She is going behind me cleaning, (like I cant) ,Asking my husband why i dont do this and that, she is 23 no kids and a ged .Im 27 ,4 ,kids and am a college student with two years under my belt thus far. We are happy untill his family comes around, Im ready to take my money and leave. My sister is here for a few days also but his sister is here for a while longer they were drving in the car together today and got into a argument when my sister heard his sister saying your wife is not clean enough around the house. My sister jumped in and defended me my husband didnt, I am a full time student, I home school my kids 7,and 9, I breast feed my 8 month old, and I have a needy 2 year old. I also manage all of our finances cutting coupons and making sure all the bills are paid. while being a pleasent wife we are never arguing when family is not around, what should I do. I just feel like saving my school loan checks ,getting a job buying a house and telling him to marrry his family
2006-09-16 09:51:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hate people like that. Ditch her...
Better yet, tell your husband if she ever stays with you again your leaving with the kids. Let him handle is own damn sister. That will also take care of things in the long run. He'll know better next time not to invite her into your home...
2006-09-16 09:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by tribe2437 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey that is YOUR domain. You aren't required to be polite to those that abuse your hospitality. Don't justify why this or that may not be up to their standards. You sound very responsible and busy and Lord love ya for nursin' that lil' one while trying to do everything. Simply tell the sister that she is free to go stay somewhere else. As for your sister you need to confront her and tell her that she is overstepping her bounds and if she can't stop then not to let the door hit her in the a** on the way out. As for your husband he probably doesn't like confrontation but if he isn't going to help with the long list you have mentioned here of responsibilities then he is low for not speaking up or shutting either of them up. He never should have entertained even one of their critical comments now they feel at ease to do it whenever. At this rate if you are doing everything then what do you need him for? Ask him. He can't change what has occurred but he can assure you that he will take action when the opportunity arises and if he doesn't then he can get to steppin with the others.
2006-09-16 15:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you let him know this is how you feel? Tell him he better start sticking up for you or he won't have anyone to stick up for, plain and simple. Also tell him the sister in law goes back to wherever she came from NOW that you are too busy to be putting up with her crap. If he doesn't cooperate and put a stop to all this now then leave...who needs this crap! He's being a whimp and trying NOT to have any confrontations with anyone so he lets his sister talk her junk and figures you will just put up with it....cause some conflict and things will change, I doubt he'll be willing to give up his wife and kids just to avoid saying shut the f*ck up to his sister and if he will you are definitely better off without him. Good luck.
2006-09-16 10:14:36 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy doesn't defend you, he's already married to his family. Tell your SIL that if she's got a black belt in housekeeping, then find her own house, clean it and shut the hell up. It's easy to be a critic whilst camping out in somebody else's place.
Sounds like your man is used to getting run over by his family, and is too afraid of conflict to prevent you becoming roadkill also. Maybe this is a good thing, you're finding out what your man is made of. Apparently not much.
2006-09-16 10:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my wife and i have been married 18 years,we have had family living with us occasionally. this is never easy and should be avoided if at all possible. also sounds like your husband has not been weened yet. it's time for him to boot the sister and stand up for his wife. a man is to love, HONOR, and cherrish. honor meaning defend his wife.
and as far as your house not being clean, if it is to the point of unsanitary, then yes you need to clean it. but if we are talking about toys,clothes, and a few dirty dishes tell her to but out.
2006-09-16 10:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by bob j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to go,talk to your husband and tell him how this is affecting you,maybe you could go out for a day and let sis in law take care of the house and kids so she can see how hard the job is you do,but you really need to talk to your husband he may not realize the whole situation men are a little slow in that area
2006-09-16 09:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactyly how you feel. I have been married for five years but it is my mother in law that says I am not doing a good job. What you need to do is talk to your husband. Tell him that you understand that his family, BUT he need to undersand that you and his kids are HIS FIRST family now. It is going to be hard because he do not want to hurt no one feelings ,but that is your home and you are the queen, NOT her. GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-16 10:14:16 · answer #7 · answered by nyaj_2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your husband to get rid of his sister. If he does not want to do that it is up to you to get rid of both of them
2006-09-16 12:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you complaining about? You have someone living with you who is cleaning your house for you ENJOY it.
2006-09-16 09:55:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think it's time for her to leave. You and your husband needs some privacy.
2006-09-16 09:54:32 · answer #10 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋