I m 26 years old married man,going to be a DAD next month,I just need to know WHY I still fancy other women?

Question

Honestly I never cheated on my wife but it is purely becasue of lack of oppertunity. Does having one lover is really unnatural or somthing wrong with me? How can I stop having hard on for other women. Help Help

Answer 1

You're married, not dead. You can always look and think what if - as long as you don't get caught looking too long or hard. However, if you act upon it and take a lover, then you are putting everything at risk in your marriage. The trust will never be there the same way. If you don't love your wife and want to grow old with her, that is one thing. But if you just want to play around, think of all you might lose, including your child to be. Children need both parents and it's time for you to grow up and quit longing for the days of yore. (ok, long, just don't do it)

Answer 2

It may come as bad news but you'll probably always fancy other women. The time to worry is when that stops. The thing to concentrate on is not acting on that attraction, especially when the stress of new fatherhood and the deeply unattractive state women get into when they're exhausted and sleepless makes other women seem even more alluring. There seems to be some deep rooted mechanism with men which means that when they've got one woman pregnant it heightens their drive to go and repeat the process with another - when you're hot you're hot! Women are also in competition for fertile men and a man who's just proved his fertility is quite desirable so you may get more attention which makes the temptation even worse.

And ignore all the women who are about to slag you off on here. They will be judging you through a female lens and they simply don't understand what it's like. Hang on in there if you love her and want to be with your child, which I highly recommend because fatherhood is better than sex in the long run.

Answer 3

I think all guys look,just don't touch,you have a wife and baby coming,don't mess that up,it's not just about you any more,its a family that you would be hurting if you strayed away.Getting up every 2-4 hour with the baby at night might just help cut down on the hard on for the other women,want have time to think about it.

Answer 4

I don't think it'll ever be possible for you to stop 'fancing' other women, but if it's simply a lack of opportunity that's stopping you from considering having an affair I think you need to ask yourself some really hard questions.

I personally think that it's the seriousness of becoming a dad that's bringing this crisis to your attention now.

Do you really want to be a father? Have you considered that your state of mind and your perceived need for freedom could change when this wonderful thing, this child of yours comes into the world?

Answer 5

This is quite difficult because i cannot condone a married man,especially one who is going to have a child very soon, wanting to have sex with someone else, only not doing it because of lack of opportunity. However i also believe that men are designed to have sex with many women. Our society is not set up for what nature drives us to be. In this i am taking it as fact that you want to stay with your wife? The other stuff is just sex? It is not unnatural.

Answer 6

Well, if you recognize that you're that apt to stray, better make sure the opportunity never arises. Most men 'look' at other women, and married men do this as well. But once you are committed to your wife, and now to a child as well, looking is all you do. You're going to have to talk to John Henry down there, and tell him to forget about it. Because home is where the action is.

Answer 7

You need to think with the head on your head, why go and mess up a good thing, along with a baby coming, you need to start thinking smart. Do not go in the direction of another broken marriage, we have too many of them, so think before you act. You need to start to work on your mind. May be you have too much time on your hands, help out at home, more, do something nice for your wife.

Answer 8

there's nothing wrong with looking. your wife will do it too. the thing is not to act upon it. seriously, if you wake up one day and you're only attracted to your wife there's something wrong with you. men have a lot higher sex drive, due to hormones and the way we've evolved (originally it was the males job to mate with as many prospective females as possible).

if you really feel you're going to cheat then get out sooner rather than later; but take responsibility with the child. it's not fair on her. i've split up with girls for this reason, and they've always been okay with me admitting it

^^^that bit.ch up there is seriously deluding herself if she doesn't think her husband even occasionally looks at another woman

Answer 9

If you see another woman, just look away. Force yourself, you have to think about your wife and baby now, your wife and baby only.

Do things to make your sex life with your wife more fun, try new things, new places, buy her anything you find sexy.

How would you feel if she looked at other men? Think about how she would feel if she knew, how hurt she would be. Think about her and not yourself.

She is also a woman, and shes better than all the rest.

Answer 10

No, it's natural. Sheesh. Afterall, we are physical, sexual beings. However, acting like a single person and stepping the line to infidelity when youre married/committed...especially when youve got kids...is lacking in self discipline and respect for the marriage itself.
And only leads to problems. Knowing when a situation could possibly go awry and refraining from them is necessary to a successful marriage. ya know?