I am a little scared but I was just wondering if there were any other people in my age group that feel this way and how they deal with it.
2006-09-16 11:15:55 · 20 answers · asked by Kay 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes I know that I am gay but I'm saying that I don't know how to deal with it or how my friends would feel if they knew.
2006-09-16 11:18:58 · update #1
I am very strong with my feelings and it hurts me to hide this from my friends....
2006-09-16 11:22:56 · update #2
And I feel really bad because I have not told my family yet but I don't know if they will except me because my father seems to have a problem with watching gay people on t.v. So I don't know what to do about him.....
2006-09-16 11:25:17 · update #3
If you yourself can accept it and deal with it in a mature manner, then I congratulate you ^_^. It's nothing to be scared of, and it's nothing to hate yourself for. . .it's just how you are. Just because you feel a certain way that doesn't fit in with the rest of societies' beliefs, it doesn't make it wrong.
I realized that I was attracted to both women AND men when I was halfway through my grade 9 year. . .and at first, I felt really awkward about it. I mean, being in a changeroom for gym class was REALLY uncomfortable for me, so I would always change in a bathroom stall. After a while, though, I learned that it was who I was, and that I didn't want to change myself to fit society's image of an acceptable person. When I felt truly confident about myself, I told my closest friends, and they understood me and accepted the fact that I was bisexual. Once I knew that they were okay with it, I stopped worrying about them rejecting me because of what I felt.
Being scared is usually a primary reaction to finding out something new about yourself. . .it's like "Oh my gosh, I'm thinking things and doing things I never thought or did before, omg, what am I going to do? Am I weird?" First, don't worry. There are a lot of people who are going through and who have gone through that stage in their life where they don't know what's going on. What you need to do is sit down and think about it, and identify your feelings towards yourself, and try to figure out how you can become comfortable with this situation. Talking to someone whom you love and respect, and who you know is open-minded, can help a lot. If you have a friend who you know won't freak out about it, and who will listen to you no matter what, you can also tell them if you feel comfortable with it. If you prefer to keep this to yourself, I can understand that, but sometimes it helps to know that someone else supports you and the way you are.
Different people deal with this in different ways. It all depends on what you feel okay about doing, whether it's talking to someone first and telling them about it, or thinking about it and becoming comfortable with it yourself first. ^_^ I support you, and I know that there are many people out there who will support you as well. You're not weird, you're not "gross", you're you. . .and that's the best thing you can be.
2006-09-16 11:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by jilligrasshopper 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First you need to find someone in your life,(not on the Internet) how can support you as you try to figure this out, I would suggest a teacher you like or and older family member. That said, being 13 and having already started puberty, it is perfectly normal to have feelings like this. But it is important to know many people are far from sure of their sexuality until they are into their twenties and some until long after that. Feeling attracted to girls now dose not mean you wont feel attracted to guys latter. Hopefully you family will support you as you answer this and ever other question that defines who you are as an adult. As far as your friends, most people your age have not emotionally mature enough to properly understanding sexuality, so again you should look for an older peer, family member, or teacher for guidance. As far as acting on these feelings remember that you are still 13 and too young for anything sexual with a girl or a boy, but going out and having fun with a girl who you like and who likes you (and is similar age and maturity) would be perfectly alright and a good way to figure out what your really feeling. Stay safe and have fun, but don't set anything in stone for another ten years, at least.
2006-09-16 11:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by Aaron S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you're looking for people your age but I was once your age and had the same feelings earlier than 13. You have a long time to sort things out. You don't have to fit in a box or try to classify yourself right now. Just be happy for who you are. My dad had the same comments about gays on tv. It really tore me apart at the time so I know what you're feeling. My advice is to put your heart into school so you can get a good job and become independent and productive. You are who you are. Your heart wants what your heart wants. You don't have to decide right now. Keep an open mind knowing that you're going to grow up into an adult who can do and make decisions on your own. I know you want answers right now but really you have a lot of time. Don't rush yourself. Read up on what interests you and keep your grades up.
2006-09-16 11:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by keithwells 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very careful with your friends. It's hard to tell how they will react. I know their responses can be very different depending on what kind of clique you're in.
Do you really need to tell anyone right now? Are you looking for a confidant? If I were to tell anyone, I'd go for someone you trust unconditionally. I wouldn't suddenly come out of the closet to everyone. You can worry about that when you're an adult (18+).
2006-09-16 11:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by BiBJ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes there are ppl your age who are gay... most aren't very open about it though... i won't baby talk you and say its a natural part of growing up cuz that wont help you... try go find a support group in near you house..it'll help reassure you give you some confidence..and you'll make new friends who are dealing with the same thing you are
2006-09-16 11:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way too. I'm scared. I don't know if I'm a lesbian, bi, or straight. I kissed this girl and after that I started to fantasize about girls more often. And I find myself attracted to girls just as much as boys. I can't really talk to my friends and family about it because they are really homophobic.
2006-09-16 12:15:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
13 is when it all starts ..trust me keep your mouth shut and waite till college to tell any one..people suck ..they really do..its the reason I dont think there is a god..people with out cast you in a heart beat..I knew I was into guy at 13 ...just deal as best as you can..of course you scared your alone in this thing..I didnt have a internet in my youth to ask questions..take care..life will get better..
2006-09-16 11:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by Kingofreportedabuse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friends are really who they say there are they would take you for who you were and if your family really loved you they would have no problem with you being gay cuz im gay and mines didnt have any prolbems well it took them awhile to get use to it
2006-09-16 11:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shanice, that's such a personal question I think you need to talk to someone you trust in person. This is a crazy public forum and you might get some wierd or bad answers from people you don't know. There is nothing wrong with having questions about your sexuality, but always treat that with care and respect. Thanks!
2006-09-16 11:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by Isis 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Dont deny your feelings. Go with them. Explore and experiment, only then can you make a qualified decision about your own sexuality. Remember that there is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual.
2006-09-16 11:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋