Howcome some people don't have very many friends?

Question

My boyfriend seem to be true loner. I know many people out there claim to be a loner but party every weekend or so. My boyfriend doesn't really seems to have very many friend at all, hardly recieve any phone call, doesn't like to go out to place where lot of people are, and do pretty much everything by himself. He is a fun person to be around, he like to go out and do lot of outdoor things, travel, and other things but he always seem to do it by himself. I'm wondering why are some people like that?

Answer 1

we are loners like that.

Answer 2

I don't know. I'm 41 now, and I can't really say that I have any friends. My boyfriend and I are each other's best friend, and we are happy that way. We don't hate people, or anything, but are comfortable staying at home, just the two of us and our cat.

But, when I was in Jr. High and High School, it was all important to be "popular". I never quite made it in with the most popular of the popular, but I was (or I thought I was at the time) happy to at least be in with the kids that were at least considered cool. But, thinking back, I think that I was always relieved when I could go home, change out of my "cool" clothes and put on something comfortable and watch some show on TV that I loved, but would never in a million years admit at school that I watched it.

Funny, or in a lot of cases, not so funny, how kids are so pretentious. It is so much simpler to be yourself, and not worry about if someone sees you talking to a "geek", or walking alone, or whatever. Ya know?

Answer 3

Maybe he's been hurt/ neglected when he was young and has given up trying to connect with people...his behaviour sounds v similar to mine actually!! :P
One the surface i seem to be a very friendly person but i think i m actually v lonely n don't know how to make friends..and i really prefer to spend most of my time alone...whther shopping, going out or anything..
it's so hard to admit my need for other people and somehow that part of me has died....i have been reading some books on the subject and think that it's cos when i was young, my parents neglected me n taught me to never rely on anyone n that independence is the best thing in the world..
so here i m...extremely capable, resourceful n independent..(according to other people!! :P it's a double whammy actually ...cos everyone thinks that i m so 'strong', i dun need any help from them...so they tend to leave me alone) but without the ability to trust n rely on other people...

your boyfriend might find this book helpful...'safe people' by Henry Cloud and John Townsend...or perhaps u could read it first to get an insight how what makes him the way he is. :)
Hope this helps!

Answer 4

I think that some people just like being alone or just having a few good friends, i am that way too, i have two really good friends who i know are good people and i truly enjoy there company, i also have a girlfriend and shes the BEST friend i have, we do just about everything together. theres nothing worng with someone who likes to do stuff on there own. maybe he just chooses his friends carefully? its also possable that he doesnt know how fun he is to be around so he is sort of shy about making close friends, if you get used to being a loner its really hard to get into a habit of having a group of friends. if its something you wish he would change, like you want him to be more social you oughta ask him if he thinks people would think he was fun to be around see what he says and let him know that he is and maybe he will become more social.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

We tend to love life & all that is alive, yet, we have very little use for people to fill what others see as a "void" in our lives. We dance to the beat of a different drummer & don't need anyone to approve OR disapprove of our chosen way to live life. Many of us come from abusive backgrounds & are only children who never learned how to be around others. The energy from other people is sometimes too overwhelming for us to be around large crowds of people, because we can actually feel the fellings & emotions of other people & it makes us angry that other people can be so shallow. It is just so much easier to do things by yourself in your own way without having to deal with another persons wants, whines, & wishes! It is also easier to control your anger when you are the kind of person who doesn't handle outside stress very well. We either won't say no to others OR we will say no in a way that others see as "angry", when we aren't really angry, we just need more time to adjust to other peoples emotional levels & that usually just takes too much time for all parties involved, so we keep to ourselves cuz it is just so much easier that way!

Answer 7

Hey some of the coolest people are loners.But the reason he may not have any friends could be because he may not be able to trust people,
such as other guys.I've had some friends but I always felt as if they would talk bad about me to their other friends.I may have just been paranoid or I could have been right.Now I don't
really have any friends.Seems like after I moved
in with my boyfriend and after we had a baby I
just don't have the time.

Answer 8

Some people are more introverted naturally. Some people might be somewhat depressed and so isolate themselves. Some people could have phobias about being in public or other things like germs, or whatever and they don't wish to discuss them with anyone. Since he is your bf maybe you can find a tactful way to delve into this without offending him.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's an independent person. Most people need the security of having people around them. But your boyfriend seems very secure with himself. If he's fine with it..then great.

Answer 10

He's an introvert, which is actually normal. Extroverts tend to be people that need others around to keep them entertained, because they can't do it themselves and get bored easily...it's to do with some brain hormone imbalance.
So if he can keep himself entertained and doesn't rely on others he's actually the normal one believe it or not.
Extroverts tend to attract other extroverts too, but even though introverts won't have or need the desire to be center of attention, studies have actually shown that introverts tend to be smarter too.

Answer 11

Well everyone cant be the same can they. Maybe it was something in his upbrining. Some people just dont feel comfortable around a lot of so called freinds.