Husband has gone off sex?

Question

I have been married nearly 8 years and we have 2 children. We get on so well, and are like best friends. The only problem is, we don't have sex any more. He claims it is down to stress and depression. (We have had a lot of stress in recent years - disabled son, my own chronic illness, and a car accident). I have been depressed, but have got over it and feel better. I don't have a huge sex drive myself, and can live without it, but I would like a bit more intimacy from him, and it makes me feel rejected knowing he doesn't want to have sex with me.

Answer 1

Man is frail. It is very easy to make a man a superman of go off of it all together. The woman controls this. with the exception of outside stress. Money problems or any fear can do this.

Sometimes , when a man loses hope that his wife will change. Too much rejection can end this way or silent sex.

Sometimes the woman doesn't participate.

Once you have lost it , it's hell to get it started again, but not impossible.

If you really want it back, you have to step out of character and wake up suddenly tell your husband you had an erotic dream about him (This is important) It can never be that you're horney or want sex or intimacy, It's got to be him.

In your dream , he was doing things to you and you were doing things to him.

Ask him to hold hold you. Intimacy must first be without sex.

Since your sex drive is low and this is your problem, It becomes his problem and his fault. There are many things you can do , these things takes an effort on your part. He is broken, Words alone can break a man.

There are places on the net you can get help. You have to zero in on the problem. My guess would have to be your low drive. (Sorry)

Answer 2

Been there, done that, and miraculously, found a solution.

Talk and make a conscious effort to have sex more frequently. Set days and times if you must, but DO IT. Sex is an important part of intimacy and love within a relationship between two people and when you stop having sex, everything else seems to go downhill. Even if you don't feel that you necessarily want it, do it anyway. You'd be surprised how much your libido picks up and that in itself will pick his up.

One more thing, if you are on the Pill that can negatively effect your libido. Looking into different birth control options can truly be a saving grace. Best of luck.

Answer 3

I don't think you should feel rejected although I can understand why you would feel that way.Depression is an awful thing to come out of.(I've been there and in this position) Since your sex drive isn't up to what it was maybe you could talk to your husband and tell him that and you just want to be close to him.(Cuddle. hold hands, lie beside one another while watching T.V. etc.) Maybe this will take some off the pressure off him for awhile. It may bring your intimacy a little closer.
Maybe your husband needs a professional to talk to .That is if he would agree to that.Meanwhile try to be patient because you do sound like a loving couple.
All the best.

Answer 4

I’d suggest professional help – starting with a checkup at the doctor to eliminate physical problems & then a psychologist or counselor/family therapist.

Please realized that given all the issues you & your husband have faced this is not unusual & it’s little wonder that your husband is dealing with this type of sexual problem. Nor is it surprising that you need some professional help.

Good luck & please spend the time & money needed to work this out.

Answer 5

You must talk to each other and get to the root of the problem. You both are obviously going through a difficult time. Get professional help if you have to.

Answer 6

Get you a man on the side hon! If only to relieve the stress!

Answer 7

Christ sounds like a new episode of Jerry springer

Answer 8

tell him it will help get rid of stress. lower testosterone levels, less stress

Answer 9

well, talk to him, or go to a shrink see about the depression problem.

Answer 10

foreplay goes both ways.