a daughter 18 and a son 5. My daughter was from a relationship long before I met and married my husband. She calls him dad because her own father was not in her life. She recently contacted him and they have been talking. My biggest fear was she would reach out and he would reject her. So far this hasn't happened though sometimes she would like this to move fater between them.
Even though your situation is diffrent it is sorta the same. I know your father doesn't live with you and maybe he can not be with you as much as you would like, maybe his job or where he lives, and I know it must hurt awful when your at the reunions and he sounds like hes trying to come off better then he is..before you cut him off please sit down with your mom and talk with her tell her how you feel and then talk to your dad the next time you see him let him know your feeling and listen to what answers he gives you. If he blows you off and says something like" don't be silly etc. then I would say at your age you can make up your mind if you want to stop seeing him, though you have to also know what the law is where you live,,make sure there is no court order saying he sees you that kind of thing..Again Im sorry you are going through this children should never be treated this way you didnt cause them to get married and have you and even if the marriage didnt last you are still apart of each of them shame on them..Good Luck
2006-09-16 23:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by enoughmichele04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a dad like your one, and I'm 39.
Parents divorced over 20 years ago and I've only seen my dad a few times since. He doesn't write, he doesn't call, he doesn't even send birthday or christmas cards -- but I do. I send him cards, letters, little presents-- just because he's my dad. I don't expect anything in return. And I would certainly never throw it back in his face. The man paid my way for 16 years and used to change my nappy so who am I to argue?
Most people in their teen years start letting go of their parents a little, it's natural. And you really start seeing your folks as the ordinary people they really are, with faults and shortcomings and all the rest of it. Teenagers are not in a position to criticise openly (that'd be disrespectful), but you're at an age when you can at least watch adults and think objectively "hmm that's not good behaviour, I would never do that" or "wow that guy is a fantastic granddad/boss/leader/etc". It's all part of becoming an adult yourself.
So although I would never ignore my daughter the way my father ignores me, I don't hold it against him, he's the dad and it's his call. He can't stop me sending him cards and notes, though -- and I know he appreciates them really! I prefer being on good terms with him nevertheless -- one day soon he won't be around any more, and I don't want to have any regretful memories.
My best advice would be not to make all sorts of noise at your dad. Cut him an infinite amount of slack. Who cares what he does or says in front of other rellies. If he's making an idiot out of himself that's his ordeal, it's not up to you to punish him for it. Take a broader view -- wouldn't it be nice if you were on good terms with him when you have kids of your own? Or when he's very old and appreciates you coming round for a cup of tea and a chat? Or maybe you have a difficult period in your own life later on -- wouldn't it be nice if he were there for you?
2006-09-17 07:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he's still you father, like they said. And don't let the one above me "quilt" you into anything. Being a 'father' is easy, being a 'dad' isn't.
Your father is putting on a show for the others while at the reunion. Maybe he feels guilty for not being there for you. Maybe he feels your mother has been putting him down for his inactivity in your life. Or there could a hundred other reason for his acting like this.
Pull him aside and talk to him. Tell him you don't appreciate his acting like that when in reality, he's rarely involved in your life. Tell him it upsets you when he plays this charade and you'd prefer that he stop it. Also inform him that the family already knows the extent of his involvement in your life and him trying to pretend otherwise is only making a fool of him in front of people.
Don't be mean about it. You can be emotional, but not mean.
And for your own sake, don't cut him out of your life. Ten years from now you'll be regretting it. In that time you could come to understand 'why' he acted like he did but the bridge will already be burned. At the same time, no one is saying you have to accept his actions and socialize with him. Limit your contact with him, but don't cut him out of your life totally.
Don't know why you'd want my age, and I'm not telling, (it's an 'older woman' thing), but I have a daughter that's 22 and I raised her as a single parent and she's fine.
2006-09-17 06:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has it accrued to you that your dad is taking a back seat so you can get on with your life with out confrontation between your mom and dad and yourself. You cant fault the guy for trying to hard at least he is trying I know he isn't there for you but I think he is giving you space so as not to interfere in your family life I take it you are in the custody of your mom , So he probably thinks that when he is near her he needs to try hard ,No one likes a try hard but like I said he tries . don't cut him off hes your dad and in his own way he loves his son .you will mature and so will he , be there fore him he needs his boy
I'm 44 a dad and I stuff up as well I hope my kids forgive me every time because I will always forgive them.
2006-09-17 06:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey dad is a dad; he is just sad that he can't have the pleasure of being with you always. Have a sitdown with him, and talk it out may be he loves and cares for you but is afraid that your mom might revolt when he shows it.
2006-09-17 06:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by Bacti 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Findout ur dad where n whatz his cell no n talk to him thro . n if he is also attached to u u can live happily with ur dad
2006-09-17 06:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by nambirad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what you do. remember that he is still your dad. and with out him you would have not be born,.
2006-09-17 06:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋