What do you do when ex-wife uses kids to put ex husband on guilt trips?

Question

My husband's ex wife constantly puts him on guilt trips claiming he never helps with school clothes and braces or anything like that. He pays her child support which is almost half of his checks and he should. But it's never enough for her. Here's the delema. She married a man with 6 figure salary, huge house, built in pool, cruise line travel each year, new car, etc. The kids only seem to wear the hottest fashion that costs hi $$. I know because she waved a receipt in front of my husband with a nasty note that stated her husband is tired of raising HIS kids. He's tried to pay what he can AFTER childsupport for clothing and is now even paying for the braces on 2 daughters at the same time. We live in a tiny little house on a city lot barely able to rub 2 pennies together. What do you make of this and what are your suggestions? Is she being selfish or am I?

The guilt comes from comments like you don't care about your kids. I have to pay for everything. My husband is tired of supporting your kids.

Answer 1

Tell your husband, the thing that he is responsible for is his child support, he can if he must pay 1/2 for the braces, why can't she contribute to 1/2 of it since she has so much money. the child support is for clothing, and if she can't buy out of it what you send, it is her problem, tell your husband do not feel guilty, he is doing the best he could, and that he has to live also, if she wants to keep up with the jones, that is her business. Also tell him to tell her, I cannot afford all of the things that you want, and I am doing the best that I can, and leave it at that, he does not have to have a lot of conversation with her, because she is materialistic. I wish all the best for you both, because I am sure this is very stressful for the both of you. take a step back, and try to live for each other, because that household you have no control over. she is not hurting no one but her kids.

Answer 2

I completely understand. I don't really have any advice. However just be supportive of your husband. I would remind her child support is to sustain a healthy life for their children not buy the hottest trends. As for her new husband he took on the responsibility of a family when he married her. He should have thought about that before "I do" . I would just ignore that completely. If she is spending the child support on the hottest trends as you say, maybe remind her that those things are not necessary but braces are. Stop spending the money on unnecessary things. I think people often confuse child support for a paycheck.

Answer 3

Your not being selfish I go through the same thing on a daily basis.My fiancees ex even call his mom to get money because she says she can't do it on her own. He pays more than enough in child support plus we buy his girls things when they need them.Some women forget that they have to take on some of the finical part also. Good luck with the whole situation its a battle.

Answer 4

she sounds like she is self fish and as far as her new husband being tired of taken care of the kids'well i guess he should of thought of that before getting married you guys can always go back to court and try to get the cs reduced , sounds like you are just trying to look out for your husbands best interest good for you , just keep doin what you can and be there for him, good luck and sorry you have to go through that mess

Answer 5

I would go to the family court and file harassment charges against her. she is probably bad mouthing him to the kids,it is not like he is not contributing to them or something!!!The court has stated what he should pay,if he is paying anything else he should definately keep the receipts and NEVER NEVER!!! give her cash!!!!Many of my male friends have been hosed because they did not have anything to show the court.