I'm so sad. Why did I lose the war?

Question

How can I cheer up?

Answer 1

you pushed it too far, just like Napolean before you

and you had an irrational hatred of Jewish people, that was your death blow

but you are one of the most famous people in the history of the world, and your name will probably outlive any of the names of your enemies, maybe you can take some cheer in that

Answer 2

You lost the war because you attacked Russia too early, you should have kept a alliance with each other until you had all of Europe supressed.

You can cheer up by shooting yourself again, and again, and posining your dog, and your wife.

Answer 3

The ***dam democrats made me do it. My daddy was right, ever time I woke up as a child having bad dreams, my daddy always told me it was the democrats that did it. Also, ever time I did something wrong when I was a child my daddy beat me even if I did not know why. But I learned. By the time I was eleven, I knew was a Democrat. When my daddy died, I told him I was born a democrat, and he looked so oso dead.

Answer 4

You lost because like a dum@ss you started a fight with Russia before settling things in the west. Big mistake, plus all the drugs you were doing didn't help. Finally, instead of getting the Jews onboard to help you, you killed them like a jerk.

Answer 5

Looking at the careers of Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, John kerry, and Ted Kennedy... I'd say you DIDN'T lose thewar.

Answer 6

shave your head and your moustache

and sit in front of the TV, rent comedy movies for the next seven days.

after that, give all your riches to the poor.

then dress up like gay.

Answer 7

Relax. Have a salad. I've got some lovely spinach for you.

Answer 8

Have a Beer fest!

Musterbrew for all.

BTW, Hows that hole in your head these days?

Answer 9

Because you were a virgin and frustrated and messed up all your plans.

Answer 10

Why don't you torture somebody that always seems to pick bushes spirts up.