My mother keeps flirting with me like she wants sex. What should I do?

Question

I am 37 years old. She has been heavily flirting with me since I was 18. I have come to the conclusion that she has gone insane. My dad died when I was 13 and she was 49. She strangely never dated again. I am very angry with her because she acts so crazy and flirts with me like a woman in bar would and at every oppertunity. She did this to me all the way through college which I never completed and failed miserably at. I blame her for that. I was so distracted. I became discusted with females and that is a terrible thing for a college kid to miss out on. I am 37 year old virgin. Nobody believes me but its true. I went through hell because of that woman. I have siblings and tried to see what they say about it but they always deny knowing anything when the truth is it is just to big a problem for them so they deny it when ther own kids could be molested by her. It seems incest runs deep in my family. I always loved my mom, like any one. But my family is not perfect, but what can I do?

Answer 1

FIRST OF ALL, STOP BLAMING YOUR MOTHER FOR YOUR PERSONAL FAILURES. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE TO FAIL.

SECOND, DECIDE TO QUIT BEING A PROFESSIONAL VICTIM. YOU ARE BEING IGNORANT WHEN YOU HOLD SOMETHING AGAINST ALL WOMEN JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE YOUR MOM.

YOU NEED TO DROP OFF YOUR BAGGAGE. CARRYING IT AROUND IS LIKE PICKING UP POOP AND STICKING IT IN YOUR POCKET. IT STINKS AND PEOPLE DON'[T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH YOU. BAGGAGE CONTAMINATES ALL EXISTING AND FURUTE RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.

FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER FOR HER SHORTCOMINGS. SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T REALIZE HOW SHE HAS BEEN ACTING. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO FULFILL HER NEEDS. THAT IS A JOB FOR A MAN, ONE OF HER PEERS, NOT YOU.

YOU COULD SIMPLY TELL HER TO BACK OFF, FIND HER OWN MAN, THAT YOU ARE HER SON, AND YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE TO HER IN THE WAY SHE NEEDS SOMEONE TO BE. TELL HER SHE PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOU AND YOU WON'T TOLERATE IT ANY LONGER. THEN TELL HER YOU WILL CHARGE HER $5 FOR EVERY UNAPPROPRIATE, UNWANTED ADVANCES SHE MAKES WITH YOU.

SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP AND YOU, UNFORTUANTELY CANNOT HELP HER. SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO SOMEONE OBJECTIVE, THAT IS NOT EMOTIONALLY INVESTED WITH EITHER OF YOU.

YOU NEED TO CHOOSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL. DROP OFF THE BAGGAGE, CHOOSE TO BECOME A SURVIVOR IN SPITE OF YOUR MOM, MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF. MASTER SOME SKILLS. THAT BUILDS YOU UP. JOIN A GYM, EXERCISE HELPS YOU FEEL GOOD, AND TAKE A CLASS IN A MATRIAL ART, IT HELPS YOU FOCUS, GRASSHOPPER.

AS FAR AS THE WOMAN THING, QUIT HIDING YOUR PERSONALITY WITH YOUR ANXIETY. WOMEN WANT THE SAME THINGS YOU DO. THEY WANT TO BE LISTENED TO, IMPORTANT, ACCEPTED, VALIDATED, SAUGHT AFTER. ETC. GIVE TO THEM WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF. COMPLIMMENT THEM ON THINGS, ASK THEM WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT STUFF. BEING EXTROVERTED MEANS MAKING IT ALL ABOUT OTHERS, NOT YOURSELF. PUT OTHER PEOPLE AT EASE, BECAUSE 2 IN 5 PEOPLE HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY, AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE TO BE THEIR HERO. TRUST ME, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU AND YOU WIL LKE YOURSELF MORE. AND WHEN YOU LIKE YOURSELF MORE, OTHERS WILL, TOO.

SOME REALLY LUCKY WOMAN WILL REALIZE THAT SHE WILL BE YOUR FIRST, AND SHE WILL BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU DON'T HAVE DISEASES OR BAD HABITS IN BED, EITHER. SAME THING THERE.....MAKE IT ALL ABOUT "HOW CAN I PLEASE YOU..."

Answer 2

As we get older, no matter what way we are treated, we are old enough to make our own decisions. You cannot blame your mother for your actions. You have to distance yourself and make your own life.

I have had problems and I have overcome them. You can love your mother, but you can also stay away from her.

I had to distance myself from someone like that until I could deal with it. It was a very hard time in my life, but I overcame it and I am a better person.

Once you get some counseling, you will be better able to deal with it. It will not be a quick fix. It will take a while but you will be able to find a good woman who will accept you for who you are and you will have a good life together.

I will be praying for you.

Answer 3

Call a counselor and take your mom to a session. You can talk this out with her, ask her why she does this with a professional as a third party. Either she is really messed up and needs help or things are being very misinterpreted.

Answer 4

your a grown man and apparently on your own. you need to get as far away from this woman as possible. as far as the rest of your family they are in denial and will have to deal with this on there own. you cant save people who dont want to be saved but u can still salvage a life for yourself.

if u do know of any actual incest u need to notify the authorities. this might be the only way she could get the help she needs.

Answer 5

She's either so perverted she should be in prison, or something has snapped in her mind. That first response by "Pandora the cat" is absolutely unnecessary. She's a bad woman, get as far away from her as you possibly can. Your mother has ruined your life with this and I'm truly sorry. Get away from her.

Answer 6

Omg im so sorry that this has happened to you. You need to protect your nieces and nephews by rining up childrens services. Dont let them suffer their futures. r you need to move as far away from your mom as possible. Dont let her threaten you anymore. Of find yourself a nice girl that will accept you for you. Then your mom might back away.

Answer 7

Here's what you do. Log off your computer, call a psychiatrist. Don't ask us for help on this. You're obviously a screwed up dude and for good reason (if this is true). Call a mental health professional now!

Answer 8

its sounds like your mom has a bad promblem, she needs help. you need to stay away from her, thats sad but its not all women fault because of your mom, its time for you to start having a life, your missing out on alot, go get some help for your self you will star feeling better. my thoughts and prayers are with you

Answer 9

Go seek councleing . If at 37 you still have not resolved this problem seek some help.

Answer 10

tell her what u just said on here and get her some help thats sick thats your mom and its sad u a virgin still cuz u find women nasty cuz of your mom well all ihave to say is gt her some help fast !!!