I am - and am wondering how common this is or is not. Do you know why you are - what contributed? Are you willing to fix it? If so, how? Why do you continue to let it be this way? Is it OK with both of you? Do you talk about it?
Just wondering how others are handling this situation if they happen to be in it. Thanks!
2006-09-16 04:22:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From talking to many couples, i would say it is common.
Most common answer is that the women in the relationship do not want or need sex, yet these same women do not seem to comprehend when their husbands start looking elsewhere!
2006-09-16 04:28:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have been asking this question a lot. You are unhappy in your marriage and are looking for answers and aren't finding them. I'm sure you feel lost and disenchanted with your marriage. I don't know if you are 1.looking for an answer you want to hear whether it makes sense or not 2.Just searching and searching for an answer that is not out there, atleast not here on Yahoo Answers.
If you are so unhappy with your marriage and seem to be stuck with no where to turn and no one can give an answer, I would strongly recommend that the both of you together go to a marriage counselor. Bring up points like:
-You feel the passion is gone
-You feel you have tried to stay in shape and you feel that it is not reciprocated by your husband, hopefully you have expressed this to him
-You feel that your husband is not willing to do the things that need to be done to make the marriage last
-You're lost and confused and think that you've beared with him for 15 yrs and feel entitled to leave him
-You no longer feel love for him anymore in the way that you used to
-You have issues accepted him the way he is, although he has gained weight, it is not unsual that someone gain 30 pounds in 15 yrs and many spouses still love them for who they are.
You must also explore what options you have if you do decide to leave him. Are there children involved, you've never mentioned any. Will you be able to survive financially alone? Do you think there is someone out there that will satisfy you? Will you feel regret for leaving him for a problem that may have been resolved or improved if you both just tried? If he does change his ways and gets in shape and looks the best he ever has will you then really be happy or maybe you are using the loss physical attraction as an excuse to just get out? Think hard and try to see what is going inside you and discuss everything with you husband and make efforts to seek counseling.
2006-09-16 04:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married 12 almost 13 years and we only have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a year (if that). This has been going on for at least 6 years. It use to bother me but it doesn't anymore- He was in an accident in 2000 and has has several surgeries and has been on a lot of medications that have killed his drive and ability. But now we are just so use to NOT having sex that the thought of it is kind of weird. We have grown apart. He has become just a roommate to me- nothing more.
2006-09-16 04:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a sexless relationship. My boyfriend was hurt in June, therefore I am afraid that I will hurt him during the act. I do want to move into that again but I am afraid to mention it to him. I don't want him to think that everything is about sex. I will not go look for it elsewhere. He does do other things for me. He will cook and clean the house. He will even take me out just the two of us. I feel very special but there is something missing. He does other things for me so I try not to nag about it very much.
2006-09-16 04:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Amy Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately it is more common that we would probably like to admit. Some reasons are due to outside stresses, no time to busy of a schedule. Some are more intimate -- loss of attraction, etc.
Talking about it, calmly and without accusations, can offer some relief to the situations where stress etc. is involved.
Where there is no longer any attraction or passion, the boat has probably sailed for a healthy sexual relationship to exist.
2006-09-16 04:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, unfortunately, I am in a sexless relationship. We've only been together a year. I don't know what it is. I really want to fix it, but he just says that he doesn't have to be humping me 24/7 to show that he loves me. That's not it at all, though. I mention it, but he doesn't see it as a problem. I'm really frustrated, don't know what to do.
2006-09-16 04:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by duckface 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have sex maybe twice a month. It really dosent bother me because there are so many other things that I have in this relationship to make up for the shortcoming of sex. And when we do have intercourse it's so satisfying for both of us the inbetween time of waiting seems non existent. I have talked to him about it but I know it's because alot of times with me working two jobs and him working a physically demanding one both of us are too tired. What we do to make up for our lack of sex is talk.
Sometimes we are too tired to be physical but can lay in the bed and talk for hours. This can be just as stimulating as sex because it nutures the connection you have with your partner. It also reminds you that your both on the same page, and that everything your trying to accomplish does not go without notice.
If their is no sex or communication then what's the point. For me and the lack of sex, I know how to please myself. But with the lack of communication I cant exactly talk to the walls and feel satisfied. So with that being said I deal with it. BUt that dosent mean that you should. If your lacking in both arenas then something isnt right. Talk to your mate and find out what that something is. That would be my only suggestion. I wish you well
2006-09-16 04:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you can see by your answers, it's common. And e/one works out their own solution. I'm in a sexless marriage. Somedays it's fine.....other days it's not. It definitely is not considered normal in my opinion. Intimacy should be a part of marriage. But unfortunately it's not.
2006-09-16 04:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My man and I have been together for almost 9 years. So far we've had sex twice this year. We are both aware of it, talk about it all the time but it doesn't really bother us, we just help ourselves.
Lives in the way but we have a closest even though we aren't having that much sex.
2006-09-16 04:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.there can be few reasons
1. if your spouse takes medications, some affect the sex drive.
2. it can be a power thing when your spouse feels powerless he or she uses sex as a power on you.
3. something in he or she turns you off.
4. Your spouse can not stand you but does not want to hurt you or just afraid to leave .
5.Holding in deep anger.
6. yours spouse may be addicted to porn.
finally it is not healthy but some stay together and do love each other.
try to get help.
2006-09-16 07:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by zohi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋