Now she wants to go to college again. For one thing I dont think she'll graduate because she's lazy. Two, I think she isn't smart enough anyway. How do I tell her its not a good idea, without letting her know I just want to save money.
2006-09-16 07:31:24 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Hey, I dont blame you at all, I mean, why keep sinking money into something with no returns? I think Id just tell her that you cant afford it right now, assuming you handle the finances. Tell her to work for a while, and you'll put aside $XX a month from her paycheck, and when she has saved enough up, she can pay for herself to go back. Then the next time she wants something expensive, just say you cant afford it, but if she really wants it, she could use her "college" money to buy it. Then there's no chance in heck she'll ever go- unless she is really motivated and puts off buying those expensive things and really saves up for it. If she does that, well, then you should probably let her go, she's probably gotten some motivation over the years.
2006-09-16 07:40:47 · answer #1 · answered by bmwdriver11 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
wow you don't think much of your wife do you??
I would voice my concerns in a positive way, like "i am happy to support you, but i am concerned you are not committed to picking a career and finishing it" I have no objections to spending money on college that we will have to pay back later however, I want to make sure in the end you will have a career you will be happy with. Whats your plan.? and then listen to her plan. If she has a concrete one that she is motivated to completing... then you may have to concede. I would personally expect her to work at least part time while adding school to her life.
This will show if shes trying to avoid work by being a lifetime student or is committed to bettering her career. I worked full time myself while completing graduate school, so its possible!
2006-09-16 15:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by tara t 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all, marriage is all about support and communication. You really need to see if she is really serious this time. Remember, college is not cheap, but it is beneficial, if she decides to choose a great major and career path. Ask about her plan. What sacrifices is she willing to do for you and for herself. My husband was skeptical when I said I wanted to go back to school, but when I presented a plan, he thought it was pretty good. Now I'm back in school pursuing nursing. You don't have to be ultra smart to go to college. And plus, u shouldn't say anything about your wife like that anyway. You just have to know how to manage your time wisely and study effectively. She can do it. But she has to be sincere about it. Hear her out.
2006-09-16 14:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by MadameJazzy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh come on is this a joke! HA HA HA !
Depression can make you want to give up .
If she is fed up with you that would be a great incentive to do well in college and finish this time and get a great job that she likes and makes her feel strong again !
YOU GO GIRL !
2006-09-16 14:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine814 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll guess she's not going to college because she has had to wait for you to get a job or something. I'll assume if it's something she wants to do, she will get the loans to do it if she can't get you to pay for it.
Well, you don't seem supportive of your wife, by calling her stupid. You call her lazy, but have remained married to her. Are you sure you're not just having a problem adjusting to the idea that she will not be home all day long or that she will be taking night classes? Without further input, you are not looking so good with this question. If you backed your claims, I could answer you in good faith.
2006-09-16 14:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, a supportive husband shouldn't give up on his wife! You married a woman who you don't think is smart??? What does that say about you? You think she is lazy? So you married a lazy stupid woman? Hmmmm. If you want to be a good husband, encourage your wife to go back to school, encourage her to finish and get a good job, pay the bills and be glad you didn't marry a really smart, energetic woman who would leave you pronto for not having faith in her!!!
2006-09-16 14:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Myabe you should just try supporting her. She may just want to better herself for YOU. If you want her to do something useful, send her to school for something crazy that you know she will love. Interior Design, acting classes, Pottery. She may learn a something fun and it may profit you guys in the end. They could go into business for herself (Interior Design). Move her to California to try acting (this would be a huge act of love) and with Pottery- she could sell the pieces at local trade or craft shows etc.
2006-09-16 15:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by Cortney & Nathan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, with someone as *supportive* as you, no wonder she fails. Ever consider helping her some, reminding her of the goal and keeping up with her work, encouraging her, helping her around the house so she can study? You sound as though you are well on your way to being an emotionally (if not worse) abusive spouse.
I have known some pretty feeble minded people who hold a college degree, but then again, they had good marriages.
2006-09-16 14:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
So instead of going to college, perhaps she can just continue to be lazy while making some money, yet feeling horrible about herself?
2006-09-16 14:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by bitchenbrod 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Encourage her in the things she likes. If she's happy, you'll be happy. Put on the negative and discourage her then you're the one causing her to fail and ultimately being unhappy....you'll be miserable. If you can afford it, let her see what she can do.
If you say she's not smart enough, maybe going to college will be what she needs to get smarter and make YOU happy.
Let her enjoy living too....
2006-09-16 14:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by Julie W 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋