I am 20, and my fiancee is 27. He has a group of friends that he has hung out with for years. Everytime I go to hang out with them they want to drink and go to bars and don't really talk to me so I end up feeling left out. My fiancee is good to me, but when we are around his friends he acts like I pretty much don't exsist and I do not understand this. I try to get along with his friends and make an effort and all they want to do is talk crap about me. They are all out at BW3's tonight....including my fiancee and I went there and they started to do the same thing so I left....am I in the wrong here??
2006-09-16 13:18:32 · 9 answers · asked by Tiffany 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, give him his time and space.
HOWEVER, once you get married, he should value you and your feelings, over EVERYTHING...do you hear me, EVERYTHING
Only you know what is good enough for you as far as how much time he spends with his friends, but if it is a problem for you, and you talk about it, and he doesnt respect how you feel, and it is still a problem for you, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!!!!!
He is not going to change after he gets married, so if this is a problem for you, DO NOT GET MARRIED....DO YOU HEAR ME?
2006-09-16 13:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand exactly where you're coming from. When I was 22, I met a guy who was 29. We dated for almost 2 years and he had really wild friends who liked to drink and party. At first I didn't mind because I did too, but by the time we'd been together for a while - his friends had become annoying. And they weren't the kind of friends he saw monthly - it was every week, a couple times a week. I'm not going to say it was the absolute reason I ended up breaking it off with him (he wanted to get married but I just wasn't ready yet), but his friends did play a big roll in deciding my future with him. Best of luck to you with your decision - just keep in mind that those longtime friends will always be around and you will always be dealing with them. For me, it was a dealbreaker. On the positive side, less then a year later I met my now husband - we went ring shopping after only a month of dating (I was 25 and he was 33). We've now been together for 3 years and we got married a year ago....so don't think this is your last chance for love. There are always possibilities and opportunities out there. :)
2006-09-16 15:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. You are "different" and need to find a man that is similar to you. He should have a small close friendship circle, with them he would not go drinking.... it sounds like you are not the party type, nor the drinking type. S you and him are incompatible. This is bound to continue and get worse for you if you do not realize this is a signal! A red flag for the future. If you get married, he will still have his friends, his drinking nights, his parties and he will continue ignoring you. Is this what you want?
Find someone more like you! Find him elsewhere...like at church, at the park walking his dog, at the bookstore leafing thru literature books, at the bank, in college....anywhere else ...he may appear "boring" at first, but once you see that he is stable and by your side, you will feel happy, secure and appreciated.
2006-09-16 13:25:23 · answer #3 · answered by schnikey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are all the others guys? Some guys just like "guy" type things occassionally. I was fortunate in that I was the only girl allowed out with the guys, none of the other girlfriends were allowed
2006-09-16 13:26:26 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I were kind of like this except she would never go...we were just different....now after 12 years we are apart and I am very upset, so I think you need to figure out if it is just them having fun or if you are two different people, because i would be afraid after you get married it would get worse and cause problems.
2006-09-16 13:31:50 · answer #5 · answered by jbrown280000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better get use to it. What you see is what you get. Please don't think he's going to change after you get married. I dated a guy just like that. He wanted to be w/the guys more than me. needless to say it did not work out. reevaluate what you really want in this marriage and weight it out. If that's the only problem than ok but if it comes along w/more problems I say think!!!
2006-09-16 14:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by yay29 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe the guy is not the one,if he doesn't care that his friends make fun of you
2006-09-16 13:23:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you.
2006-09-16 14:00:51 · answer #8 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being too needy
2006-09-16 13:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by Evil Homer 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋