Hes throughing up blood,and were thinkhe has acid reflucks,but he wont stop drinking.we have two small children.
2006-09-16 14:40:18 · 36 answers · asked by Angela J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
omg! yes You must leave. If not for you, do it for the kids. My dad is an alcholic and used to beat me when i was little. if you don't leave for yourself. leave for the kids. It will mess therm up if you keep them in a situation where he's a druggie and won't get help. Belive me, it messed me up. I'm 18 and throught my teen yrs, i did drugs wanted to kill myself....etc.... the core of my pain came from my dad. neways, don't let my story be ur kids story. Be strong! If he doesn't want to get help, then he obviously loves his drugs then his wife and 2 children. I know it's hard, but you have to walk away from this. If you'd like here's my email : thrashthemic@yahoo.com Aim: thrashthemic
yahoo im:itsafuzzyworldofpeace. conact me if u'd like to talk further! take care and make a good decision!
2006-09-16 14:49:40 · answer #1 · answered by thrashthemic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he won't get help, then you have to make a choice. Staying will only enable him to keep doing what he is doing. Leaving him will make him see that he is loosing his wife and children from drugs and alcohol. You CANNOT help someone who doesn't want to be helped. You CANNOT stop someone from drinking and using drugs, who does not want to stop. I know, I have been trying for 19 years with my oldest son. He has used people, lied, stolen, been to jail, been homeless, lost his license from DUI's. The list goes on. All of us have tried to help him. He doesn't think he has a problem. He also refuses to get help. He is now 32, homeless, jobless and STILL drinking his life away. We tried intervention as a last resort. No luck. :( I know how you are feeling. You love your husband and you want to do everything you can to help him. But until he wants help, there is nothing you can do for him at all. The best thing for you to do is to leave. Get your children out of that environment and hope, pray that he will finally get the help he needs. Your not responsible for his drinking and using. He is. So don't take blame for any of it. He made his choices. I wish you and your children the best.
2006-09-16 15:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first part of the question seams to be your answer already. If he is not wanting help, then you need to help yourself and your children. Hopefully you can get support from your parents/ a family member or even a friend till you are on your feet (they are shelters that will help if you are not near family or friends that can help-there is nother wrong with asking for help yourself). He is the only person that can ask for help for himself, not you for him. This is why you need to stand up to yourself at this point...yes yourself. You can't stand up to a person that is not there (by what I mean here is that he is self medicated on alcohol and drugs and is not of sound mind). Your children and you deserve better and you can make better if take that first step and get help for yourself. Your children don't know right from wrong, but you do, and asking this question here is telling you that it is getting worse. After doing so, he may realize that he does need help, but remember this, all drug user lie and till he can get help and show he can earn the trust of you and your children, you need to do the right thing here. I do not need to tell you to leave, you know that answer already.
As for the Blood crap...well the alcohol and drugs are getting to him. He is not eating right or not at all...he is on a self-distruction mode. Do not let this make you feel guilty for him, nor make you feel bad for him...he has done this to himself. Your body is a temple and if you can not repect yourself, how can you expect him to respect others around him.
2006-09-16 15:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me when I say that there can't be a real relationship when addiction is present. I know first hand because I am a recovering addict. If your husband is using drugs and drinking first of all he is not in full reality, along with addiction comes lies, manipulations,stipulations, and distrust. You should seriously consider leaving him if he will not get help. It's time to think of your children first, and then yourself. Having children grow up around a person with drug and alcohol issues can be damaging to them mentally, and sometimes physically. Please use common sense, you will find the answer in your heart as to what you should do. Good luck
2006-09-16 15:08:48 · answer #4 · answered by ndomnic05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds really scary. The answer is yes. You should leave him, but if you are asking us then I imagine you still love him. Nothing is harder then leaving a man you love, trust me I know. However, what you need to think about right now is your kids, they are absorbing everything that is going on and you don't want them to have to pay the consequences. Do you want your kids to be there when Daddy OD's or gets arrested? I doubt the answer is yes... Tell your husband that YOU will always be there for him but it isn't fair to the kids... Hopefully, he will figure his life out and you two can try again in the future.... Best of luck to you!
2006-09-16 14:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by summer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you aren't the one leaving... he already has.
Move in with a sister or other family member who is stable so your kids can be in a healthy life. Don't tell him you are going, just hire someone to move you and the kids out, then call him from a safe place. If he's on drugs, he's unpridictable.
Go to the public attorney and get the proper forms filed to protect your kids from him until he's clean, and DO NOT let him see them unsupervised until he's been clean at least a year and is truly sorry and repentant.
2006-09-16 14:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1-800-375-4577
Tell him that he is being a selfish bastard and that he is killing himself and leaving his children without a father. Tell him he needs to get into rehab right away or you are leaving and taking the children with you. Get help for yourself if he won't get help with his problems. Get out of there so that your children don't have to witness their father's downward spiral. It's so sad, but not your fault, and the children will be affected for life if they witness their father killing himself with drugs and alcohol.
Call the number above and see if they have any resources for you or call your local Alcoholics Anonymous and ask about an intervention.
Good luck and be strong for your children.
2006-09-16 15:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but ...this never gets better; it gets worse. The only way it gets better is if the person is willing to change; and really does something about it. So, since there is not much to look forward to in this situation, I'd seriously think about getting the heck out of there.
I have a few friends who have gone thru this; and it was pure misery, until they finally left. They all wish they had done it sooner.
2006-09-16 14:51:41 · answer #8 · answered by JoJoCieCie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he endangering your life or well-being? It is difficult to say without knowing more details. I view divorce as a last option for extreme circumstances. You must turn him in to the police or other such authority. Get out of the house. Do not abandon him in case your relationship goes to divorce. I know it sounds stupid, but if you abandon him it will look bad in a divorce case. You cannot support illegal activity or endanger your children. You do not have to divorce him, but that depends upon how things turn out. If he will not seek help, then his judgment is in question. You may be able to have him committed. Either way, he needs help. As his wife, you are part of him. That means that you too need help. Get help.
2006-09-16 14:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jack 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may sound horriblebut here goes....everyone needs help ...excepting it or not...you need to set him up...get him caught and put in jail...he will then be ordered to take classes and be good. He will die if you don't intervine....this is the papa to your children and you don't want them to be with out papa...right?
I had to do this to my sister...after a few rounds at county she got the help she needed. As long as he cna be found with drugs on him...or if he harrases you to the point of calling the police...they will make him get treated....just let them know everything...even the bar he goes to...good luck...it wont be easy ...btu keep your head up....
2006-09-16 14:49:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋