i dont know what to do?

Question

I met this girl in jr. high & we became best friends.We were practically like sisters.If someone knew me, then they knew her.We had so much fun together and had a TON of inside jokes. She usually always got the guy she wanted, but when i got a boyfriend, it was like she was sorta jealous or something.
Needless to say, freshman year, we grew apart. We were constantly geting into stupid arguments.We completely stopped talking. I soon found out she had said some really hurtfull things about me, and told secrets i trusted her with.
I found other friends, i absolutley love them to death, but it just doesnt feel the same.
Last night i went to a gatheringand her & my old friends were there. I waved and she waved back. About an hour later we were talking, just like old times, it was a bit akward though.
I would really love to be friends with her again, but my parents dont like her, and my new friends dislike her. I dont know what to do. What do you think I should do?


thanks

Answer 1

I honestly had almost the same problem but in my case I was the one with her secret. But I know that no matter how you feel about someone... you should never tell anyone their secrets. I believe that and I keep my promises. I was friends with her since the 7th grade. Both of us were new to that school so we became friends. We became best friends instantly and like you and your friend. Anyone who knew me...knew her. Towards the end of 8th grade... a new girl moved into town and I was beginning to be phased out. I knew exactly what was going on and I confronted them about it. They said that I was being paranoid and that I wasn't being phased out. I was always busy when they wanted to do something. This was completely FALSE. The school year ended and then the summer. We moved to high school and by that time we were completely cut-off from each other. We started high school and I joined clubs and had new friends and old friends from my previous schools since I moved across town. I was enjoying my high school life. Then at the end of our senior year... she begins to start talking to me. I am a very cautious person and knew that there wasn't something right about it. She started asking questions that I don't answer to random people (even old friends) like so you have a boyfriend, when did you lose your virginity, how many guys have you slept with, etc. That type of thing and a bell rang in my head saying that something is wrong and that she is up to something. I turned the questions around at her and instead of her getting answers I was the one getting the answers. I found out that she wanted to bad mouth me because I had moved on with my life and I was doing what I wanted to do from the beginning. She was jealous that her friend because of whom our friendship was ruined was the one who ruined her life by telling people her secret and I didn't. She was angry that because of that other friend she had started doing drugs. YOU KNOW... it is that entire girl thing. Well, we graduated and then 3 months ago I get an im from her saying that she had taken too many medications and wanted me to drive down to her place and take her to the hospital. I being a pre-med student decided that OKAY a person needs help so I should go and help her. I got there and she was sitting there (she was smoking weed) saying that she knew I would come and help her. She was angry with me because I was the one who put her in the place she was in. She wanted me to take the blame for her being on drugs. Which I wasn't going to. Her mom was friends/colleagues with my dad and I had her number so I called her. It turns out that her mom had thrown her out because of her behavior and I was told to leave and never see her again for my own good because she had a tendency of getting people in legal troubles. I left and the next day she was in jail for possession of drugs.

So the moral of the story is that you should be very careful with your ex-friends. I think that you should talk to her but you need to be on your toes at all times. Keep all of your senses open. Tell her that she is on thin ice and that she needs to earn your trust back and that the only way you can be friends is by trusting her. I am really serious about this. I know that friends are great but being happy with your self is greater by like 200%. Sometimes you need to trust your instincts more than you trust your friends. People are very fickle you never know what they are going to do. I think that you should follow what you believe is right but always be on your toes!!!

By the way even if you think that she is trust worthy... remember that she is a person who has multiple faces and you don't know what face she is putting on. My advice try and trust her but leave some space for suspision. I hope you understand. if not e-mail me. my e-mail address is the same as my screen name up here.

Answer 2

Take it slow-You just met again last night and although you say you'd like to be friends you gave no indication of her wanting to. Perhaps when you two get together you should talk about what went wrong and why-can't really be friends if these things remain there between you two. If you do decide to be friends it shouldn't be a matter of choice-her or your other friends-then think on who is the most valuable in your life-who do you feel the best with and who would make you feel sadder if they weren't in your life-I used that to make a similar decision-who would you miss the most for the longest. Perhaps you've both grown a little or she has. But if you see signs of the same jealousy then fade the relationship out. Perhaps it is till that you two grew while in the first frienship and were spending too much of your time together for in the growing up process we all eventually make the group of people we associate with larger and thats natural. So keep your friends but see her(only if you can forgive for other wise its no good) Life is short and friends are great but no person should upset your life too much all the time-those you don't need. Give it a chance see how it goes but if it doesn't life goes on and it will for both of you.

Answer 3

One thing you need to know...in ALL relationships you will have struggles, disagreements and falling outs. Look at marriage. The person that you love more than anyone and you probably have the deepest darkest moments with that person. The stronger the love, the deeper the hurt when you fall out. Therefore, you can't walk out on a friendship over one thing. You work thru it and make the relationship stronger for it. This is what makes a relationship grow to the next level and makes it even better than it was before. Do not listen to others. They do not know the in's and outs of your true relationship with this friend. Give her a call and work thru this. If we are blessed to have a handful of really good friends in our lives, then we are truly blessed!

Answer 4

I think it's the trust issues that UR family & friends have a problem with.
She will have 2 re-gain that trust from UR nearest & dearest.
UR friends may C her as a threat 2 UR friendship with them.

Arrange 2 meet this old friend once a week 4 a while & C how it goes.
Start/Jump straight back in2 each others pockets/lives 24/7 mayB 2 soon & might take U right back 2 Freshman Year.
Take it easy, let all get used 2 the idea.

Answer 5

Triple H, I find him a boring wrestler who needs to get out of the business, he doesnt have many moves either less than cena he only married stef for 12 titles, he needs to be a midcarder, he takes the title from more awesome wrestlers like edge or randy orton, he was better as a heel but i just dont like him all round as a heel or face, he is also rude to other wrestlers in the back and hates better wrestlers than him randy and edge, he loves vince and if he didnt do stef he would be a washed up nobody

Answer 6

well, most people don't change that sort of behavior. it's part of their personality. you should talk to her and keep her as just a friend not a best friend or a confidant. most friends who hurt you when you were younger will hurt you when you're older. i wouldn't give up too much information and don't give her the benefit of the doubt by trusting her again. go slowly with this revived friendship. she may grow jealous of your new friends or any new relationships you may have and she may try to sabotage them. get to know her again to find out if she is trustworthy. but, people usually don't change that much. be nice to her but keep her at a safe distance. good luck

Answer 7

I wouldn't trust her EVER again. Once she broke the bond of your trust and ruined your relationship by spilling her guts about your personal life, she pretty much told you how she feels about you. If you do become friends, don't let her in too close and don't tell her anything you wouldn't want everyone knowing. You wouldn't want history to repeat itself. They always say, "keep your friends close, your enemies closer"! You could always set her up by telling her something totally outrageous and see if she can keep her mouth shut. If you hear about it, then there you go.

Answer 8

A leopard doesn't change it's spots and neither do people who have hurt you in the past. Now that you have found new friends who you like and can trust stick with them.
Your friends and parents just may see something that you don't see - blind spot!

Answer 9

be friends again, but take it slow. Don't tell her all your secrets - maye even tell a secret just to see if it gets out. If she seems to have changedthen invite her over to talk with your parents - I mean so thay can see how she is. Your other friends have other friends, right? Why can't you?

Answer 10

Be friends but be cautious.

Let her know you are being cautious.

Let her know why.

See what she does.

If she hurts you, cut her loose. She is not worth it and is a painful person. A quality girl like you will find good and worthy friends who will nurture you and not hurt you.

Learn to seek those friends.

Learn to avoid painful waste of time people.

:)