Who would be the best person to tell about bisexuality/homosexuality?

Question

I am a 21 year old male college student, and I feel that I need to tell someone about my bisexuality--while I have had lingering feelings about it for years, I only recently came to terms with it--but I am not sure who to tell. I spend most of my free time in a lounge with people of both genders, only two of whom, both males, actually talk with me (just about everyone else doesn't, unless one of us needs something; I admittedly have feelings for a female student who hangs out there, but I haven't been able to work up the courage to ask her out). Right now, my closest friend and confidante is someone I knew from high school and lived with for a few months, and is also a male. Of these people, would any of them be good choices to tell about this, and if so, who?

Answer 1

You know all these people better than we do. You should have a better idea of who can handle the news than any of us do.

My inclination would be to keep things on a need-to-know basis. If you must confide in someone, tell your best friend. He might think you're hitting on him, though.

I'd be wary of telling that woman you have feelings for... I can just see how the conversation would go. "Hi, you're cute. Wanna go out? Oh, by the way, I'm bisexual". That's probably not the first impression you want to give her.

Answer 2

I would start with the people who don't have a close connection to my home friends and family. Theres two basic approaches. Just tell everyone and then you don't have to worry about hiding it anymore. Or a more measured approach, taking it slow. Personally, I have leaned towards the latter. B/c once its out it aint coming back in and it could be troublesome if you haven't fully accepted it yourself yet. An older friend of mine gave me the advice, "Don't tell your close straight friends b/c it could create an awkwardness there." Its a tough call. B/c on the other hand , the truth is the truth. But its more important for you to know than others. Thats my take. B/c heres another thing to consider that I think about. If I tell others about being bi, then maybe the girls won't like me b/c they may think homosexuality for men is gross and that maybe they would be more likely to get aids.
Personally, I like transexuals and women. Although I've accepted it somewhat, I still have to come to terms with it. I told my gay friends to start, bc they understand. I have a girlfriend and I told her, and although she says she accepts me and understands, its an awkward thing that i know she wishes would just go away. I hope this was helpful.

Answer 3

I am a 21 year old Gay male who came out to my parents when i was 16, and then came out to everyone else when i was 18. The best person to come out to first is whoever you are closer to. If they are a true close friend/family member then they will accept it and talk to you about it. Don't pick and choose the people you tell. You need to come out to everyone if they don't talk to you anymore or want anything to do with you then they truely aren't friends or close family members.

Answer 4

Investigation into parent-child relations of homosexual and heterosexual men is heavily documented in research literature, and a link between the absence of sufficient bonding with samesex parent or role models and the development of adult male homosexuality has been proposed. Numerous studies have found that adult homosexual males tend to report having had less loving and more rejecting fathers than their heterosexual peers (Bell, Weinberg, & Parks, 1981; Bieber et al., 1962; Braatan & Darling, 1965; Brown, 1963; Evans, 1969; Jonas, 1944; Millic & Crowne, 1986; Nicolosi, 1991; Phelan, 1993; Saghir & Robbins, 1973; Siegelman, 1974; Snortum, 1969; Socarides, 1978; West, 1959).

Bieber (1976) stated:

Since 1962 when our volume was published, I have interviewed about 1,000 male homosexuals and 50 pairs of parents of homosexuals. The classic pattern was present in more than 90% of cases. In my entire experience, I have never interviewed a single male homosexual who had a constructive, loving father. A son who has a loving father who respects him does not become a homosexual. I have concluded that there is a causal relationship between parental influence and sexual choice (p. 368).

Bieber (1976) later expanded and clarified his earlier findings by saying:

We have repeatedly stated and written that a boy whose father is warmly related and constructive will not become homosexual; however, one must not get trapped by the fallacy of the converse, that is, a hostile, destructive father always produces a homosexual son

Answer 5

The majority of your friends will not be able to accept your homosexuality. That's just the way it is. At this point in your young life I can't see why you "need" to tell anyone. I would keep it to myself for the time being. I can see no reason for you to "come out" at this time. Live with your sexuality until you're comfortable with it. Good luck

Answer 6

Bisexuality isn't as common as people think, my guess is that you are just still confused about which sex you are really attracted to. Either that, or you are really gay and don't want to admit that to friends/family/etc. Just try dating a couple guys and then a couple girls to see where your interests really are. You're in college and that's the most accepting setting you will find for alternative lifestyles, I would suggest you stop stressing about it and just go with the flow.

Answer 7

Chris there isnt no correct answer to your question.
I would say pick someone you feel comfortable with and a person you know appreciates you for what you are and not the sexual choices you may have.

I am sure you have friends and family members that have pure and unconditional feelings for you.

Answer 8

gay- gay= completely fascinated in and/or lively with the comparable intercourse right this moment- heterosexual= completely fascinated in and/or lively with the choice intercourse Bisexual= fascinated in the two sexes and/or able to being fascinated in the two intercourse. A bisexual individual frequently has a decision of the two male or lady, yet won't thoroughly exclude one or the different. So no, bisexual adult males are actually not "technically gay" on the grounds that ought to point he in hassle-free terms needs adult males; he's "technically" BISEXUAL.

Answer 9

A female friend or family member would be best to start with. males usually dont take it as well at first. When my son come out it was hard but I was happy he come out to me.

Answer 10

The best friend. If he is truly your friend he will accept you for who you are.