I just kicked out my boyfriend (basically my husband) of 6yrs. After 2 yrs of dating and after I moved in with him, I found out he was on drugs. It devastated me. I did everything to help him and finally he went to a very expensive/prominent rehab 1 1/2 yrs ago. It cost almost 15,000. His family helped me to help him. He is 51 and they told me had been on Heroin since he was 16. Well last week he came home from a weekend trip to his home town and was on it again. I saw how he was and decided not to go through the fiery pits of hell again and I kicked him out. I am hurt because be did not even say goodbye to me. He could have said Thank U, I 'm sorry, kiss my butt or something, but he said nothing and left town. He had told me a few years ago that no one had ever tried to help him before me and that no one had faith in him and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Well I feel really crapped on and as if I meant nothing at all to him. I guess he luvs drugs more.
2006-09-16 09:14:15 · 17 answers · asked by zora w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank u to all who answered my question.
This has been a very difficult time for me and I truly appreciate someone elses point of view.
No, I do not live in Georgia. I live in Texas.
2006-09-16 10:14:43 · update #1
I am sorry it didn't work out for you. Unfortunately, drug addiction isn't easy to kick the habit. Most people do care but drugs will always be on the top of their minds. Just like alcoholics, once an alcoholic, always one. They have to stay away from temptation, get new friends, etc...
Even though I do not know you, I thank you for trying to help him out. He seemed to appreciate your help since he stated nobody had ever seem to care.
I think you did the right thing. You can't help those who don't really want to be helped. For whatever reason, he seems to have chosen drugs over everything else.
I know he appreciated it. Try not to take it personally since the drugs were his priority.
Big hug to you.
2006-09-16 09:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiancee left me after 5 years due to the fact that I like to drink on my day off. I stopped for awhile because I love her so much, but one day I was out working in the yard and decided that I wanted to go have a beer so I did, she smelled it on my breath and that was it for her, looking back on it I wish I never would have gone and done that but I did and there is nothing I can do about it now. Any way I am sure your ex probably feels the same way I do. I lost the love of my life over a stupid drink or in his case a drug. Sometimes we are just idiots.
2006-09-16 09:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by brent c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
herion is a very stronge drug i been sober for 4yrs after 8yres of streght hell,you love the people thatare with you but the drug keeps you from showing ur love its called being inbarresed and ashame to be with ur family,when we are alone in the world we cry cause we want to stop but the sickness is so bad you feel like ur dying the longer you wait to get the drug the longer ur body gets worst ,no one nos how bad it fells till they been threw it!! teres only two ways to stop methadon its legal but its like a drug but atleast you dont steal and you got it there everyday so ur not sick thats one way 2 stop and stop on ur own for you not because yyou want to make everyone happy cause then you might relaspse again!! i never though i can be sober i thought ill be the rest of my life suffering,thank god!! and i always remember who was there the most when i needed them! write back for any info that you want to ask me i have a sober website at aolgroups look it up aolgroups.com im youcanbsober2
2006-09-16 10:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, now it is time for you to move on. First, protect your assets, if he is on drugs make sure he cannot attach any of your finances.
Do not beat up on yourself, there are some people you cannot help. HIS addiction is his, and until he decides it is enough, it won't be. No matter, how much you want it to be or his family.
Personally, I am proud of you for recognizing right away that he was involved again and was brave enough to kick him out.
2006-09-16 09:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by Seeking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Addiction is treacherous. It's not about you. You sound wonderful. And you could be more wonderful still, he would choose his fix. It's not that he didn't say goodbye, the drugs didn't let him. Over thirty years of heroin addiction is something you can't fight, and I guess he's not going to....So...You have got to stay strong, and start taking care of you, you're number one. Give it time to heal. Eventually, you will fall in love with a healthy, whole man.
2006-09-16 09:20:40 · answer #5 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you probably did the ultimate ingredient in kicking him out. of course you gave him fairly some opportunities to provide up taking drugs. i are conscious of it is painful and not something i will say will alleviate that . Time will heal. you should circulate on mutually with your life.particular, he of course enjoyed drugs greater or he might have provide up for you. do not take it in my view. drugs get a carry on persons that thoroughly controls their lives. i'm sorry to take heed to that the rehab did not something for him. i desire you're actually not the single financially in charge for the invoice. i might seek for advice from a legal expert while you're and spot what your ideas are formerly paying it! He probable didnt say something via fact he knew in his heart you have been appropriate. He would not have began taking the medicine returned. He might have been ashamed or feeling responsible. the two way, you're greater valuable off.
2016-10-15 01:48:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have u ever read the NA book he had? If he was in rehab then he should have that book. If this is what makes u feel most comfortable. It's not easy loving someone that is an addict. It's very unpredictable.
2006-09-16 11:28:47 · answer #7 · answered by furbee_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey,,,people on drugs love the drugs more than anything. you tryed and the drugs meant more. I know it isn't fair but you need to move on and not let it get you down. You didn't get him on drugs he did that on his own. You can only help those who want help and those who help themselves. I personally would not tolerate it at all...if you do drugs then you don't do me.
People on drugs will tell you what you want to hear...run away from him as far and as fast as you can...the end result if you don't will not be good
2006-09-16 09:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kenneth S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all need some1 to show us how much they love us...n miss wen he said dis 2 U...he meant every single word...dat no1 ever cared for him so much...da way u have..
have u ever known any1 who has DONE drugs & NOW has got out of it ??? i guess not...neither have i....BUT
its a war against urself....wen u wanna fight drugs...but u still end up loosing urself to it...
& somehow its not easy....it needs a lot more determination 2 get through this problem...
a person who has been doing drugs since da age of 16....& NOW he's 51...35 years of drugs....DO U PPL THINKITS EASY 2 GET RID OF THINS IN 35 WEEKS ??? no miss....NO
he needs help...some1 who would not shout at him...to leave drugs...but some1 who'd love him so much dat he'd leave em...
Y did he go 2 rehab...he was happy 35 years....wasting himself...
maybe he went there for u...cos he loved u...& didnt wanna end his life...as a druggie....
i know ur upset for u think all u did went wasted...but think bout him...can he get rid of dis problem so soon ??? IMPOSSIBLE...
but...he can....get rid of it...it need a LOT of TIME ...PATIENCE...& LOVE...from no1 BUT U
he never said good bye 2 u...cos he realised he hurted u....n he cudnt face dat...
i can only say...love wins everything...& if u talk 2 him...wid time he will realise who he has...& he will be back 2 da normal life...widout drugs,,,,
i hope u understand
2006-09-16 09:26:47 · answer #9 · answered by moooooooovin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough is enough. Maybe you are feeling guilty because he did not say," thank you." I know I would at least wanted that much. Drugs are more powerful than you. it is horrible but, it is the truth. Been there many years ago..
2006-09-16 09:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by always 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋