My wife and I are currently seperated. She wants the marriage to not exsist, but I want to keep my marriage. I feel that she is confussed with what she really wants. We still have sex and she flirts with me on the phone. She doesn't let me off the phone when we talk unless I say, " I love you" before I hang up. She loves it when I am around. We are still living together, but we plan on me moving out soon. We used to argue about how she is going to keep the house and the kids, but now she was me to keep the kids and the house and she wants to move out. I just want to know what is going on with her in her head. So, what is she thinking...what is happening with her mentally?
2006-09-16 05:47:35 · 26 answers · asked by Novotny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe shes just uncertain of what she really wants at the moment. Or it could also be that she doesnt want to feel tied down with kids or a house to take care of and she wants to be the one who moves out and starts over agian. Either way you really should confront her with this, i know u said you still care for her and u want to keep the marraige but for now you should think what is best for yourself and the kids. If shes going to act strange liek that then you deffiantly need to do something about it because u dont want to end up getting really hurt to find that she just leaves out of the blue.
2006-09-16 05:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got me. My sister is doing close to the same thing, only she's been living with another man for almost 2 yrs., but has never gotten her divorce. Now she stays with our parents every other weekend, and her and her husband go out and do stuff together. It's a really messed up situation. It must have something to do with the grass is greener on the other side thing. In my sisters case, I think she just thought she was so unhappy in her marriage that this other man was what she wanted. I think now she's finding out that she's really not as happy as she thought she would be. Hopefully, she'll go back home to her husband where she belongs. I think maybe your wife still loves you, but feels like this is the only way to make herself happy. Have you two tried counseling? I wish I could help you more, but this is all I have. Good luck. I hope everything will work out for you.
2006-09-16 12:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife isn't confused at all, You are the one that is confused, Your wife is having an affair with another man, that is why she wants you to stay in the house with the kids, that way she knows exactly where you and the kids are, Get some balls, that is your problem, wake up!! She needs you to "be a man", if when you set her straight on how the relationship is going to work then she will either come back to you and straighten up or she will be gone, you can't loose something you didn't have. Get some Balls!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 13:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by meanicelady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are either the dumbest man ever born, or the biggest fool on Earth...YOU are being played, royally. She has found that the kids are restrictive, that she can have a great time IF she has no responsibility, and can return to being truly single if she dumps the kids and you! She is keeping you tight on her string so you will go along with whatever she wants. Next question you will be asking is 'how much money should I give her". Grow up and join the real world. Confused??? I think not.
May I suggest that you keep the house, keep the kids, and dump her first? She will destroy your children if she keeps them, for she does NOT want them and they will know it. Make HER pay child support (she doesn't see this one coming yet, OR she does and wants to soften you up so you won't ask for it). She will be liable for child support, just as you would be were she to take the kids.
I suggest that you agree to keep the children, call a lawyer at once and get things in motion. Determine the going rate for child support, sue and stick with it. I would record all conversations on the phone that have to do with the kids. You are going to need this in court when she denies all and tries to go for custody to get her hands on the child support! And I suggest you do all this as quickly as possible, for you are in limbo, need closure, and this biotch is not going to give it to you. She is on a power trip, thinks that a string of men is power (it isn't but she is a child herself and has no inclination to grow up...very high school). You owe it to your children to act like a parent, not someone's toy. To date, you are acting like a toy, not a man. (and if this question is any indication of your reactions to her crap, I would have to think that you have a lot of growing up to do yourself. ) I do wish you luck.
2006-09-16 13:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. Your right in your diagnosis, shes confused for whatever reason. She is in need of professional help to help sort out her feelings whether she stays married or not. Without help, married or not shes going to be around you for a very long time. You represent the one solid base in her life where she can go when confused, expecting you to help her out with whatever she needs. To her, you will always be there when she needs you. The rest just exists but isnt sure what or why. Shes refusing to accept reality for what it is. She may not fully understand it too. It may be too much marital stress or responsibilty driving her into a fantasy world where nothing is as it seems. Get her the help or deal with this for some time. Good luck
2006-09-16 12:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she has someone else but hasn't wanted to tell you. If I were the both of you I would seek counselling before you bring this relationship to an end. If you can't afford counselling try meeting with someone who isn't on either side, a friend perhaps to sit with the two of you mediate. If she doesn't want to do this maybe she just doesn't love you in that way anymore and it is time to move on just be happy she isn't doing it the messy way and is still trying to be friends for your kids sake.
2006-09-16 12:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a somewhat similair situation, but atleast your wife still seems to want to be around you. My wife and I moved in with her mother and things went really bad. I began feeling that she was getting closer and closer to her mother and further and further from me and my mother in law stopped helping pay the bills like she promised to do, so of course it began to get confrontational and I left, I tried to go back and my wife does not want me back and she wants nothing to do with me. My pastor seems to think the whole thing may have been a set up and before I left they were just using me for a paycheck, so I am not sure what women think sometimes all I know is after 12 years of marriage my wife wants nothing to do with me and is living with her mother. We have 3 kids together and she acts like she has been unhappy with me the whole 12 years
2006-09-16 14:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by jbrown280000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry and only she knows the answer to that question. Sounds like she is confused and wants the best of both worlds you and her freedom. If I were you I would let her move out and take it one day at a time. Maybe seek some counseling individually and as a couple.
I wish you the best of luck!!
lol
2006-09-16 12:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by daack7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too. Sad that she has put kids in this strange situation. Do your kids a favor and don't confuse them more than what they already are, when it comes to the kids stop playing games. She needs to grow up. Someone in this situation needs to be the adult, put your foot down and move on. If she doesn't want to be married and she wants to move ,let her. Don't let the door hit you.
2006-09-16 12:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Hasslick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, okay. It sounds to me like your wife just wants a little bit of freedom. I think she is going about getting it the wrong way. Maybe you two should try counseling before you call it quits, seems she wants to be in and out at the same time, so its kinda like she is straddling the fence.
2006-09-16 12:51:25 · answer #10 · answered by Monie D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋