Why Do Some People think they're all that?

Question

When they're not... for instance some people think they're so good looking, young and wanted, yet they are seriously overweight, old and haven't had a date in 20 yrs. It's like they live on another planet. It doesn't appear to be low self-esteem, but they don't see themselves as others really see them. They are convinced that anyone that is the least bit smiling is "attracted to them." How do you deal with people like that who won't stop bragging about themselves?

Answer 1

Many people are deluded about themselves.

Others are insecure and do this to make up for their insecurity.

Answer 2

I think the more interesting question is why you would ever assume that you know what these people genuinely think of themselves. If you did actually know how these people felt, then, of course, you would not be asking this question, as you would already know the answer. Since you do not, consider that you may be mistaking perception for reality, a common occurrence/event/issue/problem that probably answers at least half of the questions on here...

Answer 3

If people are really bragging about themselves just overlook it. They have a problem (unless, of course, they're just talking about some nice things that happen and you're interpreting it as bragging when, in fact, maybe that's not what they intend to be doing).

If anyone thinks a little smiling means someone is attracted to them, then that, too, is something you just have to ignore. There are people, though, who do get smiled at more often than others do; and maybe because of that such people have their confidence built up. Sometimes, too, not matter what flaws someone has there's the chance that there's something about them that does make others attracted to them.

The person you describe as your example may have confidence because he/she is someone who judges himself and others by what they are on the inside. The person who knows he/she is kind, intelligent, honest, moral, unselfish, etc. etc. gains confidence from that. For every one who thinks the overweight, older person shouldn't have any confidence because of those relatively superficial characteristics doesn't realize that such a person may look at a young, thin, even attractive person who had a date last Friday night and wonder if that young person has yet figured out that people may not have their youth forever but if they have something nice and friendly and appealing about their personalities or minds they will never lose that, their confidence, or even their ability to attract a person who values those things.

The confidence some people have that you seem to resent may not be their thinking they are "all that". They may just have confidence because they know that they have a right to it because of who they are as people. They may, in their heads, not be the least bit happy with their weight; but unless and until they lose it they have to put it in the back of their heads as one of the things they secretly don't like about themselves. Many older people actually love their age because with age comes confidence. If someone has a history of accomplishments it helps build their confidence.

Don't forget too that just because you see someone as "horrible and undatable" not everyone else may see them that way. There may actually be people who see them in a much more favorable light. You have a right to your lack of admiration for such people, but not everyone thinks the same.

You need to worry less about who has confidence (whether or not its a level of confidence you believe they should have). Don't spend you brain-time thinking about someone who is overweight or old or, in your guess, hasn't dated in 20 years. They aren't going to crawl under the rock you appear to think they should, and they aren't going to just die and leave all the rules about who should be confident up to you. They may actually see exactly what other people see when they look in the mirror, but they may know, too, that slimness or being young or having a date recently have nothing to do with whether a person has a right to confidence or not in the "grand scheme" of what's truly admirable in life.

Having said all that, there are people who may have too much confidence (thin, fat, young, old, whatever..), but good luck to them. Its better that anyone have confidence than not having it, and if someone makes the "fatal mistake" of thinking a smile means someone is attracted to them, so what.

Just remember that you don't know what they see when they look in the mirror, what they really think about themselves, or even whether they actually do attract more people than someone would ever think an overweight, old, person could possibly attract.

You deal with "these people" (I have a feeling you're writing about one particular, overweight, 40-something, person who hasn't dated in 20 years) by considering the possiblity that in those 20 years of not dating they may actually have been accomplishing things that contributed to their confidence and then getting your mind back on the one person you should be thinking about - you.

Final note: Hard as it may be for some people to believe that an overweight, older, person could possible ever be "wanted", it does happen.

Answer 4

John Stossel!

Answer 5

Tell them "Wow. It's really amazing how much self confidence you have! A lot of people in your shoes would probably lack that! Maybe you could teach me that?"

Answer 6

Well, either it's a very inflated ego, denial, or they're very insecure. People are strange sometimes...and most likely if they act like that they just have a mental block that tells the that they're better or they're trying to hide their own insecurities.

Answer 7

ive dealt with these a few times. just pick out one of that persons features and start talking about it. "hey there fatso, i heard you got a shoe mirror so you could see your weener while wackin it"

Answer 8

Elmo all that. Elmo beautiful. Elmo smart. Elmo not fat. Elmo young. Elmo love you.
Elmo get tumb up. Elmo happy.

Answer 9

Its better than thinking you're nothing at all.

Answer 10

It's better than being all what.