We can't seem to be able to stop this and it keps getting more and more serious...
2006-09-16 16:14:40 · 97 answers · asked by mchawk97 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why do u want to be with someone who took vows (holy and sacride vows of God)? He has promised to be devoted to one person till death do them part. Obviously, he doesn't care about her (or his family if he has one) if he's going with you. So haven't you wondered if he's not just using you to fill an empty void in his meaningless life? Also, have you not considered his wife's thoughts and emotions on this? Have you ever been betrayed by someone who was suppose to be your one and only FOREVER? I would leave him because for one he is married and for number 2 he's obviously not serios or commited to anything in his life and for reason 3 you don't want to be the other woman because now in some states if a married couple gets divorced and one spouse is having an affair, the person they are commiting adultry with can be SUED!!!!!!! so get out of this relationship before it becomes too serious. and your no more of a homewrecker than him so ignore everyone who says so....remember it takes TWO to tango......and GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-16 16:30:59 · answer #1 · answered by roxy_gal6920 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Basically, you have overstepped the boundary. You do not have the right to be involved until he has made a decission about his wife and his marriage. I am living a nightmare right now because my husband of 21 years is having an 'Emotional Affair" with a woman he talks to daily & sees some. There is so much lying and sneeking.
If she was a 'friend' she would be helping him by bowing out until this is a done deal. I resent that a woman would do this to another woman. We all know what the pain is like, right?
Get out of the picture for the time being. Don't inflict the pain this causes. If it is right for you and the married man, it will happen.
2006-09-16 17:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that how you get them is how you usually lose them. You are worth more than dating a married man. Think of how you would feel if you fell in love and married a man, only to find out that he was having an affair. You deserve more than what a man who is married to someone else can give you. Plus if it's that serious, tell him to handle the situation like a man a be upfront and end the marriage. If he is really all that serious about the relationship between you guys then he at least owes it to you and to her to be honest. Also, think about it like this, if he would do that to his wife, he'd do it to you too. RESPECT YOURSELF.
2006-09-16 16:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by ♥BlackGirlLost♥ 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You already know what you should do. Break it off. He's not going to leave his wife. All he's doing is having his cake and eating it too. I'm sure he seem like a good guy and everything but it's funny that all the good guys are married huh? That's how they are girl they treat the other woman good because he's not with you all the time and plus he's trying to keep you around also. So i say call it off, if he really want to be with you and love you, wait for him to DIVORCE his wife and then if you guys still want to be together then that's cool. But I bet you'll be with someone else by then and he want even be a thought to you.
2006-09-16 17:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by Good2Go 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You know he's married, so do the right thing and leave him alone! If he's that unhappy with his wife then he needs to get a divorce or get into counseling - not find a mistress on the side to have a relationship with.
Do yourself a big favor and end this now before YOU get hurt. You should know that in all reality he isn't going to leave his wife for you and you are going to be the one dealing with emotional issues because he is going to go home to his wife every time.
2006-09-16 16:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are being duped with the same lies men have used to sucker women since marriages began, don't feel too bad, you aren't the first one to fall for it and you won't be the last but here are the facts.
How can you really love him? You don't have a real life with him so how can you believe that you have real love with him? LOVE is a whole lot bigger than a couple of hours in bed every week. If he doesn't want your love what do you think he does want? SEX!!!
You are the person he comes to visit when he wants to get off, I'm sorry but of course he is sweet to you....it takes NO effort to be sweet to you the here and there that he steals an hour or two from his family to see you...it would be a whole different thing if you were with him all the time. The fact that he is with you is a huge sign that this is a man who is seriously lacking character, morals, self discipline, self control, and is immature and lacking in impulse control, not to mention that he is a liar and is not capable of loyalty...these are facts, he HAS to have these characteristics in order to be carrying on an affair with you while still actively relating to his wife.
Make yourself a list of the things you really want in a man...are any of those on it? You also MUST remember that if they will do it with you they WILL do it to you. Right now you are fun, you are 'dirty', you are breaking the rules, you are what he is getting away with, and thats what it is for him, if he wasn't getting away with it..if his wife knew and he had to argue with her to see you do you think he would still bother? (NOT) If you were to become the wife that would all change and you WOULD become the one he cheats on and even though you have given yourself permission to do it with him it wouldn't be ok when he was doing it to you, and that is why relationships that start in infidelity fail 98% of the time! The other 2% just figure they deserve to be cheated on.
Do you really think he married his wife and didn't claim to love her, doesn't still claim to love her..I mean really do you think she would be sticking around if he was telling her the same things he tells you about her? Don't you think he told her she was the ONE for him? Don't consider his words, consider his actions, he MARRIED her, he has told you straight up that he is not leaving her for you by simply not doing it yet...so what exactly are you waiting for? I know it seems unreasonable but if you were to talk to his wife you would learn who and what this man really is. This is character and behavior of patterns, it is WHO he is and thats all there is to it! Now what you have to do is think about who YOU want to be..is this it? Do you really want to be someone who is sleeping with someone elses husband? Do you want to settle for a man who isn't really yours? Wouldn't you rather have a man that comes home to you everyday and shares your life, not just your bed? Could you tell your mom about this and not be ashamed of who you are? Good luck to you.
2006-09-16 16:38:45 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know what to do or you wouldn't be asking this question.
There's a lot of excitement involved with guilt. But there's a high price to pay for that high. Are you willing to pay the price?
You deserve better and he doesn't deserve his wife or you either. Married people are HANDS OFF!!
Make that a FIRM BOUNDARY for you in this and future relationships.
2006-09-16 16:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys are probably made for each other because neither of you are any good!! I hope his wife finds out! What goes around comes around and I hope that when you get marry your husband cheats on you. What you are doing is going to come back and bite you in the a$$!!!!
2006-09-16 17:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by M & M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to insult you because I did the same thing once. I was convinced that he meant it when he said that he didn't want to be with his wife, that he wanted to be with me, and that he would leave her. I stayed with him for 6 months, and by that time I saw not only his true colors, but that what I was doing was wrong.
I think by your question you know it is wrong, just like I knew it was wrong, but when you feel like you really care for this person, and you think that his wife isn't doing right by him, it tends to overshadow everything else.
All I can say, is that you really should end it now, before things get anymore serious. If he really wants to be with you, then he will leave her.
2006-09-16 16:41:28 · answer #9 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Like they say,,,,,if he'll do it WITH you, he'll do it TO you. How will you ever have any trust in your relationship if he's cheating? This man is getting his cake and eating it too. He has the stability of a marriage and a dumb girl on the side who is willing to put out when he wants it. Hmmm. Think about that for a minute. Do you really want to be that girl? Have some self respect. And some respect for the sanctity of marriage.
2006-09-16 16:30:18 · answer #10 · answered by oneradnursey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What do u mean u can't stop? Think about if u were married and a homewrecker started sleeping with ur husband, this would hurt u. Well think about his poor wife at home not having a clue that she has lost her husband, would u want that to be u? Cuz if he is cheating on his wife u then what makes u think that he won't cheat on u with someone else?
2006-09-16 16:29:10 · answer #11 · answered by 2good4hem 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋