Is this cheating?

Question

I found out that my partner slept wth someone while we were on a break.
I feel betrayed, and very upset, however I want to try and make it work, because I love him...........Do I keep trying?

Answer 1

I can see you felt betrayed , probably because you didn't even think about dating someone else nor did you think of having sex with someone else, But you can't expect your partner to feel the same way. Men and women don't think the same way or feel the same way. I think if i were you, you need to think hard about if you can get over feeling betrayed and being upset, because it isn't fair to you or him if you can't let this go, if its going to eat at you and destroy your trust for him, you better just walk away, I hope the 2 of you can sit down and explain how you feel and how he feels with out there being anger and resentment getting in the way, I wish you and your partner the best of luck. sincerely, jamie

Answer 2

In my opinion, it depends on how long the break was and what terms you were on before you took this "break". Seriously. If you were apart for over 6 months, there's a LOT of room for temptation and lots of time to "forget" about the special relationship you two had. If you were only apart for a couple months or less... his heart should have still been with you.

When you decided to take the break... was it a decision you both came to? or Did one of you break up with the other, say good riddens and ended communication until you later decided to get back together?

Having sex with someone is nothing minor! If you're uncomfortable with the whole issue, it will be just as difficult to accept years later if you stay with him... and it might become an obstacle in your relationship (trust issues).

Consider all of the above, your heart, and your partner's intentions, then make a wise decision. Best wishes.

Answer 3

If you and your partner were on a break it cant be seen as cheating because you weren't together at the time. And although you feel betrayed he really didnt do anything wrong. And the fact that he told you shows that he wants to make it work wit out any secrets so i say since he was man enough to tell you then you should give him a chance

Answer 4

You may be able to forgive him but not forget. Forgetting is the hard part. Knowing you trusted him and thought he still loved you at the time while you were apart you would feel he betrayed you by sleeping with another will always be in the back of your mind wondering if he will do it while you are together. But you have to remember you were apart at the time. If you feel you can trust him then that's up to you.. Think it over strongly if your love for him is strong then maybe you can put your differences aside and work it out!

Answer 5

Unless you're married to him and were on a "separation", the fact that u two were on a break means he didn't cheat on u. Fair is fair. U weren't seeing each other then so why should u consider it cheating UNLESS u both had an agreement not to see anyone during your break. That would've been a different issue.

It is up to u if u think u can go on with him because once u decide to, u have to forgive what he's done and move on.

Answer 6

If the two of you were not involved or separated .. then I wouldn't consider it to be cheating. I am sure that this has deeply hurt you, but in order for the relationship to work you will need to move forward and on with this situation.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 7

Depends on what he says about it. And what was the premise of the break. If it was like get the F out 2 months ago and then you guys just decided to get back together like yesterday, then that's definitely not cheating. But if you said, I love you but I want some time apart. Then that is cheating if you guys were monogamous boyfriend girlfriend(not dating)

Answer 8

Hey, mine did that too. I look at it as cheating. I felt SO betrayed because i couldnt even believe who would think about being with another female, let alone go and sleep with one. im trying to put it in the back of my mind, because i DO love him. im trying you know, but i just cant forget that. i can forgive him, one day, but ill never forget it. so i guess you keep trying you know but things will never be the same. i dont think i would even try if we did not have a child together tho.

Answer 9

It depends, how long were you guys on a break before he slept with someone else? Why did you guys broke up? Who broke up with who? Who did he sleep with? If it only took a day or so then I would think that he had an intention to sleep with someone else even before you guys broke up, and if you guys broke up because of another girl then there are possibilities that he has a cheater potential, and if he broke up with you and then had sex with somebody, in my opinion, I wouldn't try it again cause he will do it again for sure. I hope that helps.

Answer 10

You can only make it work if you truly and in your heart forgive him. However, if it will help, he was NOT cheating if you and he were separated as you indicated by, "on a break." Don't look for dirt. Leave that alone and go on with your life. As long as he is faithful while he's with you and YOU are also faithful, that's all that you should be concerned with (not who he slept with before you met him, and he should not be concerned with who you slept with before you met him).