We have two young children ( 4 years and the other 6 mths) and live in a three-bed semi-detached so it's not easy for me on my own to keep on top of everything. I do all the cooking, cleaning and everything for the kids even though I work full time. I've twice threatened to leave him if he doesn't buck up but it hasn't worked. What do I do?
2006-09-16 23:14:12 · 15 answers · asked by sheila 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Has he ever done the housework before? Maybe he doesn't know where to start or what to do? Maybe you can write out a list of things you want him to do and tell him that if he doesn't do them, the housework will come to a standstill and you will be out the door. You've got to really take drastic measures if you want him to realise that you need his help. Does he work full time too? Tell him you might have to share the cost of a cleaner/nanny if he doesn't help.
2006-09-16 23:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to believe that in this day and age there are guys out there that carry on this draconian attitude that a woman is the house wife especially if she is working full time I would sit him down as that seems to be what he is good at and tell him that you are going to give up work so as to spend all your energy on your family it will mean that he will need to pick up a part time job after work to keep the bills in line but as he wants the house run by you and you alone the only other alternative is to get a house keeper in a couple of days a week because you are at the edge and you feel that a break down may be just around the corner and if that happens who will look out for him and the kids
2006-09-16 23:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sheila my heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation as you except I'm a stay at home mom and my husband is a truck driver in and out of jobs. I do all the laundry, cleaning, child chasing and most of the yard work, I take out the garbage at night so it wont stay in the house.
I am not sure how to get this man to do any work for you,however, I can tell you what I have come up with,sorta experiment in progress here. My husband has two places in our home that are his alone. One is his desk area, where his computer is and the other is a coffee table in front of his favorite couch. What Ive been doing to get through to him I mean business is this, ever time I pick something up that I know for a fact he had,used or dropped I place it in his area. Yup that's right I pile it up on around near his desk his table his couch. If he wants to use these items he has to clean it to get to it..at first he just moved it but the last few days I have seen him actually throwing things away and he even managed to put his dishes in the dishwasher..Good Luck and if you get any good answers let me know. A sister in mess too
2006-09-16 23:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by enoughmichele04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you, your partner sounds like a lazy toe rag, if it was me (I have had a similar experience) I would give up work as you already do a full time job at home - if he gets annoyed at having to earn the money tell him you are willing to go out to work if he supports you if he offers only a little support , only take on a little part time job, the more help he offers the more hours of work you can manage - what ever you do don't be a doormat, because believe me your kids will start treating you like one too.
2006-09-16 23:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by darkhorse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something about it now, my friend is in the same situation. I can seriously say that she has aged 10years and is mentally and physically exhausted. Her hubby does nothing, She is starting to resent him, which is really sad. But she is at her Witt's end to.
I suggested to her to get away for a few days and leave him and the kids to it, but she is scared of what she'll return to. I wish you Luck, remember your not a DOOR MAT
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO A LIFE AS MUCH AS HIM. BE STRONG
LIFE ISN'T A REHEARSAL, SO MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
2006-09-16 23:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by ruthiebeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously! Ask him to contribute towards getting a housekeeper in to do cleaning , ironing, washing ..say.. 3 days a week because it looks as though he is a dead lazy chauvinist. That should give you a little quality time to look after yourself because if you are not looked after none of the family can look after you. ok ..Just do that
2006-09-16 23:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are just plan lazy around the house. Don't threatened things your not will to follow through on because he won't take you seriously. I would hire someone in to help me. Hit him in the pocket it may wake him up.
2006-09-17 00:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Girl Honestly the More you Hollar at him and tell him to do it The Longer its going to take Im Living With My Boyfriend And If I tell him to take out the Trash He wont do it but if he just sees its Full he will take the Trash out Hope this Helps
2006-09-16 23:20:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call his bluff and go on strike (in more than one way! ). Look after yourself and the children and refuse to do anything for him until he shares the load.Have you thought of going part time at work? Might be the answer.
2006-09-17 00:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so unfair of him especially as you work full time! i have the same problem apart from i dont work full time...best thing to do is bring on the water works in front of him and tell him you cant go on anymore having to do everything and if he dont start helping out he will have to go! ..... i did this and it really does help, he actually helps out a bit now! i wish you luck.
2006-09-16 23:52:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋