I know a couple going through a rough time, 30 years into marriage because the wife has decided she lived her life for him, and she doesn't know who she is. He has apologized for his way of handling things countless times, but she still won't say she loves him, show him any affection, and continues to be angry. It took her 30 years to say "Enough." Does she have the right to hold it over his head? For how long?
(There is no infedlity, no abuse--just an example of domineering marries passive.)
2006-09-16 15:24:37 · 10 answers · asked by steelypen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
umm. is it worthy of a grudge, no. I don't think so. Some hurt feelings yes, some marriage counceling yes, but not a grudge. Thats no way to fix a problem She let it happen for 30 years, so I hate to say it, but it is not entirely his fault. I bet he did not even know that he did it. Grudges don't do anyone any good. If someone tried to kill you, I would say that's worthy of a grudge (even a 30 year one) but short of that, a day or two at most and then its forgiveness time.
2006-09-16 15:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by manderstwin1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a matter of give and take and after having 30 years invested with the same man it is time for counseling not divorce. They need to go back to why they got together in the first place and start again. Society today is to quick to throw things away being it a worn out cd or a marriage that needs repair and that is the biggest problem in our world today . She needs to forgive forget and start over with the man she fell in love with all those 30 yeaars ago GL2 A
2006-09-16 16:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by RITA R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she does have a right to say enough is enough, if she wants out , then be there for her , but you really don't know what goes on behind closed doors, you just know the basics, sometimes a women does give more than the man, and after 30 years of here honey heres your dinner , and your clothes are washed ,and the children are grown and out of the house, well she deserves to break away, she wants to live for herself now , I think that it is her right as a person, woman, and a mother to find herself....
2006-09-16 16:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by E.M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whilst my husband and that i argue, i'm continuously the peacemaker......he holds the grudge. unhappy, yet real. i'm a born peacemaker. I hate war of words of any form and do my suitable to evade it. I have no admire for a individual who says he/she loves somebody and than "punishes" the significant different because of the fact of a controversy. i individually attempt too difficult to place issues precise and finally end up getting very harm because of the fact I attempt too difficult. To me, it is particularly merciless to "punish" the only you're saying you like over a conflict of words. people who carry grudges are frequently administration freaks. they have the might desire to administration and manage and use merciless punishment techniques that harm the only that loves them, just to make that individual experience small and insignificant. I thank God that i'm the way that i'm. I even have continuously been a forgiving individual.....i wouldn't in any respect choose to hold somebody in bondage because of the fact of a controversy. And arguments are frequently over the stupidest issues. i'm in no way meek and a doormat......yet i will ask for forgiveness for some thing i did no longer do, just to maintain the peace.
2016-12-12 09:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have the right to hold this over his head, even for 30 seconds. She made the decision to have her life revolve around him, she decided to stop living for herself, he didn't do that. What right does she have to withhold herself from him for the last 30 years? None!!
She needs to get over herself, and get a life. Start living for yourself, girl, he can take care of himself now.
2006-09-16 15:29:09 · answer #5 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently she does. He is a fool to stick with her for this long, but then, it seems like he deserves her.
BTW, holding a grudge any longer than a minute is foolish.
2006-09-16 15:37:09 · answer #6 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's enjoying torturing him. That's all. Enough is really enough. She needs to get a life and learn to stop hen-pecking and annoying him... she's already annoying others around her.
2006-09-16 15:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she doesn't have the right if he made an attempt to work things out.
2006-09-16 16:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to divorce her. She's not happy with herself and will only make his life worse.
2006-09-16 15:31:59 · answer #9 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a matter of routine now.
2006-09-16 15:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋