My in laws come over every weekend. They trash my home, disrespect my rules, and make funny faces at every meal I make. Last weekend I finally got mad and wouldn't speak to anyone, even my husband. My husband thinks the way the treat me is fine. For example, I have a new dog that I have been training to do basic sit, down, stay. Also because she is a labrador I don't allow her on the couch or allow her to be fed food from the table. I have repeatedly told my sister in law not to feed her, but I know she does behind my back. Every time she comes over and stays (the whole weekend by the way) my dog ends up getting diarrea the next day. Also I tell her not to let my dog jump up on the couch. The minute I leave a room I hear her coaxing my dog up on the couch and when I come back into the room she just laughs. She also overides me when I instruct my kids to do something. I am so frustrated and my husband won't back me up. I don't know what to do. I can't stand it any more!Help!
2006-09-16 21:03:54 · 27 answers · asked by Lynn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Insist your husband start backing you up, or leave and take the kids with you. If they insist on treating you like a doormat, you can either lie there and be walked all over, or you can stand your ground and retaliate. If you dont feel you can leave, give them all a talking to, about what sort of behaviour you expect from them when they are in your house. Put the dog in another room or outside so they cannot encourage it to be on the couch and eat from the table. And make it plain to them that if they overide you on the children it will be the last time they come to see them. Basically put on your very best ***** dress and poo boots and tell them what for!
2006-09-16 21:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know, this is a really crappy situation. I'd be pretty pissed off too. They are definitely running over you here., and it's really messed up that your husband isn't backing you up. I'd ban her from my house, and I don't think it's overreacting at all by doing that. And if it comes down to you and the hubby getting into it, and he wins the argument, then I'd take the kids and the dog, and go stay somewhere else on weekends, until she stops coming over for the entire weekend. It sounds like she's only there to make you mad, and maybe if you and the kids and the dog aren't there when she is, she'll have less fun and stop staying there. If your husband gripes about spending money to go, then put your foot down and make it happen. It's ridiculous that you're his wife and the person he sleeps with, wakes up with, and he won't even take your side against his sister. good luck
2006-09-17 04:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by t.larae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not overreacting.You are being treated badly and you need to tell your husband that no matter what it is going to stop so he can be prepared.I would say get ugly with them
but that never resolves a problem.Doing that would only make you feel worse.But you need to make the point in a firm way that you don't
appreciate the way they override everything you tell them not to do.And you feel that they are doing it deliberately just to be disrespectful
to you.Tell them you have rules and if they don't
know how to respect you and your home to leave and don't come back until they have learned to act like civilized adults.It is bad that
they would let the dog have table food and get on your furniture but it is heinous to get involved with your parenting and and try to teach your kids to disobey you.You need to say it and say it firm without cursing or acting rash.
Hope you get these people straight and your husband can accept that you deserve respect
and have the right to demand it even if it is his family.
2006-09-17 04:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your husband's family, not yours, right? Well, if he thinks that their behaviour is perfectly fine, then next time they come over, take your kids out somewhere and let him play host. They turn up their noses at your food? Let him cook for them! They override your instructions to your kids, thereby undermining your authority as their mother? Don't give them the opportunity to disrespect you like that in front of your kids by not being home when they visit. I'm betting you will only have to be absent a couple of times before your husband will wake up and ask you why. Then you tell him either he stands by you and insists that his wife is treated with respect by his family or he can continue to deal with their visits on his own.
2006-09-17 04:16:38 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being disrespected. Guys are a lot like little kids who don't understand stuff until you tell them and this includes your feelings.
if your in-laws are young (teenagers) then it must be very hard on you. Not to mention it, that is very rude. I think your husband might be taking your in - laws side. I've experienced my dad doing that all my life so I can understand your situation.
I think going outside for a walk with your labrador in the park would be sort of nice, at least you'd be able to stay away from your frustrations and stress.
your meals, they shouldn't do that. You can tell them to stop making funny faces and eat with manners and behave themselves.
according to me, it sounds like as if your in laws are kids, I can be wrong but I know little kids always make funny faces and do those kind of stuff. Again I can be wrong.
I just got an idea, you can tie a leash on your labrador and hold him/her or tie him/her somewhere where he/she wouldn't be able to escape while you do your chores meaning keeping him/her in front of you while you're busy doing what you have to do or you can put him/her in a seperate room where your sister-in-law won't be able to play with your labrador and you can lock him/her in a room and you can feed him/her when you want to and train him/her too or you can keep him/her outside while your in laws come over so that way your sister - in - law wouldn't over feed your labrador.
I hope this ease your frustration a little bit.
2006-09-17 04:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by haseen_gudiya 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, u are NOT overreacting. This is YOUR house too and if they want to be welcomed in the future, they should follow YOUR rules under your OWN roof...plain and simple. They are very disrespectful and I don't see why they find it so funny to piss u off unless their whole goal is to get a rise out of u.
I know they're your husband's family but he needs to realize that U are his family now and if he can't handle that, then he can forget inviting them over every weekend in the future.
If your husband won't stand up for u, stand up for yourself and let it be firmly known that u will no longer tolerate being disrespected in your own house.
2006-09-17 04:12:03 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heck no! You're not overeacting.. I say when they come over. You don't cook at all. Maybe put the dog in a kennel and ignore them and stay in your bedroom all day till they leave or take you and your kids out to have dinner or the park or somewhere and leave your husband alone with his family. If it's just the sister tell her, "hey ___ don't you have a home to go to?" Like jokingly if being blunt and rude is too much for you, or "Hey I know you like my home but I have a life to run here and you're kind of getting in the way here." Remember rude people only understand rude. No exceptions.
2006-09-17 04:20:28 · answer #7 · answered by Vee 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell your husband that they are not allowed over until they can act like adults. You can also if your husband wont step up, talk to your in-laws at the next family dinner, Tell them that you have had enough of their childish actions and that they are no longer welcome in your home. Or you can get even. You and your family go to your in-laws house and trash their house ,spill your red wine on the white sofa kind of thing. Pay back is a B****!!!
2006-09-17 04:13:48 · answer #8 · answered by carly f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is what you need to do change things up everyweekend one week go out for dinner the next week go to your in laws the to your house on other weekends but as they treat you at home or in public you do the same to them if they say anything just tell then with all do respect and tell them how you feel
2006-09-17 04:09:40 · answer #9 · answered by reddevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until she can respect your rules i would no longer allow her to stay at your house. Your sister in law should respect you enough to follow your rules and she should be grown up enough to know that its not ok to over ride u with the decisions towards your kids. You should really talk to your husband about how you feel but also remember that he might be feeling torn between you nd his family. This conflict must be hard for him coz his loyalties are divided
2006-09-17 04:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋