Why do I have trouble having strong attachments with people, even thoughs I love?

Question

Although I am willing to tell them my life story in a heart beat and fall in love with someone, I just can't let myself become strongly attached. I have adbandonment issues, like you didn't figure that out. I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused most of my life. I realize this all has to do with it, but I just can't get the deeper meanings and how to get passed them. Oh yeah, I'm bi-polar and usually remember to take my medicine. I'm married. My spouse loves my unconditionally and is very committed and attached to me. If I were to leave, it would devistate them. I have unconditional love for them as well, however, I would be able to move on much easier because I just can't get myself so strongly attached. THIS IS not fair and need to figure out how to fix this defect I have. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

You answered your own question, and seem to be doing what is needed to get better.

Answer 2

Well you've identified your problem. I would suggest counseling but I'm pretty sure that since you've been diagnosed as bi-polar that this is probably already being/been done.

Learning to trust is gonna be hard because of your past but I you could try to find support groups with people that have experienced the same trauma, as maybe that could even help you understand other sides to your pain that could give you insight to helping you deal with it. Honestly you should continue being yourself because that's all you know how to be. Nobody has the right to judge you because they don't know the emotional scars you carry.

I also would like to suggest some spiritual guidance if you believe in a higher power. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Mind if I copy-paste the answer?
Here are your answers:

"I am willing to tell them my life story in a heart beat and fall in love with someone"

"I have adbandonment issues"

"I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused most of my life"

"Oh yeah, I'm bi-polar"

Thanks for making this question very easy to answer.

Answer 4

I think you answered your on question. The one remaining is, how do you get beyond that feeling of abandonment, and form a lasting attachment?

It seems that you have had moderate success; you have made, and love your family; you just feel the tug to leave before any of them have a chance to leave on you.

Well, they're not, except for your husband. He may get very tired of putting up with your trying to drive him off just to see if he's for real.
You really need some counseling to go along with that medicine, hon.

Answer 5

Who do you think you are? I mean, ponder that question. We human beings often try to find answers outside from us, without trying to look first deep into ourselves. Remember that the best way to change or improve something about ourselves is to search inside out not outside in. I understand how you feel my friend, i too tend to maintain a lot of platonic love affair -- that is, we tend to be good companions to people, even love-like affair, but in the long run it is purely friendship. Give more time to knowing who you are, what you really want. If you have to retreat into a certain place all by yourself, DO IT !!! Because a man will always be unsure of other people, even all sorts of relationship, unless he establish and realize his own self. You don't have to live them all permanently, but you do have to find yourself on your own time. Life must go on, you better enjoy it while you still have it! Good luck my friend.

Answer 6

taking your meds very important, i have brother that was adopted and has bi-polar and he rebels on taking his meds major problem and hell no it's not fair you didn't do anything to cause this or make it happen to you, maybe some counseling would be good but always meds fair or not