Depression?

Question

I had my first miscarriage the last week of July this year.

I thought that I'd get over being sad and crying all the time, and I did after about 2 weeks. But then everytime I see a pregnant woman, a baby, or anything that has anything to do with babies, I cry. Commercials, anything.

Is this a problem? Do I need to go to therapy. I've never been "depressed", is this depression?

Will it go away?

Also, I want a baby. My pregnancy was unplanned, and I wasn't necessarily ready for it, but I accepted it and was happy and excited about it before the miscarriage. Now I have this strong feeling to get pregnant again, has this happened to anyone else? Is this normal?

Answer 1

well I didn't have a miscarrage but I was pregnant with twin boys and I went into labor and gave birth at 26 weeks the smaller twin died shortly after birth and our other twin was in the hospital for 8 months he had cronic lung disease from having undeveloped lungs and was ventallator dependent but they finnally sent him home at 8 months with 24 hour nursing and his body just gave up 10 days later and he passed away. We had a very difficult time coping and still do and it has been 4 years. I gained about 60 lbs and have not been able to lose the weight for the life of me which makes my depression alot worse, but I am now on zoloft and it seems to work really good if I don't take it for a couple weeks because I think I feel better than I am VERY emotional and get upset at everything so my advise would be to get some advise from the doctor I wouldn't try to deal with it on your own it is very difficult. I still have a really hard time when I see twins I always think why did it happen to me and why couldn't my twins be ok. and I have three children now and it is still really hard. after my twins passed away I wanted to get pregnant again I guess I thought it would fill that sadness. it took me a year and a half to get pregnant so I'm sure when it is time you will get pregnant just don't get too upset if it takes a while. I wish you the best of luck and if you need some more help you can e-mail me

Answer 2

Relax... thats a normal reaction to a miscarriage, even if you did not "want" a baby. You accepted it, and before reality set in, became excited about it. Once you got your mind wrapped around a baby, its a hard thing to let go of, even if it was unplanned. My advice to you is wait a little longer before you see a doctor about depression. You may be suffering from depression, but most people are capable of dealing with this pain and becoming "normal" again all by themselves. What you do need to address is why you were so excited about this baby in the first place. Before you try to fix the problem by trying to have another child, think about your situation, who your with, and the little tiny details about raising a child. Take a look at how expensive it is and why you weren't planning on having a child in the first place. Give it some time and keep your head up. Maybe this wasnt a good time in your life to have a child... that by no means you won't beable to have another. You will get the chance again and this time, you will be ready for it. Depression does go away, but not by itself, you have to move on. If you feel like hurting yourself in any way, go to a doctor. If not, wait a month or two and try to go back to a normal life... best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I think that some therapy might do you some good. We all get depressed once in awhile--life does that to us. You probably are in a mild to moderate period of depression, and one which is very understandable! I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must feel but I know how I'd feel if it were me. I think (and I'm no doctor so don't take my word on this) that you want to get pregnant now to sort of "make up for" the miscarriage, maybe to prove to yourself that you are truly capable of carrying a baby full term. While wanting a baby is totally normal and all children are blessings from the Lord, please don't be so hard on yourself. Your miscarriage happened for reasons unknown to you and the rest of us, but God knows why. You may never know. But you can't beat yourself up over it. You had no control over that. It's not your fault. It would be awesome if you DID get pregnant again and had a healthy, beautiful baby, but if you don't, that doesn't make you a bad person. God bless and I hope things get better soon. Please try to go to therapy--I've been thru therapy for various things (I too suffer from depression)--I think it would really help. It doesn't mean you're "crazy"--just normal!

Answer 4

Hi Nichole,
I'm very sorry with what happened. Do you have anybody to talk too?? You may need therapy, or you just may need someone close to talk to about it... husband, mother, sister, just someone who will listen and understand. Time is also something you will need, this isnt something that is easy to get over and you must allow yourself time and not be hard on yourself right now when you feel down and if you cry. I would just give it time. Therapy though is always a good option though so I would never talk that down.
Keep hanging in there Nichole, you will get more of a handle on things. Best of luck in the future :-)

Answer 5

This is to be expected. I went through it myself, and am still struggling with it. My child was unplanned, as well. I struggled for quite a while with wanting another, but am very busy with the four I already have, and it truly was not the best time. I don't think you need to be on antidepressants, but you should see a therapist. It is very helpful in working through your grief, and helping you to get to a rational point where you realize one baby does not replace another, and that it may not be the very best time for a pregnancy. At least it was that way in my own case. I remember how desperately I wanted to be pregnant again, but am now thankful I did not cave into temptation just to satisfy that urge. Of course, we already have several children. In your case, it may be different, but it is very important to heal emotionally before another pregnancy. Take care. I wish you only the best. This is a very difficult time.

Answer 6

That is normal. You should talk to a doctor about it. Maybe you need some anti depression meds. Many women experience that "empty" feeling after having a miscarriage. If you feel you are ready for a baby, and you have a significant other who is willing to be there by your side then i said go for it, try to have another baby and good luck with it!

Answer 7

I am very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. You should talk to your family doctor about antidepressants if you feel you may be depressed. BUT if you are trying to get pregnant, don't take antidepressants.

You may need to do like I have to do for my next pregnancy - I need to start on my prenatal vitamins and folic acid 30 days before I start having unprotected sex to help have a healthier pregnancy.

Things will get easier but they will never be the way they were before you got pregnant. I wish you the best!

Answer 8

That happened to my cousin she was real depressed we weren't even allowed to watch TV in front of her. A year later she got pregnant and had another miscarriage.this just recently happened to her since me and her sister are pregnant she hates being near us.

Answer 9

you should definatley see a therapist - werent you referred to one from the hospital?