Everyone is afraid of my dad?

Question

My relatives on both sides. My closet family.

I don't want my younger siblings to suffer as I have. My dad is emotionally/verbal abusive and sometimes physical. My mom won't divorce him... she is in denial. I don’t know what to do. He has been this way since I was little, to everyone. Now I want to somehow help them. But I don’t know how. My mom’s way of dealing with it is to pretend everything is alright and keep her head down and tells everyone to do so as well. I still live at home and I will leave in about a year. I don’t want to worry about their safety mentally or physically when I leave.

Any advice on what I could do? I tried confronting both of them… but it doesn’t work.

Plus how do you add extra details to your questions?

Answer 1

If you, yourself, contact a child abuse center, something will be done. They will take you and your siblings out of that home, because they will believe you. If someone else calls, they will have to investigate.. It will be scary at first as everything seems to go crazy, but in the long run, it will help everyone, especially your younger siblings.

I know of a family that had a lot of abuse going on. YOu never saw any bruises, but there was other stuff going on. The child protective people came in and the father ran off. The kids were able to live without their abusive father in their lives. At first the siblings and other family members were mad at the oldest sister for "talking." She never contacted the child protective people herself. She told someone about it who did.

If you can't do it now, then maybe it will be easier to do after you leave.

Answer 2

I know this answer will not give you immediate help, but go you sound like a compassionate, ambitious person. Go ahead and make a success of your life in spite of your dad. Your siblings can come to you for help as you will be better equipped to handle their problems after you move out. Also they will see that someone can be happy and successful without having to resort to being a bully (which is exactly what your dad is).

As you have seen confronting your parents will be of no help. Your mother will have to come to her own conclusion and your dad doesn't want to change. Why should he? He is getting his own way now.

Good luck to you. I only had to go through verbal abuse and have fought the tendency to be verbally abusive myself for years.

Answer 3

You add extra details with the plus key at the bottom of your question.

About your question, call children's services. I feel this is the only way to get things out in the open where they need to be. No one should have to live like this. I've been there and its not good. I divorced my ex - but the damage was already done. My present husband is verbally abusive and I plan to get out of this one too. Reading your question only fueled my fire. I have a daughter that probably feels similar to you. Thanks.

Answer 4

Your situation is very serious. But speaking up is ALWAYS the right thing to do. I believe that Child Protective Services in your area would intervene very quickly based on the facts. Be SURE your facts are clear, and be ready for the actions they will take. If you're underage they will....(based on the facts) either remove your father from the house legally or remove you and your siblings (if) your mother is not protecting/supporting you. Be careful. E-mail me or send a chat msg and I would be glad to help more.

Answer 5

Contact the authorities...

You mother is an enabler... She will not stop the abuse...

While everyone seems to be afraid of your father I will guarentee the authorities will not be...

While I commend you for caring about the welfare of your siblings you are too young to have had to take on this responsibility... You need help that only the proper authorities are able to give you as you family seems unable unwilling to defy your father...

Talk to your guidance counselor at school tell him/her your story they have been trained and will help you contact the proper authorities and get the help you need...

I urge you to act now before it goes any further...

Answer 6

I think the only real thing you can do is report him to your local child protection. It is a hard thing to do and will cause a lot of hardship, but if you are truly worried about their safety, I don't see how you could not do it.
Good luck...

To add more info, there should be something to click on under you question when you view it.

Answer 7

Once you leave, let it be known that if he harms your siblings, you will not hesitate to call the police. Other may be afraid of him but that doesn't mean you have to follow in their footsteps. Make your stand and let nothing stop you from standing up. No matter what your parents do, they will know that's one strong willed kid they have and that you don't mess around when it comes to your siblings.

Answer 8

Thats happen alot in the world and they do think there is nothing wrong with it. If they will not listen then there is not much you can do but keep trying to talk to them and maybe suggest dsome councelling. Suggest your sibling get councelling and if neded have it identified at shcool by counclers and go further if its validated. If there is not violence or injuries, not much else you can do. :(

Answer 9

First of all, I admire you for wanting to protect your siblings. As far as your concerns about future abuse, I would report it immediately. There are way too many situations such as this one that go unreported and end up in tragedy. Honestly, if you are that concerned, report it! You may end up saving their lives!

Answer 10

YOUR MOTHER REFUSES TO HELP HERSELF FOR WHATEVER REASON, BUT YOU CAN HELP YOU.
I AM A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU STAYING IN THE HOUSE FOR THE NEXT YR. IS THERE ANY PLACE YOU COULD GO.
WHEN AND IF THE TIME IS RIGHT, YOUR MOM WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SITUATION. HOW SAD THAT SOMEONE THINKS SO LITTLE OF THEMSELVES THAT THEY ALLOW SOMEONE TO TREAT THEM THIS WAY.
ONCE YOU LEAVE, DON'T GO BACK. MAKE A GOOD LIFE FOR YOURSELF AND LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE.
LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO.