2006-09-16 08:10:08 · 25 answers · asked by wadud1948 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That depends on the age of the child and the circumstances. If they've been spoiled for a long time and been allowed to do whatever they want, then it's going to be a lot harder than if you're starting new or if they've just started going through a phase.
In general, you need to set rules, define an appropriate punishment for infractions, and be consistent. If the rules change from day to day, or if enforcement is sparse and inconsistent, then it's worth it to the kid to take the risk and break the rule in hopes that nothing will come of it. If the punishment is appropriate and consistantly given, then the child should realise that he can't get around the system and that he has to be responsible. If it is too harsh, or if he is only punished some of the time for the bad behavior, then he'll spend all his time thinking about the unfairness of the punishment and come to resent you. For instance, if it's his turn to do the dishes and he doesn't or if he doesn't get them clean because he's not trying, then he gets to do dishes for a week in addition to his usual chores. It would not be appropriate, however, to ground him for a month just because he didn't get the dishes clean once (I know parents who have done that).
It shouldn't be all about punishment, though -- if he or she does something good or has been good for a certain amount of time, reward and praise him or her. That will boost the child's confidence and reinforces the idea that you can be pleased and are proud of him when he behaves. So, say the child has done all his chores and hasn't gotten in trouble in the last week, take him out for ice cream, reward him with an allowance if you believe in allowances, or otherwise take him to or let him do something that he enjoys as a treat. Just keep in mind that rewards are also only effective if they are appropriately and consistently doled out, and must not be given out if the child doesn't follow the contract that you have with him.
As a side note, I don't believe in putting TVs or video games in a child's room. If the child wants to participate in such activities, then he should be doing them with the family, not holed up in isolation to while the rest of the family is spending time together. Also, sending a child to his room is undermined as a punishment if he's using it as a retreat from you to do fun things. Plus, it distracts from homework and sleep.
Outside of this, unless I know the age of the kid and the situation, I can't be of any help to you. Sorry.
2006-09-16 08:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obdeience begins with the parents watching, and teaching their children to be obedient. If they just let them do what ever they want, sadly a lot do, then they will become harder to become obedient.
2006-09-16 08:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jason N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I like to think that I'm a good child. I call my parents every day and I make sure to go nad visit them at least 4 times a week to see the grandkids. And I try and help them out by cleaning their house and taking them dinner
2016-03-17 21:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Various options, not all of which I agree with. Smacking is one, which I agree in severe circumstances may be justified. Personally I would adhere to the carrot and stick approach.
Same as for as pet dog, reward for good behaviour and not for bad. Use your tone of voice to signify approval/disapproval and give small treats when they are good. Withhold when bad, and with children send them to bed early, cancel the PlayStation usage for the night - whatever - they need to know they will pay a forfeit for transgressions.
No matter what you do though, it is easy to scold but people invariably forget to praise and reward. Do not make that mistake.
2006-09-16 08:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by steven b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
respect goes both ways.
my daughter and i are always talking. about 8 months ago we started getting into arguements. we set a time to talk and decided that instead of yelling over each other i would speak first (cause i'm the adult) then i would listen as she talked. and then if we could compromise we would and if i decided that there was no room for compromise she was more agreeable and we would go by my rules (cause i'm the parent).
just showing enough respect to listen to her shows that i do care and then she's more excepting of whatever my final discision will be.
if she has a fit and gets out of control then she losses extra's. like tv, puter, games, certain toys, outside time. before you say i should not make her stay inside and that fresh air is good for her. i will not go out in public when my daughter is acting up!
set rules and stick to them. there is always room for compomise but only if all rules are followed. like if my girl does really good in school for the week, i might let her stay up and watch an extra movie on the weekend. this is big for her because i have a sleep disorder and have to stick to a very strict sleep schedule. so staying up later is a great motivator for her. only on weekends though. lol.
my daughter is nine and so far this seems to be working for us.
i am a single parent and its definitely hard. especially since when she's with her dad, he lets her do whatever. i also discipline her for things that she does wrong when she's with him. if i didn't she would always think she could do whatever she wanted and never get in trouble. that makes for a bratty child. i don't like bratty kids, so why would i want mine to be that way. so anyway she knows that being at her dads she still has to behave. so far it's working. knock on wood. lol.
i also tell her everyday that i love her. most of the time she says it back. lol.
she went through a spell when she was around six, (the same time she started seeing her dad more) where she would get mad and go in her room and just tear it up. i let her go on like this with consequenses for about a month. then i told her enough was enough and said the next time she did it, i was going to collect all her stuff and give it to charity. she did again and i kept my word. i gave all her toys and games that she threw all over to the church and all her clothes went into my closet. she hated not being able to pick her own clothes out for school. that was the last time she tore her room up. lol.
sorry to run on like this but i think (after watching other children and parents) that something i'm doing is right. not being biased!
lol. but something is definitely working. she is considerate, thoughtful for her own and others well being, curtious, happy, energetic, giggly, laughing, joking, helpful, smart, just an all in all great kid. and when you think about the bad parts of her life (which i do not talk about in front of her), it's pretty amazing. her dad is adicted to pills and pot and carts her around getting high at every stop. i tried to go through court and yup, you guessed it, nothing. so to have such an awsome child is great.
i'm hoping against hope that as she comes into her teens we will manage to keep communicating. lol. so far so good.
good luck.
2006-09-16 11:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take it from a teen(15) if you try to make us obediant we will most likely rebel! so you might be trying to hard if you respect us that helps
2006-09-16 08:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, you must be a responsible, well mannered parent. Then treat your children with respect. Realize they are maturing individuals and not little babies. Be calm, fair and consistent.
2006-09-16 08:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I use a baseball bat. It works very good on them doing as they are told. It can also put the kids to sleep very easy at bed time.
2006-09-16 08:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Feeling their needs and dealing with them the right way is the shortest way to make them friendly and obedience. It is one of the things, of course.
2006-09-16 08:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by magdolene 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T hit them.
give them time out (not for too long) in a room (never make it a fun room with games) or a corner.
watch super nanny.
2006-09-16 08:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋