Is this child abuse or not ?

Question

My neigbor and I have play dates with our babies while our oldest kids are in school. My daughter is 4 1/2 mths and her son is 6mths. While at the park yesterday she was yelling at him , and she admit to me that she spanks him every night in order for him to sleep. She says she rocks him and if he doesn't fall asleep she hits him. Now , he's only a baby , you don't hit babies. He doesn't know any better. Do you think its child abuse ?

Please no smart remarks, serious ppl only.

In my heart I know it is abuse , he is helpless at this point . Is it my place to contact social services ?

i haven't gotten much response yet but the few here are very good , i am contacting the police right now . i feel for her son . i just didn't know if i should mind my own business or not but she did admit to me so she put herself in this situation

Answer 1

Yes!!!!!!!!!This is absolutely child abuse and a really horrible form of it that will negatively affect this child's ability to attach to others for the rest of its life because it's both physically and psychologically dangerous You can handle this in a couple of ways but I recommend handling it like this: Notify your local DFCS agency and report it. You can do this anonymously. They will investigate it and do whatever they need to do to correct the situation whether it's send her to parenting classes or remove the children. You could talk to your friend directly and tell her in no uncertain terms that what she's doing is abusive and you're going to report it but she will beg you not to or get angry and do who knows what (probably take it out on her children when you aren't around) or simply cry and tell you it was just a few times and she won't do it anymore which will be a promise she can't keep because she has a problem and needs help. Notify DFCS or the police directly and let them handle it.

Answer 2

After I just was so happy for spending the day with MY 6 month old, I can't understand this. Why would they have a baby and treat the poor child like that?! There are books all over, heck they give them to you after having a child. Read for God sake. (Not you but the "parent") I cannot understand either parent doing it but a mother that carries the child for 9 mo. and is suppose to have that instinct to be a "mother" and she does this. Yes you should contact the authorities in your community but most likely they won't do anything unless there is proof! Its how the laws are set up. I hope to God there is proof but even if there is, the child is the one who suffers. I worked the summer at a place(don't know if I can say where legally) but we dealt with the paperwork of cases. There are so many of these cases and they just don't have enough good homes for them to go to. Sometimes they send them to one only to find out its worse. The new "parents" are in it for the money. I would read some of the cases and absolutely cry.(nothing like a grown man crying) It is sad to think anyone who can procreate can have a child! Good luck and after calling watch your back! Never know what the neighbor might pull!

Answer 3

That is definitely child abuse! Report it to Family and children services ASAP! The poor darling is probably frightened to death about bed time and that's why he won't sleep. He has no understanding of what she wants. It isn't unusual for a child that age not to want to sleep at a set bedtime. Stories always work or rather the calming tones and pictures, lying down with him and giving him lovies such as rubbing his head until he sleeps. He is obviously a very insecure boy. Probably even hungry. If she told you that she does that what else is she doing that she isn't telling.
As a mother you should report her. If it were your child you wouldn't hesitate if a child care provider did this. An intervention could be what is necessary to help her and save his life. DO SOMETHING! Don't just sit back and say "oh, woe is...." and do nothing. Lip Service won't help this baby.

Answer 4

Your neighbor needs help right away.

Yelling at a 6 month old is useless because he's a baby and doesn't understand what she wants from him. Spanking him at that age shows that she's going through some dangerous problems with anger and frustration and she's taking them out on an innocent child.

I know it's so hard to consider calling child services on someone you know but you have to imagine how you'll feel if something happens to her child. This woman needs some parenting classes and she needs them now.

Answer 5

YES. Your comments tell me you know it is. You don't ask what you should do, but in case you can't decide, report her immediately. Regular Spanking is NEVER appropriate and a 6 month old should not be spanked period. Hard spanking can cause permanent physical damage. The woman apparently has a mental problem and enjoys spanking her child. She may be having post partum depression and can't cope, either way, get her to seek help. In the mean time, the child needs protected, I hope you can find the courage to take the necessary action to help them both. Ask yourself this question, if you were being treated as this child is being treated, unable to ask for help, and completely unable to defend yourself in any way, would you want someone to take action in your defense, or would you be satisfied if someone was aware of your plight, felt sorry for you, and made no attempt to help. I would hope someone would help me.

Answer 6

I am so glad you are calling the police. I do hope something is done about this. That Mother needs to go to parenting class. My daughter is 11 months and I could never even imagine hitting her, not even a tap on the hand when I say "no" to something. That poor little baby boy. I'm glad you are looking out for him.

Answer 7

YES it most definately is abuse and should be reported to social services and also your friend could be suffering from post natal depression so she needs to get help before she does the baby and herself some seriouse damage or WORSE and as for the rocking it could be harmful as she may well be shaking the baby and this could lead to brain damage or WORSE please get your friend some help and please make sure this baby is not in danger you would never forgive yourself should something happen and you had done nothing act on your instincts without delay

Answer 8

Yes it is.. some people use spanking as a punishment for bad behaviour (not being judgemental, just saying..) But at six months, a baby isn't crying to be bad... he just has no other means to communicate. He needs something that he isn't getting, and hitting him will not change that fact, only make it worse. His little psyche is equating needing something with pain and emotional distance from his mother. She needs help. Call children's services....

Answer 9

Of course that is child abuse. The ONLY time you should spank your child to teach them right from wrong. Babies don't have the logical capacity. And putting the baby to sleep by hitting him! That is the first for me.

Answer 10

Yes and she as well as the baby needs help. Anyone who hits a six month old baby like she is has serious problems. DOn't feel bad at all about getting it for her. Get it before it is too late.