my son has been married 6 years. several years back his "wife" calls him at work telling him that a guy was there. My son loves this woman alot. he calls me saying he is going home and some one will get hurt. long story short we get there( with the law) the male subject is gone. Now she is spending LOTS of time with her Friends. male and female. gone for nights at a time, does not cook,clean any of the wife duties. when she married my son, she had notta. now a fairly decent roof, FINE vehicle for her and the male friend to drive. WHY does a person male or female stay in a relationship if no love is there ihave told my son he had put up with more then i dreamed he would . I hate for my son to get a divorce, but being a mom. i hate seeing him trashed. one good thing there are no kids involved.she says now that she doesn'twant any. do i just butt out
2006-09-16 09:52:43 · 10 answers · asked by mamma bird 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He should run, not walk, to a divorce lawyer, find ways to protect himself, then file when it is most convenient.
She is a user, and she is using him. You're not interfering if you make it clear that you don't approve of what she is doing; you don't need to get involved directly but be sure to help your son if he asks for it.
2006-09-16 10:01:04 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well, 6 years is a long time. As a mother I would assume your only concern is your son's best interest. My advice would be to only offer the advice when he asks. Stress your concern as a mother in a loving way; a way that he will know you understand him, will not get in the way, but will be there for him no matter what, if he needs you. Also bear in mind that there are probably 2 sides to the story and you are only hearing one. Is it possible that maybe he is doing something to her that would drive her away? Your first reaction might be to say or think, "My son? No way!" But always keep that in mind! It really does take 2 people for a marriage to fall apart. At some point there was love there. Where it went wrong and why is really not for you to figure out. I understand as a parent that it is hard to watch our kids struggle with things in life and we want to rush to their aid, but we as mothers can only lead the horse to water, we can't make it drink. Maybe he wants to make it work out and your input hinders that. I think you just need to let your son know you love him and that you will stand by him no matter what the end result is. ***good luck*** Although I am only the mother of a 2 yr old I can relate to your situation in that I had a medling mother-in-law who couldn't see that her son was abusive toward me physically and that was the reason I left....not because I cheated on him like he told her.***
2006-09-16 17:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by Erica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't want to sound mean but yes you need to butt out. It is really hard when you are in a miserable situation for some one to keep reminding you how miserable you are, especially when you are in love. He might turn against you if you don't stand back and let him figure this out for himself. Maybe there are some things going on that you don't know about and maybe not. Maybe she feels threatened by the fact that you are always in their business and Maybe not I just know of a similar situation and Mom was never told the whole truth about her son's fault in the marriage but, this mom thought her son's poop didn't stink. What is it about moms and their little boys. I'll probly be the same way when mine grows up.
2006-09-16 17:02:45 · answer #3 · answered by megamom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, butt out. With all due respect, I've also got a son and soon to be daughter-in-law, I can put myself in your shoes, but we have to let them live their own lives. Just be there for them. That is the toughest part. So, I wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful to you. You've got to know, we would do anything for our children to spare them heartbreak - but its not that easy. They too must learn the hard way. So, like I said, just be there for him. Hopefully, he see the light and move on to happiness. God bless!
2006-09-16 16:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no backbone, no self esteem. He may be afraid of being alone and cannot see that he has other options. Mom, there is nothing you can do. He has to make this decision for himself. I would have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know that there is a better life out there than the misery he is going through now.
2006-09-16 16:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She may be on drugs if she's gone nights at a time.something is not right .the more you down you daughter in law the more it will make him stay with her.he has to be the one 2 get tired.
2006-09-16 17:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi MamaBird!
Maybe he is thinking that he married and has to work it out. No one likes to Divorce. Sad for him. I hope he can get through this. Maybe she will leave and he can move on
2006-09-16 16:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She sounds like a real tramp ... Your son should throw her out and file for divorce
2006-09-16 16:55:12 · answer #8 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE BUT IF YOU SON IS MARRIED THEN HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS WALKING ALL OVER HIM. IF HE WANTS TO STAY WITH HIS WIFE AND DEAL WITH HER CRAP THEN THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
2006-09-16 16:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
kick her butt n tell her slut cheating tale 2 het da fudge outt!!
2006-09-16 16:58:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋