Every time I say or do something which my boyfriend really doesn't approve on the least he really gets furious! And when I say furious, I mean HELL furious... The annoying part there is that he really becomes too paranoid afterwards. I tried talking to him about it. I even told him to take anger management, but instead he got mad at me.
How could I possibly tell him to be patient and avoid getting angry at the smallest things? Trust me, I really think he does need it, being the kind of person who always gets himself into trouble for being so impatient.
2006-09-16 22:21:21 · 23 answers · asked by cheff 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
He needs to get Anger managent. If he refuses ditch him.
2006-09-16 23:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by malcy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can"t deal with it. We can't change the temperament of another person. His temper is probably a learned thing by the example he had while growing up. Only he can change himself and get control of his temper. He needs to take some anger control classes. You are a victim of his abuse. I hope your not being physically abused but you are certainly being mentally abused. I suggest you get some counseling through your Domestic Violence Program in you city. The number to call is in the phone book. You need some one to talk to about the choices and resources that are available for you. Don't take any more chances. He will eventually hurt you bad. He will just get worse if he won't take Anger Management classes. One day he will end up being court order to take Anger Management.
2006-09-16 22:42:56 · answer #2 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs anger management etc. but whether he'll do it or not is not really the issue. Only he can decide to change. And you sticking around hoping he'll change won't do the trick.
If you have ever questioned whether or not he might hit you or injure you while he's mad...then get out!
If he is controlling, makes you believe it's his way or no way in any situation or puts you down and makes you feel bad in any way...get out!
You heart may be telling you that you love him and he needs you during this time etc. but if you ever fear for your safety or question his love for you then you need to think with your head and go with your gut instinct and remove yourself from this relationship.
He gets paranoid afterwards because he thinks you're going to leave him and I think he should feel that way. He should feel sorry and be apologetic when he treats you with disrespect. But, how many times should he get to say he's sorry?
You need to re-evaluate whether this relationship is a good thing or not and make the best decision knowing that you deserve respect and love from someone who doesn't yell all the time.
Just my honest opinion. Good luck! :)
2006-09-16 22:31:52 · answer #3 · answered by justjerra_2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very easy to write someone off when they are not everyones idea of perfect. I take my hat of to you for wanting to help, but there really is nothing you can do until he accepts himself he has anger issues. it really is that simple,. Right now its verbal, what happens if it gets physical. My advice is not to give up on him and try to get him the help he needs but, tell him you two will be apart until he accepts he needs help. tell him you cant live your life in fear of him and his reactions.You are willing to help him but he has to want to be helped. tell him your fears , tell him you are scared. If this does not work then you leave knowing you have done all you can to try to help.Good Luck. One last thing stay firm in every choice you make with him, if you back down once you have lost. Anger is a control issue, often arrising from a bad experience or childhood and sometimes I beleive generic. He has to be in control of him and not of other people which is what is happening now.
2006-09-16 22:34:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does NOT need anger management, he needs a psychatrist. Like other people said, you should leave this guy right now. He'll hurt you eventually, you just don't know when or how. He should be the one to deal with his emotional problems NOT you. You take care of yourself.
2006-09-16 23:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by CRT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless a person like that realizes that they have a problem, there is nothing anybody can do for them.
And if you stay with him, and put up with his behaviour, nothing will ever change. You have to face the fact that sooner rather than later you will be physically attacked as well.
Kick him out as fast as you can. May be that would help him to see that his behaviour is unacceptable even to a person who loves him.
2006-09-16 22:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by haggesitze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to decide on his own that he needs help to control the anger.
You need to decide whether you want to be with someone who will be angry over every little thing and take it out on you. Look at the big picture and decide if it is worth being with someone like this. You deserve to be treated better than this!
2006-09-16 23:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by hopebaymama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anger is a weakness in the human behavior that can be controlled.......psychologists know the techniques of controlling human behavior consult them they can help....anger may be coursed by a lot of thing taking place in your environment and maybe it`s stress and it doesn`t mean you are the one who make him furious or something .....talk to him some-more and don`t only talk but learn his behavior and found out what makes furious..
2006-09-16 22:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Fantasia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Therapy is urgent for him and for you to deal with this problem if you really loves him, but I agree with the second answer leave him, you do not need that kind of problem, and He will become worst with the years
2006-09-16 22:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by pelancha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. Fast. Unless you're the kind of person that enjoys being a welcome mat (where people wipe their dirty feet) or a punching bag. Because that's what will happen to you eventually, if you hang around. There's too many men out there, in the great wide world, to have to put up with this one LOSER.
2006-09-16 22:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by The Baron 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋