she loves me, but is not in love with me, she said I am the perfect husband and father, she just wants to be free, after her dad died 8 years ago, I became her father, we had only been married for 4 wks when he died, we never had time to be husband and wife, life has got in the way. Please advise.
2006-09-16 07:50:26 · 15 answers · asked by saxons_uk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
start dating a woman better looking than her. jealousy will kick in and she will want you just because antoher woman does.
2006-09-16 07:55:55 · answer #1 · answered by repentant sinner 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all she wants you to respect her an this means doing what she has asked of you. I promise you by giving her space she will not forget you but cherish that you listened to her, she will come back when she is ready. But also, you said that YOU became her father. You wouldn't want to feel like you were married to your mother would you? The same goes for her, you could NEVER be the father that she had, and as a husband your role is to stand besides her and support her. Don't be her father, she doesn't want to feel like she's making love with her father....Also, their is a difference from loving someone and being IN LOVE with them. You CANNOT make somone be in love with you, you just have to hope that with you as you are they will want to be. The best thing to do is to respect her, this will also show her how much you love her.....she is watching you and seeing how you will behave. If you try to control the situation or her she will pull away...but by backing off and giving her her space, she will see how much you truly care............be patient and give her the time she needs.
2006-09-16 09:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by dlmvm0612 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life seems to get in the way of a lot of things. Maybe you shouldn't have taken the roll of "daddy" in the first place!!!
My father died when I was six, I lost out on the father figure. My husband is my husband, my father was my father. I think you need to try to bring the romance back into your relationship. You might need professional help. I just don't believe in that whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" crap. Rich or poor, sick or health, "till death" do you part!!!! Marriage is a full time job. You need to constantly work at it. Good luck.
2006-09-16 08:19:54 · answer #3 · answered by RASBERRI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not heart to win because it was never there. She only had that relationship with you because she needed a father figure. Now that the job is done (provided she found something more to secure herlife from someone else), she's moving on to greener pastures.
Sorry to break it to you dude, but she's a lot smarter than you think. She had this planned from the very beggining and you can't blame her for that, because she had assumed, in so little words, that this was ok with you.
Manipulation you say? You bet.
Besides man, she said she's not IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Hard as it is for you, MOVE ON.
2006-09-16 08:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by monkeymustard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have a heart to heart talk about how fleeting her feelings of wanting to be free are. There have been times when me and my wife felt that way and if we would have gone with our feelings we wouldn't be as happy as we are right now. If she doesn't see that though, im sorry to say there is nothing you can do. Right now, me and my wife are so happy and can't remember why we wanted to run in the first place so trust me, these are fleeting feelings.
2006-09-16 07:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by inluvwshana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,find out what she wants and needs from you. Physically & emotionally. She may need to be swept off of her feet again. Bring her a single rose just out of the blue. Tell her you love her and what you love about her. Sometimes the little things is what matters the most. I wish my soon to be ex-husband did those little things. We might not be getting a divorce now. Good Luck ! I hope it works out for you.
2006-09-16 11:59:17 · answer #6 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard. But there must be some reasons why she drifted away. Can it be an age gap problem? How about try to start from the every beginning, do the same thing that you did the first you had the chance to get hold of her? Give her roses, etc.
2006-09-16 08:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first actual difficulty you want to do, is comprehend that you may not turn again time, you look too centred on your previous, trust it or not. Its large to initiate over, yet its YOU that needs to spotlight YOU. you need to bypass and examine with a specialist counselor, a guy, who might want to have a significantly better recognize-how of the topics youve had. this is going to educate your spouse, youre making a truthful attempt and help you're taking care of whats been finished. Dont be this style of men that announces "oh i dont prefer to be sure someone for help, i'm too macho...too proud, blah blah blah", it takes a more effective guy to seek help even as help is necessary. you may also recommend that you position aside quarter-hour an afternoon, in accordance to day, to communicate over at the same time with your spouse the days activities, that way issues under no circumstances advance right into a difficulty. Is there something that exceeded off at present that needs addressing? something, this is going to also reteach you a thanks to communicate. Now, i dont recognize what you probably did, what has exceeded off. in case you cheated on her ,nicely then, overlook each and every of the above, (it fairly is my opinion in basic terms, as to me thats a finished deal, its over). yet you didnt provide the information fairly. you also prefer to entice close a thanks to argue, Arguing is sturdy. yet you dont advance your voices, you're taking a seat flippantly and communicate the topics. If she starts off yelling you want to point that out, acceptable, sweetly as you assert. As your self, are you positive youre nonetheless "in love" which includes her?? in the experience that your not, or she isn't, then theres no element, decrease than 5 % ever get that again in a wedding ceremony once its lengthy previous. Do issues round the abode, make it habit. cook dinner for her some circumstances a week, yet not in basic terms for some weeks, dont do something for a "month", you want to save it up, A effectual marriage is an entire time interest and calls for finished time attempt to make it very last and improve better. sturdy success
2016-11-27 19:05:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to make up for what her father did with her, that is something that only her father could do, and probably something that she doesn't want anyone else, especially her husband, trying to do. It might help to bring out the sexual life a little bit. I mean, that's definately something you don't do with your father (I hope)........
2006-09-16 07:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by x-e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are acting as her father. Change your atitudes. Say you married with she to be her husband, her man and not a her father, After it dinner out. Good luck
2006-09-16 07:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by nonono 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's hard to believe that any sane woman would give up her life, husband AND CHILDREN, because her father died. a wife's responsibility is to her family frist, the one she marreid into, not her biological family.
get custody of the kids fast.
2006-09-16 07:53:33 · answer #11 · answered by chapped lips 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋