me and my husband been together for 3 years iam 3 years older than him and when i met him he was sweet, mature ,he cleaned up the house ,and he had a job but now he is lazy, rude,messy,and he cant keep a job at all we are about to get put out of our apartment and i can only do so much on a 8.00 dollar an hour job and every time i try to talk to him he gets affended and try to start a fight so if i cant talk to him what should i do i love my husband and i vowed to be with him for richer and poorer but this is just getting out of hand.HELP!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 06:51:54 · 21 answers · asked by mrsp27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lazy, rude,messy,and he cant keep a job
hmmm and this happened overnight. You made vows but in those vows it said nothing about being a stressed out loving wife who has to provide monetary support so your hubby can sit home. If he's not sick it's time to get off his butt and be a man. You are allowing him to continue this way..obviously you back off when he gets upset when you try to talk about it. My suggestion take your pay cheque and your suitcase and move somewhere else. You don't need a young capable person as dead weight. A marriage is sharing the workload and he isn't sharing.
2006-09-16 07:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could be cheating on you. Sounds like he doesn't love you anymore. Do you still love him? It's more than that vow - it's all about love. Someone in your relationship destroyed the love. Someone has to revive it because you're heading down a slippery slope there.
Do you love yourself? Because if you loved yourself, he'd find it easier to love you. Then the next question is - does he love himself... doesn't sound like it. I don't know how much you want to invest into making this marriage work. But it sounds like it's already in the trash can.
Give yourself a time frame of maybe a year. Let him know that you're giving the marriage another shot for a year. If things don't change, leave him or else live grow old in a relationship where there is no love.
That would be very sad.
2006-09-16 07:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by Alex B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he isn't living up to his responsibility to honor and cherish. That does include being willing and able to provide for his spouse and family. It sounds like he has an issue with depression. That would explain a lot about the changes in him and his attitude.
If he isn't willing to get help, then you are not going to be able to force him. Your marriage, as you already know, is in deep trouble. If he doesn't get a wake-up call soon and realize he needs to come out of his downward spiral - then there will be no choice but to end the marriage.
You obviously love him enough to try and save your relationship - which shows you are far more patient and supportive than most people. You will need to tap into every ounce of your ability to get you through this.
Good luck!
2006-09-16 07:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by oscarschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this question is kinda racist..... black people white people people of all races can be loud mouth and labled.. not just one.. each races says things about the other.... I have no idea why people are so IGNORANT but it happens..... Never judge a book by it's cover always read the contents inside to find the real story..
2016-03-27 04:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something very, very wrong with this situation. He obviously lost a lot of respect for you after marrying you. You should give him some type of ultimatum about either cleaning up his act, or you will consider leaving him. He shouldn't treat you this way, nor be so careless. Giving him an ultimatum will tell you the direction you should go with him and your relationship.
2006-09-16 06:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called grow a backbone, put your foot down, and leave until he gets a job, cleans the house, and wises up. People can only do what we allow them to do to us.... You are an enabler and so long as you let him be a lazy, out of work slob he will be... People will usually only change when given no other choice.... so give him no other choice
2006-09-16 06:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by lisa n florida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U can try 2 approaches. First, try and talk to him without getting him on the defensive, such as constructive criticism and see if that will help him understand. If not, don't be afraid to speak up and stand your ground as sometimes, people need a wake up call to see that they are screwing up.
2006-09-16 07:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you're willing to honor the marriage vows, he isn't. Screw that, which do you love more, being with a man that will have you living on the streets or loving yourself enough to know you can do better than him. Mistakes happen and he's one of 'em.
2006-09-16 07:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, i feel bad for you. the truth is even though he will get offened, which by the way is only because he knows you are right, you still need to talk to him. tell him that if he loves you he would try to help you out with the bills, the cleaning, and be nicer to you.
2006-09-16 06:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by Btieti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've heard of "SUGAR DADDY" ????Well,your the SUGAR MOMMY! Tell him he has a chose, either get a job(and keep it) or get out. You can support yourself cheaper that 2. I see it about 1/2 as much.
2006-09-16 07:00:29 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋