I had an affair on my husband when we first got married about 6 months. Two guys sex just one time each. And about 2 years ago i kissed a coworker that i was around. My husband has been abusive the whole marraige, 7 1/2 years. But i thouht we could get over it with time but he said that he doesn't care anymore but i think that he may just be really hurt. he has not been abusive for the last two years. i am away from him and staying with friends what can i do to get him back?
Thanks
2006-09-16 13:26:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If the man is abusive, why would you want to go back? Stand up for yourself and realize you deserve better.
2006-09-16 13:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest word here is abusive. Why on earth would you want an abusive man back, hon? Could it be that he's not abusive because you are away from him? What will happen when you return? If he was abusive to you for 7 1/2 years, things aren't going to be better when you get back together. My advice is count it as a blessing losing him, and find someone to be with who won't abuse you.
2006-09-16 13:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to start from square 1 - and only if he is willing to try. You could try joint counseling, maybe after you get your own act together - maybe some individual counseling for yourself to find out why you are treating him so badly - cheating/lying. He could use some counseling for his abusive behavior - even if he has exhibited it directly to you lately, it doesn't mean it isn't waiting.
Bonnie Raitt does a song "I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't"
Maybe he is tired of the misery that you have caused in his life and just doesn't care to get another helping. You got some real serious growing up and soul searching to do on this.
If you spent years with an abuser - why do YOU want him back?
All in all, you are both messed up.
2006-09-16 13:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will u do the same things to ur hubby again or not? the answer is in you. If you still wanna hurt ur husband, so u have better let him go. Luv and marriage are not games,luv doesnt wanna hurt other person feeling and not for game. wont u be angry if ur hubby does the same like u do rite? dont hurt anyone if u dont wanna get hurt.
2006-09-16 13:33:28 · answer #4 · answered by purpleinluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want an abusive husband back? You actions would indicate you want something new. No woman should remain in or seek to return to someone who abuses her. Sounds like some counseling is in order.
2006-09-16 13:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by missourim43 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him. Tell him you love him. Sounds like you guys had lots of problems but I believe if both parties are willing to work at it then anything can be solved. I also think that anything can be forgiven also. My husband and I have been through loads of stuff together and through honest communication I truly believe it is all behind us. Good luck with your man and I hope it all works out for you.
2006-09-16 13:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by applecheeks 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gads dont take him back. there is someone out there for u who u wont cheat on in the first place. u are desperate to keep your husband and that dosent mean it s meant to be or love. if he was ever abusive u needed to get out seven years ago.
sometimes we keep something we think we are supposed to fight for no matter how bad it is. there is so much better out there for you and u wont ever feel the need to be lonely and hurt and run to someone else.
2006-09-16 13:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by psychpath64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you two shouldnt be together. One,well you did him wrong.. YOU CHEATED!!!!!!!!!!!! thats a big NO NO and then you KISSED someone else. He's worng to abuse you and you;re wrong cheating on him. It isnt love honey.. if you cheated on him. Both of you shouldnt continue to hurt one another. hopefully you learn form this. the situation can only be worst.... try to move on and try not to cheat
2006-09-16 13:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on... You don't need an abusive man. And if you REALLY truly loved him you wouldn't have cheated. Find a man you love, and one who won't hurt you. Physically or emotionally.
2006-09-16 14:13:26 · answer #9 · answered by sunkistheart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he and you are never going to forget....why would you make him keep reliving these horrible memories over and over again....an affair...maybe...but multiple partners....that's more than anyone could handle....the abuse is no excuse to what has happened...but if you want to live no being trusted, always reminded of your past...then try...other than that , start out new...keep your legs shut...and be a good girl....
2006-09-16 13:31:46 · answer #10 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋