We've been together for about a year and he told me last weekend, when he thought I was too drunk to remember, that he wants to propose on Christmas. But recently we have had nothing resembling a good realtionship; no sex, no good conversation, etc. I'm even worried about all of the debt he's in. I just want to marry someone that is financially stable, which he is not. But I do love him.
2006-09-16 04:46:31 · 27 answers · asked by duckface 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Follow your concuncs or however you spell it or just strip for him
2006-09-16 04:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ok first money isn't everything...You have to decide whether you want to marry for money or love...money comes and goes and is an issue in alot of relationships. My guess is you need to make sure you can live independently on the money YOU make first...are YOU financially stable? Then keep money separate. You use your money for your things and he uses his money for his things....AFTER you have paid 50-50 on all bills and needed essentials.
Doing this can help you avoid unnecessary money issue fights, which I think is the DUMBEST thing to fight over.
HOWEVER..If your relationship is not all that strong you need to look at what the problem is. has it always been like this...if so it always will be...marriage isn't a band-aid that will heal an ailing relationship.
If these problems are new..then why..whats causing the distance between the 2 of you?
You should be absolutely sure that this is what you want...
My opinion (which means nothing..but) is that you are not ready for marriage and are looking for reasons to not marry him.
Choose wisely so that no one gets hurt in the long run..and good luck!
2006-09-16 11:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by Em W. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be just as worried as you are. Be honest. Tell him you remember his proposal, that could be why things are cooling off in your relationship. Tell him how much you love him and that you are not ready. Not until you are both financially stable and able to meet your financial responsibilities as a couple. If you still want to be engaged to him and him to you then do it but have a 1-2 year engagement while you plan your perfect wedding and it may give him time to become more stable with his fianances.
2006-09-16 12:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by mitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really do love him, you should talk to him about the way your relationship has been going as of late. Mention the bad conversation and no sex. Also, tell him you don't want him spending money on a ring--or anything marriage-related--until after his debts are paid and he is in the green again.
If that doesn't work, try couples counseling.
If he is unwilling to fix the current situation, then it's time to get out.
2006-09-16 12:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, at least not yet. These things will become bigger issues to you after you're married. Tell him your concerns and you want to see his commitment to working at the relationship before considering marriage. Also, tell him he needs to get out of debt first. Money is known to be the biggest issue that causes strife in a marriage and what starts the tide turning toward divorce. It's good you are thinking of these things now.
2006-09-16 11:49:45 · answer #5 · answered by all1g8r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel it's not a good relationship then I wouldn't marry him, but on the other hand you say you love him. In a way it's kind of contradicitng and confusing. If you really love him than nothing should stop you from marrying him.
2006-09-16 11:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by farmergyrl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sex is a good thing, and the most important, actually. Financial instability is not, but if he's recovering, you could possibly delay the wedding.
However, I tend to agree with the others and don't feel like there's much that's deep, or positive here.
2006-09-16 11:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion .... you should ask yourself if u really really love her . because in a relationship the most important factor is communication. or a good conversation with your partner . because getting married is not that easy . and u said it right ... u should look for someone who is financially stable . because you might end up paying his bills . you should think a hundred times . maybe you can still find someone who is more responsible .
2006-09-16 12:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by Reesie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finance instability is a real problem , I do not advice starting a new bond with a man surrounded with debts because you will be surrounded with debts too.. However before you decide go closer to him and understand him and the situation better .
2006-09-16 11:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by Nilehawk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love a broke man but in the end it will not be beneficial to you... if he has no hope of recovering and doing something with his life. Don't waste your time get back out there so you can find what you want..love or money? is your real question.
2006-09-16 12:02:58 · answer #10 · answered by mizsinister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if things arent goo right now why on earth would a ring and a piece of paper make it any better? if not worse because more than likely you will end up in divorce within the 1st yr.
2006-09-16 12:47:10 · answer #11 · answered by chemicalbrothers13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋