im living on my own and none of our parents know about this.... i am NOT gonna tell my mother about this..... but might have to tell my dad...
im sure shes not lying and she is threatening me to marry her or else she is going to have an abortion! NO way im gonna marry her! wht should i do????
she know i like kids... wht should i do? i sed ill ask my dad to buy her a house but she sed she don't want money or a hse and she just want me to marry her!!! are there anyways i can test if the babys mine?and should i marry her and then get a divorce later?
help me!!!!
2006-09-16 08:24:29 · 34 answers · asked by nickcartertrades 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you truly don't love her marrying her is the wrong thing I'm not sure if she will really get an abortion maybe she is saying that to force you to marry her..You two need to sit down and have a major serious talk and tell her to go slow that rushing into marriage will lead to divorce later , but you are there to support her throught it all ..really a complicated sitution but don't rush into something you both will regret..If she is serious about abortion then marry her and try to make it work if not then divorce her and try for custody of your child..Bit the baby needs both parents in it's life ..Good Luck to you and I truly hope it works out..
2006-09-16 08:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by Just Dreamin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's certainly got you between a rock and a hard place. It's wrong of her to try to coerce you into marrying her because she is pregnant. Especially threatening to abort the baby if you refuse. That's the worst kind of blackmail. Personally, I wouldn't want a guy I had to trick into marrying me. And I'd wonder if she is really pregnant. My suggestion is to tell her that you won't marry her, but you will stand by her throughout the pregnancy and you will support the baby. If she doesn't want to keep the baby you can file for custody after it is born. To the best of my knowledge, you have to wait until the baby is born to test for paternity. Talk to your parents. You may be an adult, out on your own, but you need their help. No one should try to deal with this all alone. I pray she'll make the right decision and not have the abortion. May God bless you all!
2006-09-16 08:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are a couple of tests for paternity that can be done during pregnancy, but not sure how many weeks pregnant you need to be. However, there is always some risk of spontaneous abortion with these tests...
You can not force her to continue the pregnancy if she does not want to but she can not blackmail you into marriage either. Offer her all the financial support that she will need and if you think you will be a good father, its great that you will be in the baby's life, but if from now you dont set limits, she will manipulate you and run your life like u are her toy. Don't go down that path... Hope its not your baby becuase its really sad to think your child will have someone like that for a mother!
2006-09-16 08:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest.
If you don't want to marry her then you have a serious problem - if indeed she is serious in her threat.
If she is intent on having the baby if you marry yet intent on killing it if you don't, my opinion is that she is using it as a device against you.
I assume that were she to give birth you would do the decent thing and provide financially and emotionally?
If you make your feelings known and she is still hell-bent then there is little you can do aside from entering a marriage which may or may not fail.
You need to search your conscience and ask whether you love this unborn child enough to spend the rest of your life with the mother or you are happy to see it killed.
You had sex with her - DNA tests are available to determine if it really is yours - and it was unprotected obviously, therefore the blame would appear to be laid firmly at your own door.
If you choose your own life over that of the foetus and she carries out her threat, then she never loved you in any case.
2006-09-16 08:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by steven b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a job, go to the nearest WalGreens or whatever economy store, buy a pregnancy testing kit. Make sure it is just the 2 of you when she takes the test or at least no other female who could be pregnant and test for her. Don't tell her your plan, just do it. If she doesn't take the test, she is lying! If she tests negative and starts faking like she "had a miscarriage" she was lying anyway! If she says that she had an abortion already, she was lying anyway! My advice: before you go between the thighs.......condomize! Bet you won't be unhooded again will ya!
2006-09-16 08:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by CAM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a good lawyer. He can petition the court for proof of pregnancy and DNA. Do not marry her. YOU already know you do not want to be tied to her forever. She may or may not be playing you. You are too young to get married to someone you do not love. Next time you need to have sex with someone you can see being with the rest of your life put on a condom. If it is your kid, accept that you will be paying a percentage of any wages for the next 20 years to a woman you do not like. Your mom will find out one way or the other so dont bother trying to hide it from her, you will only upset her for your deception.
2006-09-16 08:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Lynnette G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First contemplate whether he's the father are you waiting to go into right into a dating having their new child on your existence ? would you be arranged for each little thing featuring the youngster? Visitation, new child help. Him having a dating with the youngster's mom. in case you could stay with him understanding each and all of the failings you would be dealing with then be supportive and notice what happens. If no better to enable him pass now. He has sufficient to think of approximately and in case you won't have the ability to be supportive and nevertheless choose him enable him pass. no person would blame you in case you probably did. it extremely is stressful to start a clean dating understanding something like this.
2016-10-01 01:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by wichern 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell her to grow up and get a job, and that she has a baby now, and cant be making dumb and rash decisions!!!
(Along with you). Dont marry her just to save your baby. Tell your parents (I know its scary, but they are going to find out anyways, and tell her parents too!). And make her realize that you are going to be a GREAT father even if you dont marry her.(and you better be) And about the testing to see if its your. Yes, go to the hospital, and say you want a paternaty test. If its yours. Then you can get custody of the baby, before it comes out. Just tell the court or whoever, that she doesnt want the baby and you do. She can still have it, but it will be in your custody, and she will have to ask to see it. Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 08:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by TayNuz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Man O Man. Don't you regret no protecting yourself?
You better man up and make a disicion. Either you do what you feel is right and she has that abortion, or marry her so you can have the child.
You have no one to blame but yourself and you must be a man and make a hard decision and accept it.
Sound like she's manipulating you, but you deserve it.
If you don't want to marry her, DON'T. If she has an abortion, that's her decision since you want no part of her.
Next time dude, WRAP IT UP!
2006-09-16 08:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by monkeymustard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truly believe the baby is yours you can in some states you can get a DNA test done now or make it illegal for her to get an abortion until the baby is born so a test can be done DO NOT MARRY HER unless you really want to
2006-09-16 08:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋