When I was 13 I met this guy who stole my heart.
We dated for many years and were even engaged.
We broke up for reasons that I wont get into.
However we remained friends to this day.
He shows up at my house to tell me he got divorced and
misses me in his life.
I am now married with 3 wonderful children.
But whenever he comes around I get butterfly's
in my stomach and get nervouis with him.
He is the only one who could ever see into my heart
just by looking into my eyes and he tells me I am the
only one who can do it with him.
He tells me to this day that we were ment to be together.
I am so confussed.
Does anyone believe in soul mates?
Does he just have such a hold on my heart
that I can't seem to let go?
Someone Please help!
2006-09-16 04:15:55 · 17 answers · asked by baby_thumper_girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I will not leave my husband for this person, just trying to figure out the feelings that I get when Im around him. If they are true or if I let go of something that can never be replaced in my heart.
Said I would not go into why we broke up but I will give some detail to it.
I would not sleep with him and felt to presured at times.
2006-09-16 04:29:06 · update #1
First off, I do not believe in having a soul mate here on earth. I do believe that God has meant for us to couple up, but that there is no such thing as a soul mate here. The definition of a soul mate is the other half of you, which is true and exists but not here, it exists at 'home' or in 'heaven' which I won't get into and you won't understand what I am talking about but someday you will. Now that you think I am crazy read on! LOL : )
Secondly, you have butterflies because you are most likely still attracted to him, and the memories of you and him have come flooding back which gives you an easy, euphoric feeling - one in which was fun and carefree without the pressures of the world, bills, stress, children...etc. Following me.
Thirdly, do you not think that it is very selfish of him to come back into your life when you are married with 3 children and tell you that he has feelings for you and blah, blah, blah? I understand that you may have a hold on him, but I think that because he is in a vulnerable and needy time in his life, it is very possible that you came to his mind. You represent someone who 'was' (hence the past tense 'was') a very loving, understanding figure to him. So it is natural and a no wonder that he would seek you out. However, it would be wrong of you to leave your marriage right now this instant for someone who is not what I would call in their 'right state of mind'. Not yet anyway.
Fourthly, if you have done alot of thinking yourself and feel that you are not in love with your husband, then I would pursue a divorce and continue a relationship with this man - if you feel that is what you want in your heart.
Lastly, do not turn him away right now. Like I said, if he just recently had a divorce he is vulnerable right now and not in the right state of mind, and probably needs a friend or someone to talk to. Keep your distance though because of the feelings that he expressed for you and of your passed relationship your husband would probably not be okay with this. Be honest with your husband about what is going on and also try to be a good friend at the same time to this other man.
You have been given the opporunity that most of us don't get: 1) An old love whom we cared for very much expressing that they want us back in their life and has presented us with a choice 2) A chance to think about your future and make that choice, one in which could affect the rest of your life, for better or worse, and 3) A chance to reflect on what was, and now what is, and to help a friend in need at this time but continuing to move forward on your journey of what is.
Good luck my friend, remember we are all on this journey together! : )
2006-09-16 04:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no such thing as soul mates..... After awhile 2 people MAY BECOME soul mates. Right now you are playing with fire - break off all contact with your old flame and concentrate on getting your head straight. Sorry, he is not thinking straight either - I choose to take the cynical view and suggest that he is just trying to have an affair with you to gratify his own ego and sees you as easy mark.Question - what would be the real outcome of getting back to your old flame?
1) Broken home for your kids?
2) Would you keep them?
3) Would your old flame accept 3 step kids?
4) What if he wouldn't accept them?
5) What your old flame want 2-3 kids of his own with you?
6) Would your ex-husband keep the kids?
2006-09-16 04:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't be trying to break up your marriage. What about the man you took your vows with? Is he such a bad person that you would want to rip his heart out? Would this not tear your children up to break up their stable life? Yeah, kids are resilient and they bounce back, but could you really forgive yourself for hurting your husband and your children and causing that pain? God puts us each in a place that He wants us to be. Only He knows His true plan. Pray before you make any decisions about this. Your old friend is lonely right now and because of your long past, he has turned to you for comfort. But think about all you have before you throw it away.
2006-09-16 04:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only feel that you want the old days to come back to you.but your are a married woman now with 3 wonderful children as you say so don't ruin your life because of some childhood thing that have gone since ages and you have kids and a husband so trust me they won't forgive you if you ruined their life thinking that it is the way of happiness.just end this right now and love your husband and don't ever think about it again or tell any body.So i hope you find my words helpful for you
2006-09-16 04:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by khaled 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The world is full of people who believe in soul mates...I just don't happen to be one of them. Be happy with what you have or take steps to change your situation if you think you can do better. The concept of soul mates is yet another load of crap forced down our throats to make us feel bad that our real relationships don't live up to the unrealistic fantasy presented in popular culture.
2006-09-16 04:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your situation is based more on your feelings for him. Those thoughts are blinding your judgement. I do believe in soul mates however, please think of your children befor running away with him. Perhaps your previous relationship with him is the cause of your "butterflies". I have it sometimes too but you should remember that your family is something difinitive unlike your soul mate.
2006-09-16 04:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by tush_dante 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that you let the love of your life go.. if your husband doesnt give butterflies like that then i guess you already know the answer to this question....Go with your heart.
2006-09-16 04:24:50 · answer #7 · answered by Pepperpaige 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know the feeling meet up with my soul mate after years apart got butterflies even got a kiss and hug married couldnt go anywhere its hard when you have family will always regret it but you cant hurt your family im hoping when im old and grey he will be around
2006-09-16 04:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by liz r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you happily married? If so, forget the ex. Dont ruin your marriage over "butterflies". I think there might be some "fantasy" coming into play with the ex?? Good luck to you
2006-09-16 04:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question with "I am now married with 3 wonderful children".
You swore a marriage vow with your husband. Do not dishonor it and him by allowing yourself to be sidetracked by this guy who broke up with you, broke up with his wife, and is now threatening to break up your marriage. He's nothing but trouble.
2006-09-16 04:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by My Evil Twin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋