Is it wrong that my parents don't like the idea of their 21y daughter staying the night at her fiance's house?

Question

My fiance complains that I am "still a child" since when I'm at his house late (after 2am or so), my parents call to see if I'm okay and when I'll be home. My parents are Christian, and though I'm 21, I live with them and they get worried.

They haven't actually said NO you cannot stay the night with him but since we only live 40 minutes apart, they do assume that I'll be home well before dawn. My fiance feels that this is putting a damper on our relationship because we've been together for 5 years and should be free now. In my opinion, that would be nice but I understand where my parents are coming from and I appreciate their concern. It's not like they try to control my life... they aren't that strict.

What do you think? Thanks in advance.

I'm in college right now by the way...so I'm away most of the time. They act this way when I come home for breaks and during the summer. Thanks for all the answers so far.

Answer 1

They are your parent's and they are Christian so no it's not wrong for them to be that way. You are their daughter, you live under their roof and should respect their rules - they aren't asking for much really, just that you come home at night. Tell your b/f to deal with it and drop the issue and by the way, his calling you a name like that is just trying to manipulate you to get what he wants and that is NOT ok!!!!! He should stop that stuff immediately.

Answer 2

I understand where you and your fiance are coming from I was in a similar situation not long ago. However I now have a child and understand how your parents feel as well. Its a hard thing for a parent to let there kids go and besides if your getting married then you will soon be living together and youll have the rest of your life with each other so Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

not at all deliver your infant right into a challenge you have faith ought to be risky. Our society is plenty too speedy to deliver our little ones into the care of relative strangers. Sleep-overs are a sparkling phenomenon. in hassle-free terms little ones did it in the past. And formerly that, no person might enable an single infant stay in one day with all people different than kin. you could invite your infant's friends over on your place and get to appreciate the youngsters and their families. Then, in case you think of you should make it easier to daughter have a sleepover, you will possibly need some records to circulate on. a infant can stay a protracted and happy life with out dozing in yet another homestead. the child will *****, yet that's the value a discern will pay.

Answer 4

Ha! Sounds familiar....I had the EXACT same problem when I was your age. I was finishing school and I had a fiancee. If he really loves you, he'll make it work. Yes, it does put a damper on your relationship. And YES you're parents are controlling, sorry mine were the same way, religious and Christian and that is their way to control you. As long as you live in their house, they will continue to view you as a child and unsuitable to make your own decisions. If it doesn't bother you, stay their....i don't know your reason for living with them, mine was due to college....maybe that's you too.....but honey you're 21 and its time to spread your wings and fly! You will feel so much better out on your own.

Answer 5

I think you should follow your parents advice. Being with someone 5 years at your age does not seem like a promising future. Then the type of relationship the 2 of you have should not be unless marriage is in view or perhaps you are married. Then again your parents are not being strict only looking out for your safety and future.

Answer 6

They are called House Rules.

When I visit my folks (I am 50 years old!) I still have to honor the rules that my parents have established. It is their right to do so. I don't swear in front of my Mom out of respect.

If I was living any where there would be agreed upon rules, for example loud noise.

I think you must honor your parents. That your fiance is whining kinda scares me. Something is wrong there. Until you are actually married you are bound to obey your parents. Once you are married you are bound to obey your husband.

Answer 7

I think your parents are right. If your fiance does not understand then he is the one with the problem. When he has a daughter who lives at home if he cares about her he will find his opinions have changed.

Answer 8

Well Hello J.D. I think your parents are right. You should listen to them while you are still engaged. Although your relationship lasted 5 years, you didn't get married yet, which means you are still your parents little girl in their eyes. I mean think about it. Will they tell you to come home early if you where married to this man?

As long as you are still not engaged to this man, you relationship with him is still vulnerable and your parents are the only people that cares about you absolutely with no return.

Answer 9

OMG Girl...........you're 21........you are supposed to be an adult. I don't blame your fiance for voicing his opinion. He's probably wondering if your parents will still be controlling your life after you two get married. Cut the apron strings!!!!

If you don't want your parents to worry.......just call them and say: "Don't worry about me, I'm staying at...... for the night and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Answer 10

Sounds like they are caring parents and that they are also "checking" up on you to make sure you don't do anything you'll regret - like maybe having pre-marital sex.
If you feel that them checking on you is a big deal then you need to talk to them about it. Let them know that you are an adult and that you can handle yourself, as well as the fact that you are abstinent (if that is an issue and/or is true).