Divorce IS my only solution but...?

Question

My wife & I tied the knot 4 yrs ago.I'm 41 & she's 38.We do love each other but unfortunately I was not able to provide & give her the better & finer things in life.While I see many of my friends who holds well paid jobs,bringing their wives for hoildays,celebrating their anniversaries & buying presents for special occasions & bigger house.I only managed to get a stable job after my retrenchment last yr.I felt I was a total failure.After a serious soul searching on myself, I can only conclude that leaving her is the best thing. Perhaps she will find the other half with true & better qualities. The lesson that I have learnt is that NEVER commit yrself to yr other love one if you aren't financially secured.I've had worked hard too but life at tmes are never a bed of roses.
But how can I explain & tell, her about my decision ?

Thank you everyone for yr kind answers,replies.I thank all of u from the bottom of my heart.

Answer 1

Rise above the negative thought my brother! Money do not equate happy marriage! Look at the less fortunate or those lower income group, they are happy with their hand to mouth lifestyle. Your partner is not complaining or look you down, it's merely your own negativity.

Gift & present to your spouse need not be vauluable, a stalk of rose with a heart-warming card is priceless! Even a home cook meals in candle-light is memorable. Money is the root of all evil, it's not everything. Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.

Answer 2

Whoa!! You really need to stop being such a downer for one!! Maybe she doesn't want all of those fancy things! My ex thought that way. He could never understand that I enjoyed doing things that didn't cost anything!! Like a walk in the park, watching a sunset with my love, when the moon is full going into the yard and swim naked to cool off on a hot summer night! The best kind of flowers I ever got were wild flowers (free again!)!! These things show initiative, creativeness, and true love! I really think you're underestimating your wife. I don't think this is something that you should be deciding on your own. When you marry, the two of you become a partnership. In making decisions that concern your partner's life also, don't you think she'd like to have a say in what happens with her life? Get off your pity pot, buck up, and talk with your wife. Let her know this is how you're feeling. You might be surprised....she may not care that you can't afford fancy crap! Do you know that unconditional love is more priceless than anything you could ever buy her!! It is the most precious gift of all. Did you ever stop to think about that?

Answer 3

Does your wife show discontentment with you because you have been unable to provide these extras in life you her? If not then maybe you should rethink divorce. If you both love each other like you say you do, then those better and finer things don't matter. You married for better or for worse. If you think it is that big of a problem but you still want to be with her, you should explain how you feel and then give her the option. Tell her you want what's best for her. Since she hasn't left yet, she probably loves you for you and although those finer things are nice, love for you is much more.

Answer 4

I think you are wrong in deciding that leaving your wife is the best decision. You and your wife married each other out of love, not for money. And if you really love your wife, you'll find a way to be with her. If you work together, you can give both of yourselves a better life. Having your wife with you and on your side will help encourage you and motivate you to work harder to try to provide the finer things in life. I think that if you say all this to your wife, about wanting to leave her so she can have the better things in life, she'll only love you more and only want to stay with you even more.

It's "for better or for worse" "for richer or for poorer."

Answer 5

I think you are hurting yourself by putting money in the way. Just because your aren't able to provide for her they way a rich person would, does not mean you need to divorce or separate from her. Just remember you are not on the early to gain money you are here to make friends, love people and enjoy life. Money is MATERIAL so make sure that this situation does not take over your relationship with her. Yea it can be hard at times, but in the end it is all worth it because there is LOVE

Answer 6

If she cares more about money then YOU,..then SHE has problems. And YOU are better off without her. BUT........talk to her first.......ask her if she is truly unhappy with you and is she wishes for a divorce. She MAY not care about the "other wives"...........you may just see all that and feel that you are not as "good " as the other husbands..........but you ARE. If you are a hard worker and you love your wife and show caring and concern for her...then you are a good man and husband and you need to live YOUR life and NOT care about what other people have. Love is MUCH more important then presents and a big house.

Answer 7

Thats the easy way out isn't it.

Allot of men are in that position.

Your not alone.

Most men just give up and take the easy way out.

I can see you out all alone under a bridge if you throw in the towel. A woman is Gods gift to a man. If you cannot provide for her, that just means you are not trying hard enough!

It's easier to just give up. Iron sharpens iron and so does one man unto another. If your wife is requiring allot from you, that is makeing you stronger.

Hang in there. Most men feel the same way you do, however, we have to stick it out!

Answer 8

You remind me so much of myself. Let me tell you a bit of my situation and then I will answer your question. I met my wife 13 years ago. I am 12 years older than her- me being 48 and her 36. I bought my house just before we got married. My salary at the time was not enough to get a bond and we had to apply together. Once we got married she gave me pocket money because after paying the house etc i did not have any money left.

After my situation improved I tried to make up to her for the times she basically had to support me. Today we have a house two cars - both fully paid and a beautiful daughter of eight years old. I have never been and still am not a very socialable person. We spend all our time at home , with friends or just go for drives and stop somewhere for a ice cream etc. I often feel very guilty because we sit at home all the time but she married me like that and she has accepted me like that. Just yesterday I asked her if she would like to go somewhere to get out a bit. She asked me if I felt like it or if I wanted to go for them. I said I wanted them to get out a bit. Her reply to me was that she is quite happy staying at home . That is my story.

Now to get to your question. Has your wife at any time complained about your situation? If not then you should not have a problem. Speak to her and tell her how you feel. You do not need money if you have each other. Even if you go out for a drive just to get out it will make all the difference in the world.

Remember love conquers all. I sincerely hope that you will reconsider and make a succes of your marriage.

Good luck and God bless.

Feel free to contact me on [e-mail] if you feel like chatting.

Answer 9

I think if you love each other and have a good marriage all that fluff is meaningless anyway. I would rather be smiling and well loved in a shack with iced tea in the back yard for a holiday than crying and lonely in a mansion anyday!!

Answer 10

Did she marry you because of what you could give her or because she loved you. I just lost my wife of 12 years because her mother convinced her that I did not do enough for her and my kids and my pastor flat out asked me that question. We get so caught up in worldly things, so once again why did you too marry each other because, if it is because you love one another it should not matter what material things you can or cannot give only that you love each other