My boyfriend's parents are in town, and I have never met them before. I have been dating their son for almost two years and he has spent a lot of time with my family.
So, my parents thought it would be nice to have a BBQ at their house to meet my boyfriend's parents. They asked them over 2 weeks ago, and are being extremely wishy-washy.
First they said okay, then they said no. Then they said it would be ok, but only on Sunday at 12. I've never heard of a GUEST requesting the date and time of the event.
Now they're saying they possibly can't do it.
I think they're being extremely rude - do you too?
2006-09-16 06:50:08 · 31 answers · asked by cutiewithabooooty 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh, I forgot to say....
They live in South Dakota, I live in San Diego and they don't have the money to fly out all the time. That's why I haven't met them yet :)
2006-09-16 06:58:48 · update #1
Nick_T - you're probably about 12 years old and that's why you felt the need to call me a b*tch when I was simply asking a question.
Go back to 6th grade and learn some respect, k?
REPORTED
2006-09-16 07:01:28 · update #2
Yes i would take that as being rude.
2006-09-16 06:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Brown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they really are uncomfortable with going and insted of being polite and simply saying "no thank you maybe another time" they do this back and forth thing. Maybe you could suggest that since the BBQ seems a little difficult maybe everyone can get together to go out to a casual restaurant. It really sounds to me like they are just not feeling up to meeting your parents. Bear in mind that they may feel a bit awkward because your boyfriend has this established relationship with your parents already. They may feel a bit threatened on some weird level too. Sorta like your parents take their place when they aren't around. Try to view it from their side too. But I would be a bit put off just as you are right now.
Good luck
2006-09-16 07:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think we have the whole story, do we? Seems rude.
Are his parents intimidated in some way? Are your parents the social type with plenty of resources to entertain? Do they put off any aire of snobbery, and expect everyone to drop everything for a special invitation from them? If not, then the boyfriend's parents are being rude, or they are extremely busy or have other problems. Maybe they are casual people who don't go anyplace at a set time, but just fly by the seat of their pants...? Maybe you need to ask your boyfriend for more insight into this mystery.
2006-09-16 07:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by catarina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I can see how you would feel that you are bending over backwards.However, I can't exactly say they are being rude. Did you speak to them yourself? This could be a number of things. You boyfriend could have butterflies about the whole thing, they may be nervous themselves, or maybe they really just couldn't make it. My best suggestion is not to stress it. You've done your part trying to meet them and the ball is no longer in your court. You were not rude and that's all that matters. I do agree with one thing you said, though. You would think parents would childproof the net from their children! : )
2006-09-16 09:28:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, my Mom has medical problems and she gets embarrassed about it. My Dad can't eat everything. When my in-laws come around, they always have things planned to the minute. Maybe the Dad, or Mom are a real pain and having issues right now. What I'm trying to say is that, there are so many reasons besides just being rude. Take it easy on them and let it happen and I wish you all luck.
2006-09-19 11:07:38 · answer #5 · answered by lisa z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been dating their son for nearly two years and have not met them yet? And, when the offer is made to welcome them to your home, they decline??
Their lack of interest in you and your family is deliberate. This tells you that you don't have their support when it comes to a long term relationship with their son.
What you fail to mention is how your boyfriend feels about his parents actions? Is he making excuses for them? If he is, then that should tell you that he will always take mommy and daddy's side - and will do whatever it takes to please them.
You need to re-evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. It sounds like you are just treading water at this point - and there is no hope for a future.
2006-09-16 07:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by oscarschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is kinda rude. Are they giving a reason that they don't want to? Since they have not met you in the two years that you have dated their son, it makes me wonder if they even care to. I think your boyfriend needs to ask them what the problem it.
If they truely wanted to get to know you and your family, they would be more than happy to come over. There must be some reason they don't want to.
2006-09-16 06:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by LittleMermaid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think theyre not telling you why they cant make it and theres a communication gap. I find it rude too but I'd bet theres an explaination youre not hearing about. I'd just try to forget about it...dont want hard feelings so early into a relationship. Best of luck.
2006-09-16 06:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They just are probably a liitle concerned and confused. They just want the best for their son. He may not even be giving them the full story. Just keep being respectful and show them your right for their son. Im sure your family wants the best for you as well.
2006-09-16 06:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I really think so. This is one of those times, when parents don't want to accept that their little boys, its a MAN and not a boy anymore. They don't want to meet you, because they know that now their little boy, has someone else, and they are not the most important people in his life anymore. If they don't want to meet you, don't worry about it, on the wedding they will meet you trust me.
2006-09-16 06:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they're just uncertain of if they want to be over. Some people aren't as social as others and find it uncomfortable.
If that's not the case, then something important could have come up to make them unable to come.
They may also just be nervous.
It may not be their fault at not being able to come.
2006-09-16 06:55:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋