i got married right after college, i am an engineer from india. now i am in USA with my husband on a dependant visa, so cannot work. my husband is a very complicated person. he is too conserned abt his parents,brother n friends. he wants to please everyone and expects me to sacrifice for them. he wants me to do all the work for them, act as per their taste and make them feel good but cares a damn abt me. he is so good to others that i cannot even complain anyone abt this, no one would beleive me. he has even hit me 4 times in this 1 year of marriage. i am taking all this coz i have no job here, i am worried abt my parents n sisters back in india, i am so sure if i tell them abt this my parents will surely support me, but i am not sure if i should do that.when he hits me he cries after that and pleads for sorry but seriiously i cannot take all this more. i am just 23 and i am facing all this becoz of him. he a coward, always thinking abt what other think . i cannot live with him anymore
2006-09-16 13:19:07 · 22 answers · asked by hello f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you get married simply so you could stay in the US? If so, then just hop the next plane back to India. Even if you didn't love him when you got married, that doesn't mean you have to put up with his abuse.
2006-09-16 13:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave him NOW!!!! His abuse will only get worse. In the end you could loose your life. Don't stay with him. Talk to a friend that will help you to get away from him and go back to India to your family. There are places in the US that will help you. Call and talk to them. They will help you. Don't take abuse from anyone!!! You DO NOT deserve to be hit by him. NO WAY, NO HOW. Do whatever you have to do to get away from him, please. Your right, he is a coward. Any man that beats a women is a COWARD!!! Don't believe his cries for being sorry and to forgive him after he hits you. It is only for the moment, until the NEXT time he hits you again. Again, make a plan and get out of there away from him.
2006-09-16 15:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will not get better. I recommend you return to India and with the help of your family start a new life without him. If you can, see if you can get a work-visa and get a job here, then move out and live away. He will not get better sweetheart. I am very sorry you had to find out now that you are married. It is best you leave before you have children! This will not be a good family to have a child in. He is too selfish, distant, aggressive and self-concerned.
2006-09-16 13:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by schnikey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave as soon as possible! There is no relationship here. It is just a marriage of convenience for him to use and abuse you. Get away before he does something worse to you! Go back home with your loving family because love is not suppose to hurt. I will pray that everything turns out well for you and have faith that it will. The main thing to do now is pack your bags and get on the plane to a better life and a better man in the future. Take care and I am sorry your marriage is a painful one.
2006-09-16 13:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get a work visa. That way you can stay in America and work. Don't take anymore abuse at his hand. Even if it means going back to India. If your parents will help you,let them. Next time he hits you call 911 and let them know. I don't know what the laws are in India,but in the U.S.A. people can not beat one other... He will go to jail. That's U.S. law. Maybe they can help you(Police). Don't be afraid of them, they do this type of thing a lot. I hope I helped.
2006-09-16 13:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a little money here and there from spending money for food, etc until you can fly back to India to your family. I know things are more in favor of the man there than they are here. Go to battered womens shelter here (look in phone book) and maybe someone can help change from dependent to work visa or help you get home. Call your family while he is at work and ask them to help. You do not have to live like this. Go to a church and ask for help.
2006-09-16 13:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not his whipping post. If he is physically abusive, you need to get away from him asap. Go back to India with your family for some much needed emotional support and never look back. The guy is an evil seed, a rotten bastard..rotten to the core.
2006-09-16 13:50:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him NOW. Pack your bags when he is at work and get the heck out while you still have your dignity and some shreds of self-worth. I have been married for 11 yrs and my husband would NEVER lay a hand on me no matter what.
You're well-educated and young. Go find yourself a real man.
2006-09-16 13:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You DO NOT deserve being hit..I went through an abusive first marriage and trust me when I say it will get worse..You need to get out it doesn't sound like he loves you ,,You should be his number 1 priority..not his family..I know he loves them but your his wife..but him hitting you , there's NO excuse for a man to hit a woman ever , that isn't a man, that'S a low life and you deserve better..Get out somehow..My ex cried after he hit me those are NOT tears of "I'm sorry" they are tears of a no good man..Good Luck to you and your in my prayers..
2006-09-16 13:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by Just Dreamin' 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I say just leave. Theres no reason for any of that abuse. I know it looks good all written out and its harder to do. Tell a friend, come up with a plan, hide some money and then get out.
2006-09-16 14:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋