I can either stay in a bad job in a town I hate where my husband and I can only afford to live with his dad and be miserable here, or I can pack up and leave and go back to sleep in my parents living room and have a shot at a dream job. Trouble is I don't know what will make me happier.
My husband has his faults but I love him and would miss him, but I know being unhappy here is driving a wedge between us. He hates it here too but it seems to hard to cut the umbilical cord and get him to leave. I feel split in half. I have a shot at doing something I gave up a few years ago that I loved, something that I can't really pursue unless I live in a larger city, not port saint lucie florida (so. florida is a big, wet, hot, flat stink hole thats full of overpriced land and rich elderly yankees...do not move to florida unless you are rich enough to enjoy it ) I miss having family and friends around and feel like I need to just get out of here
2006-09-16 03:50:45 · 27 answers · asked by healinghands1979 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2006-09-16 03:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by elclone 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have already found the answer you are looking for, it's in the last sentence of your question. Leave and go pursue your dream. I'm not normally one to advocate breaking up a marriage, but you are clearly unhappy in your present situation. What exactly does your husband add to your life and what does he contribute to your marriage? If you don't leave you will never know if your chance at this dream job would have worked out. You will always wonder and you will continuously resent your husband for having held you back from a shot at it. Your husband is being selfish and is only thinking about himself. He needs to grow up, leave his comfort zone, be a man, and start being supportive of you. Why should you stay there and let him drag you down with him? If he wants to stay there and continue to live with Daddy, then so be it. Don't let him stop you from pursuing your dream. By leaving and pursuing your dream, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Go for it! Best of luck to you.
2006-09-16 04:26:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have your husband go with you to visit the city where you would like to move to. Research jobs for him prior to the visit and maybe set up some interviews while you are there . If he is able to find a job he enjoys in the same city - the move will seem like a better idea to him. It is possible he is afraid you will move on without him or that if you both move there you will be "supporting" him. This really bothers some men. He needs to feel like an equal partner in the relationship.
2006-09-16 04:05:43 · answer #3 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I agree with you about Florida. I live in the Lakeland, Polk County area. It sounds like you need to have a serious heart to heart talk with your husband and give him a choice, either hes with you or he can stay here without you. Explain to him whta youve said above and tell him you dont belong here. Florida has an unique weather pattern here, basically nothing changes so peoples lives begin to follow a similar pattern, nothing changes, unlike the seasons up north, you always have something different around the corner to look forward to. So one either loves Florida or hates Florida with no in between and Florida is not for everyone. If you hate it here youll soon hate everything around you, and thats the point where one has to get out before you cant, but the choice is yours and youve got to do what you got to do. Good luck. By the way I grew up in Albuquerque, N.Mex.
2006-09-16 04:04:24 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Human never get satisfied with what they have.
In this case, you should discuss openly with your husband and negotiations should be carried out. A marriage has good and bad. You can't hope to get good things only. Bad things will inevitably come into your life. It's also no meaning of a married couple if they stay apart. Negotiate and get mutual understanding.
2006-09-16 04:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by AAA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you do this without threatening your husband. Can you talk to him, without criticizing your current lifestyle? Maybe tell him that you need to pursue your career and that you would like to have the opportunity to do so, and that you know that your relationship would only benefit from the move. If he doesn't want to go right away, maybe he will follow, once he can see, that there is life away from hometown and parents.
2006-09-16 03:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by kayboff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already gave your word to stick with your husband through the best times and the worst times.
There will always be extremely difficult times in any kind of relationship. Whether you stick together through them, or split at the first sign of trouble is a very accurate display of your personal character and your commitment to each other.
Nicholas - Admin
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2006-09-16 03:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he know how you feel? if he does then you have to make a choice to stay and live with the choice you have made or like you said pick up and go. You are the one who has to make this choice cause he is not. He can stay or go which ever he chooses but do what you want in work is what you need to do. There are better things in life than to stay and be un-happy.
I vote to Move
2006-09-16 03:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i take it that if you went back to your parent's house it would be alone? Your husband may be feeling less of a man because of the financial situation as well. Have you talked to him? I mean, really talked to him about your feelings and what this move, although rough in the beginning, could mean for both of you later on if you stick it out? You might try prayer, too. I have found for myself that it really works.
2006-09-16 03:55:07 · answer #9 · answered by Christine H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have any children the only persons happiness you should be thinking about is yours because as cleiche as it sounds you can't make someone else happy if your not happy. Think about what would happen if you two ended up divorced later in life and it was to late for you to do what you wanted to do you would be miserable and even if you stay together you may end up hating him for you unhappiness.
2006-09-16 04:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey read what you wrote...thats a good enough reason to leave your mesierable and your life is going nowhere right now.And it can if you just move back home,regardless how you feel about your husband he shouldnt make you feel like you are he needs to cut the strings to momma and daddy and grow up and id tell him that and id say im going home and when you grow up ill be there.And if i was you id worry about you and your future cause clearly he isnt.Good luck and god bless
2006-09-16 03:57:05 · answer #11 · answered by blondie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋