My husband says he won't leave b/c I "won't let him". I would not have let him lead this bachlor life he has been living the last 5 months either if he had asked but it didn't stop him. So how in the heck am I stopping him from leaving now?
He stays here at our house about 3 nights a week and hardly ever on the weekends but he has yet to completely move out or go file any paper work for the divorce he says he wants.
I have told him this is his decision and I won't fight him on it but he has to be the one to do it. He tells me he loves me still but he just got married to young and needs to "sow his wild oats" and of course he can't do that and be married because he "still has a conscience" and can't be around me knowing what he is doing o me.
Just super confused here, how is me waiting on him to do what he says he is going to, not letting him go?
Oh also our house burnt down in March and I am kinda waiting on him to get the new one built so me and my girls will have somewhere to go.
2006-09-16 03:46:34 · 13 answers · asked by SpecialK 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can definitely sympathize.
You should really get him to leave, but I don't know what to tell you. I'm in a similar, yet different situation. I always seem to be waiting for something, and then we become happy for a while and then things get bad again.
I have an idea.
Next time your husband goes out, preferably on the weekend so he will be away longer...
change the locks!
2006-09-16 03:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by lorgurus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds to me like he wants the life of both a married man and a bachelor as well.
If you think that he is cheating or not being true to you, why are you putting up with it?
You can give him the ultimatum and tell him to either grow up and be home or to move out and file paper work.
IF he isn't going to file because you are allowing this to happen then you need to file for him.
I am assuming that if your house burnt down in March, you got an insurance settlement to rebuild or buy a new home.
I say go get a new home or have one built the way you want it, leave him out of it and then once its built file or file prior and split the $ and use it as a down payment for a new home for you and your children.
It seems as though he is waiting for you to put your foot down and until you do so hes going to keep walking all over you.
I wish you luck and hope for the best for you!
2006-09-16 03:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by baby_thumper_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you waiting for - Jeez girl, file for divorce and make your man happy. What your hubby is doing is called "crazy making" He is trying to make you file first so he can rationalize in his own head that you are the guilty party etc. -maybe he thinks it will get him out of child support - I don't know. BTW he doesn't really love you, but you are smart enough to see that. Your husband is a real turd in my opinion. He has a choice to make: his marriage and family or "sowing wild oats" Up or down, yes no. Tell him to make a decision NOW.
2006-09-16 04:14:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rely on other people.. If there is no real trust in a relationship it will eventually fall apart.. take control of your own life, your childrens lives and your dignity. You don't derseve to be mistreated, your husband had a responsibility to you and your family and by the sounds of it he's not doing the right thing. Don't blame yourself but stop being a doormat and be strong enough to see the reality and stand up for what the happiness you deserve.
2006-09-16 03:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by _tombraider_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YEOUCH! What was the cause of the fire? Arson? Sounds like a nice guy who just does not have the energy of activation or sufficient motivation to leave.
What concerns me is the example you are setting for your daughters. The only marriage they will see growing up is this dysfunctional one where you are setting yourself up to be a victim. I can almost guarantee you that in years to come, you will see them select adult situations that recapitulate what you are doing now.
You desperately need some personal/family counselling to get you through this, and to do the best of all possible things for your daughters. There is some tone of resignation/depression/lack of energy of motivation in your letter.
2006-09-16 04:14:30 · answer #5 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a bastard! Girl you need him out of your life! He is very selfish and needs to grow up. If you can find somewhere to go until he gets the house built then leave him! You should not let him do that to you honey!
2006-09-16 03:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by day dreamin baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are giving him everything he wants. Hes doing his playing around and still having you do his laundry and take care of him.
File yourself and stop waiting for him to do it. Why would he if hes getting everything he wants right now??
2006-09-16 03:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait for the house to get built move in
then if he goes out and doesnt come back
file a missing person report
file abandonment get the house for your girls
and kick his butt to the curb
OBVIOUSLY YOU DONT MIND HIM USING YOU OR LETTING HIM WHORE AROUND OR SOWING HIS OATS
AND GOD KNOW WHAT HE CAN GET AND OR GIVE YOU
DONT YOU WANT TO BE AROUND FOR YOUR KIDS
DO ALL THAT AND DIVORCE HIS ***
ALSO YOUR HOUSE BURNT DOWN YOU NEED TO GO TO THE RED CROSS AND GET HELP
HE IS HAVING HIS CAKE AND EATING TOO
AND GUESS WHAT HE ISNT GIVING YOU A SLICE
2006-09-16 04:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by Larelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
File for the divorce yourself. It'll either wake him up from his game or he'll sign the papers. Either way, it'll show him you want him to go.
2006-09-16 04:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by SexxyPrincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey,i undstand ur confusion.i reckon he is selfish here.well,i wudnt deem it right to comment on him anymore.or i shudnt critisize ur relationship.wisest n smartest thing to do wud be to get the shelter first.wud u get it on divorce?or wud it be workable to behave nicely wid him n get ur work done?do u realy wanna continue wid dis man?if not,then put on sme drama,watch sme desparate housewives n get what u want.dnt fight wid him.men r intrigued by our calm n coolness at tensed moments.chase his curiosity n dnt EVER disclose ur plans.if he has to leave,let him be HIS business.chill.:)
2006-09-16 03:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by jumblemumble 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋