We were together for a little over a year and he left me due to us bickering too much. I ended up being too clingy towards the end because I knew he was about to leave, and this just drove him further away. The problem is, I think about him everyday, A LOT. I haven't seen him or spoken to him in a year! I'm still sad about it to the point of crying on a daily basis. I don't know what to do to move on. I'm busy with my own life, but I can't get him out of my head. I haven't even been able to date anyone else. Any advice? This is consuming my mind/life and making me sick.
2006-09-16 13:52:08 · 20 answers · asked by chloekennedy7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
And the thing is that I have been incredibly busy this whole year - I'm in med school. I'm constantly busy and I live with family so I'm never alone. I always have things going on. That's why I don't understand why everytime I get in my car and drive or everytime I'm in the shower, (etc.) that's all I can think about.
2006-09-16 14:03:43 · update #1
And I think a big part of the damage is the fact that I'm only 21 and lost our baby the I was pregnant with. I feel I might be longing for what I almost had?
2006-09-16 14:10:38 · update #2
see a bereavement counsellor
2006-09-16 13:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear of your situation. Fortunately for me, all my exes were dorks, and I didn't have a problem forgetting them when they left.
You have 2 apparent problems here, hon. First, it wasn't a great relationship if you bickered constantly, and ended up being clingy and driving him away. I can understand mourning a great relationship, but not a consistently aggravating one.
Secondly, you've developed an obsession over him. He still consumes your thoughts and life, and by your own admission these thoughts are making you sick.
This may be due to many factors, and I'd strongly urge you to first see your family doctor to check your general health, which may be suffering, then to seek the services of a therapist, or even a self help group in your area if you lack insurance. You can google for women's resources in the area, or call your county health dept or even your local hospital for recommendations. Yahoo offers many relationships groups that you might try finding support in also.
I wish you the very best of luck. Please look for help now and stop hurting yourself over something that wasn't good to begin with. Hugs. :)
2006-09-16 14:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your same situation, crying, sad, unable to go on a day without having this sick feeling in my stomach from missing him soo much. How did I get over it? I just realized that I deserved better and had to move on for my well being. I have always felt I had so much love to give so I just had this need to find a guy looking for love and that deserved me. I forced myself to go out and met a guy that became my husband. I must confess I wasn't totally attracted to him at first, but the heart is weak, I felt he needed me and I ended up falling in love with him. At first you may be comparing him to the previous, but then surprisingly you will slowly notice that you will become more and more eager to hear from him an wait for his phone calls. Sometimes all we miss is the feeling of being in love than the person we loved.
We have been married 8 years now.
2006-09-16 14:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by silver wings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what can I say I am just getting over a relationship my self and I can not get over him. I was with him for over 5 yrs and we still talk and see each other and we tell each other we love each other but things are just awful between us. I am sure you are moving on with your life as you have just specified but you have to think of it this way, he most likely is with someone else and not thinking of you so that should give you the idea and inspiration of moving on. I know it is cruel but it is honesty. If I find my self in this position within a year and I can not get my ex out of my head I would want to seek therapist , not bc you are crazy but just to let the emotions out
2006-09-16 14:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow honey i was in you shoes just alittle over 2yrs ago but we were together for 4yrs until we separated honey it too me a while to get over the fact that there would never be a me and him i we found out that we were better off as good friends but now and then i still care for him it too alot for me to move on meet a great and fantastic man pulse lover who treated me dam good and was totally supportive of me when i felt down or needed to talk to someone about my break up i had to let my heart open up don't be afraid girl go don't pass up your mr.right cause he may have his new soul mate.if you ever need more advice or a new chat friend remember am here for you cause i once was you.www.neyosunbun@yahoo.com
2006-09-16 14:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by ebony 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, too, had a really hard time getting over a guy that left me. We'd been together for 3 years and when he left it felt like half of my being left with him. I cried almost every day for about a year and a half. It just takes time. Counseling might help you, too. It's just one of those things in life where you have to feel the pain to help you learn and grow. I wish it was easier. You may also get involved in group activities/leagues to help occupy your mind and time. Good luck to you, sweetie!
2006-09-16 13:56:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not yet come to the realization that you are capable of doing things on your own. You need to do things that prove that you can accomplish things. Doing so will make you feel good about yourself. Forget the whole dating scene for now. what you need to do is find out 'who you are', and just be, 'who you are'. The only way to truly find your soulmate is to know yourself. Your ex may be your soulmate, then again he may not. I can tell you that when you start just being yourself, and being happy with yourself then you will start to attract people who complement you, including your soulmate.
2006-09-16 15:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good dont date anyone else until you figured yourself out
you need to do somthing to get your mind off of him do somthing in your life instead of laying around thinking about him when your less thinking about him and you have your self straighting up you go look for someone better
All you need is time alot of people go through this YOUR NOT ALONE
2006-09-16 13:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by becca . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard when you love someone and they don't love you back the same way.
He's obviously moved on, it's been a year. You need to, too. As hard and awful as it is.
The one thing that will help is something I call "replacement feelings." Meet someone you really like, and you'll stop thinking about old whatshisname.
Easy to say, difficult to do. But do it, you must.
Good luck!
2006-09-16 14:03:18 · answer #9 · answered by MrPink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has been over a year and you still haven't been able to move on which means you need professional intervention. Find a good therapist/counselor to help you work through the issues.
2006-09-16 13:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by mad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stalk him.
j/k
You have to move on girl! You're just making it worse. He obviously wasn't the right guy for you. Start playing the field. Go out with girlfriends, call your mom and chat, play games online, join a club, join a gym. ANYTHING. You will get over him if you just try!
Good luck.
2006-09-16 13:54:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋