should i visit?

Question

my elderly neighbour's husband died last year ,he was a lovely friendly man and a great neighbour he would alway's come in and we would have long chat's and i miss him alot ,his wife is not as friendly, but i called in to see her about 5 times in as many month's, but she has never returned my visit's .her family are very good to her , and they visit daily , my husband said i should still visit , but i think when someone won 't return your visit , do they want you in the first place, we live next door , our other neighbour's would be a little bit further away,

Iwould be a good bit younger than my neighbour, I like the kind of person that would call for a chat and a cup of tea/coffee,(not gossip) I am of the old style and i look for that in people

she has alway's be nice to me when i would call

Answer 1

I say visit, if you are doing it out of the kindness of your heart. Don't expect her to reciprocate it. Just do it and spend some time with the lady. Remember, she isn't her husband, but he would appreciate it if you both really had a good relationship.

Answer 2

The lady could just be a bit shy and also some people prefer people coming to their homes to visit not visiting others..the next time you are there why dont you tell her that you would really like her to come to your home..also ask her if she is ok with you popping into her home she might just want left alone..maybe she is a bit jealous of you because your husband spent a lot of time at your house.

Answer 3

Please remember that it takes a long time to get over a bereavement.

You do not say how mobile your neighbour is. Could that be a problem.

Also, she may not wish to impose on you. She does not want to put you out. Next time you pop round, ask her to come to your house (and suggest a time, for example, next Thursday morning).

Answer 4

Of course you should. Some people are like that, they like when other people visit, but they never go and visit others themselves.

But whats she like when you visit? If you always feel like she really doesn't want you do then don't go, but otherwise do, it's good to go. Maybe visit but don't stay too long, just be there for her if she needs you.

Answer 5

yeah i,d still go round. maybe ur neighbour is just feeling down or possibly thinks that u want ur own space. she might just be finding it hard at the moment & probably appreciates ur visits. only because she never returns the favour doesn,t mean she doesn,t want u there.

Answer 6

unreturned visits means give her some space