why is parenting so hard all my newborn does is cry no matter what i do?

Answer 1

is it colic?

Answer 2

You didn't say specifically how many weeks old your child is which would be helpful. The central nervous system of a newborn is very sensitive and obviously not well developed yet. It is normal -expect it- for a baby to cry quite a bit until it's around 12 weeks of age. Usually the crying is worse in the afternoon/early evening hours. This is technically labeled "colic" and the baby will pull its legs up, cry, pass gas, etc. Even in a baby without colic crying for several hours a day (collectively) is somewhat normal. I have four and everyone of them cried in the afternoons/early evening (while supper was cooking!) until about that 12 week point. Some things helped, like a baby swing and a "snuggly," that thing you wear over your shoulders/across your chest that keeps the baby close to you while you do other things. This could also be an issue of digestion, even the formula you're using. You should talk to your baby's doctor as soon as possible.
Most important, don't let it get so bad that you lose control or began to allow it to color your feelings for your baby. This is a very common problem that almost all parents go through. I've known some children who had acid reflux, some who had bad gas pains, one who got car sick and the parents didn't know it, and according to my own mother,I was allergic to the milk and it took nearly 12 weeks to get the formula straightened out before I finally quit crying. Don't be discouraged. Your baby's crying is not an indication of you not being a good parent. But being a good parent means doing what you need to do -talking to the doctor is the first thing to do- in order to find and correct the problem. Best of luck to you.

Also: DO NOT GIVE ANYTHING TO YOUR BABY IN THE FORM OF HERBAL ANYTHING UNTIL YOU'VE TALKED TO YOUR PEDIATRICIAN!!!!! Some people mean well by giving you this advice but it's horribly irresponsible, especially if you're a first time parent. You COULD go to the pharmacy and ask the pharmacist to help you with some gas drops (Mycolex?) and the dosage. They're over the counter and do work. I've used them but only when my pediatrician suggested it.

Answer 3

like someone else said, knowing how old the baby is would help. i've yet to see a newborn come out of the womb, crying all time due to "colic". if it is a bit older, and does it in spurts roughly the same time everyday, then yes, it could be it.
i would not discount a milk sensitivity/allergy. i would definately look into if that could be an issue.
i would also not discount acid reflux. i would look thouroghly into this. my baby had it, but he also had a milk allergy at the same time. so he was pretty miserable, mostly at feeding time. he was a silent refluxer--meaning he didn't spit up a lot. and he was gaining weight like a champ. the 1st doc i went to tried to pass it off as "colic". i insisted it wasn't and refused to quit taking him back until they found the problem. i have changed formula 3 times (inc breast, even after elim dairy and high allergens he couldn't handle it). he been on 2 different reflux meds, along with a bit of mylanta every now n again. and i've changed bottles 3 times. dr brown's are the best! he is like a whole new baby, and happy all the time now.
before we figured out there was a real problem, i tried giving him gripe water, gas drops, you name it...it helped, sometimes.
just follow your heart and your gut. take the baby in and if you feel there is more of a problem than they are making of it--don't leave until they give the answers you want to hear. you are home all day and see what goes on, they do not. and if yours are like mine...soon as we walk through the dr doors they turn into complete innocents, making a big ol liar out of mom.
you aren't alone. i've been there and it's heartbreaking. hopefully it will all pass soon and you can resume truly enjoying how wonderful it is being a parent. hang in there, and good luck!!

ps, baby i knew cried for 3 months non-stop. and i mean non-stop for 3 months until they realized it was acid reflux. he was treated and it stopped instantly. i think "colic" is totally overused and quite often mis-diagnosed.

Answer 4

Have to ask some questions to answer this I'm afraid...is the baby drawing his legs up towards his stomach when he cries? This indicates that he has cramps and could be either constipated or having difficulty after feeding and getting gas.

Are you breastfeeding, constipation is usually not likely in that case but is very possible if the baby is being formula fed. If breastfeeding try to burb him more thoroughly...walk with his tummy against you for warmth and pat his back as you walk with him...this could take a few minutes up to half an hour...but he could have gas and the upward position plus gentle patting of the back should help him.

If he is formula fed he could be constipated...offer him more water to attempt to help his stool soften. He could also need burping...or he could be allergic to the forumula. In that case see your baby's doctor.

If you are breastfeeding and have eaten any type of food that can cause gas (cabbage, broccoli, brussel sprouts etc) then he could be reacting from those foods. Try to stay away from gaseous foods if breastfeeding.

If he's reacting to his new surroundings which is very possible...take a nice fluffy towel warm it in the dryer for a few minutes...make sure it is not hot (touch the inside of your wrist against the blanket if it feels comfortable to you then it will be okay for the baby)...then lay the baby tummy side down on the towel which you've placed on a bed etc., and pat his back gently...he may be uncomfortable until the warmth begins to settle him but he should be more comfortable after a bit. Always make sure he's not left alone and that there is nothing obstructing him from breathing properly.

There is a thing called Gripe Water which babies seem to love it, I wouldn't be giving this to him at too young an age (month or under) but if over a month...a small amount might assist...this is used if he is having stomach upsets but use sparingly.

No help?...see your pediatrician for further advise...good luck

Answer 5

PArenting is very difficult and unfortunately it gerts harder as we go. However, it is also the most rewawrding thing you will ever do in your life. Take a deep breath. As moms we always blame ourselves. First of all, the baby may be collic, which is gas. Call the pediatrictian and discuss this... there is medicine.

If not, then sometimes babies pick up on stress from us. They also like to be in motion. When the baby cries during the day, and you have done everything you can for him/her, take a car ride with the baby. That can be very soothing for nboth of you. Put some classical music on and relax. You can also try some child tunes to sing along to, wlhcih promotes early language and surprisingly even at a young age is enjoyable to the infant.

At night, rock the baby with also music that you find relaxing. Have a cup of tea or a glass of wine, so that you are relaxred. If you are stressed, give tghe baby to someone else who is clamers. TGhey can pick up very easily stress from us.

Put the baby in teh crib, rub the back, with the music on, put the mobile music on.

During the day, also try to play. There are great videos now for infancts at the instructional stores, such as the Mozart series.

Join a mother's group, a mommmy and me class, take a wlak down the street or in the fmall with the stroller, the diversion will be great for both.

Sometimes, boredom to both of you, causes stresses for both, which makes you both want to cry.

Answer 6

I have no answer for why parenting is so hard but I do know babies only way of communicating that something is wrong is by crying. Make sure he/she is not hungry, bowels moving normally, is dry, warm/cool enough, clothes not too tight or twisted, bed is smooth, and doesn't have gas. Hold him to your chest and GENTLY pat him on the back and then GENTLY rub his tummy starting on his right side and moving to the left side in a circular motion. 5 mins. each procedure. This massage will sometimes help. If none of this stops his crying, take him to a doctor, get a second opinion if necessary. Something is wrong to make him cry all the time. Get help for him and yourself. Mothers sometimes become so frustrated with the crying they shake, harm the child. Don't let this happen.

Answer 7

Make an appointment with her pedatrician. They can tell you what is wrong, if it's normal, etc. Until then, be PATIENT. Please! Do not lose your temper and shake your baby. If needed just leave her in her room for 15 minutes and go get the mail, take out the trash, anything. It'll give you time to get your head straight. Being a parent is hard enough, let alone the fact that your baby loves to cry. Don't be hard on yourself! Get a support group around you with friends/ family/ spouse to support you in this hard time.

Answer 8

My oldest cried 14 hours a day, every day, for almost 4 months. I finally called the nurseline in total desperation, and they insisted, after listening to her, that we take her to the pediatrician. (Yes, we'd mentioned the crying to the pediatrician at her well-baby check-ups, but no one seemed to think it was a big deal.)

She turned out to be, for the most part, a silent refluxer. The barium study clearly showed grade 3-4 reflux. So she got a prescription for Prevacid. We only had to give it to her once a day (unlike Zantac, which required dosing 4x a day). And it was like magic. Days later, we had a whole new baby. And parenting suddenly seemed SO much easier.

Answer 9

I had the same problem. i feel you. it might be colicky or alot of gas. try chamomile tea very diluted to calm the stomach and relax. Try a herbal store they have natural things that are ok for a newborn. Good luck and try to get some rest. it takes about 1 month to get a routine going but then i hear it could be sooner.

Answer 10

Babies cry for a reason. He may be hungry. He may have colic or be in some other kind of pain. He may just want to be held. Babies need to be held and cuddled a lot. You may want to consult your pediatrician. After all, you need rest too! Hang in there. It won't last forever. This child will be the greatest joy in your life!

Answer 11

it is hard work there is no denying that but it will get better, maybe ure baby has colic, it might be a good idea to take her to a doctor for ure own peace of mind. i feel so sorry for you as my first baby was a difficult baby and cried non stop and the lack of sleep and pure exaustion can get the better of you, i hope things work out for you! keep me posted.