A fellow yahoo answerer (kay boff) wrote "peaple say "You never know someone until you Marry them" I say, " You never know someone until you Divorce them."
That is completely true as far as my divorce. Any thoughts on this for you or your situation?? How many people see true colors flying during the divorce??
2006-09-16 02:51:45 · 14 answers · asked by galbee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Suze Orman (the famous financial advisor) once said she believes in prenup agreements - not for asset protection, but because couples should decide how things will be if the marriage ends while they are in love and caring for each other, not at the attorney's office during the divorce.
2006-09-16 03:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You actually get to see this person in the best of both worlds. Marriage contains love and as we all know love is blind til the honeymoon is over, but this is supposed to be a pleasant time of both lives so we expect the best of the person. But in a divorce, what a person becomes under the worst time is to be seen. But then what are we expecting? This person is about to have their world shattered, so do we expect this person to be at their best? We can expect it but chances are we arent going to get the same person we married in the first place. People somehow just dont get excited over divorce as they do weddings, so obviousily expect the worst and what the "worst" is, youll find out real quick. Everybody is different and theres always e xceptions to every rule. Sorry about your divorce and good luck
2006-09-16 10:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few years ago I was in the process of getting a divorce and OMG all of the things that I "thought" he would never do he DID and then some. My reasons for not going thru with it are long and detailed so I won't bore you but needless to say I got a lesson that I will never forget and should the need to go thru with the divorce again ...I am well prepared for and he KNOWS IT!
2006-09-16 10:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AMEN!!l..LOL.. that is so true whether it be a divorce or a simple break up peoples true ugly colors really do come out..which can be very scary..I have had my share bad experiences esp with an ex who tried to harm me and this person was not the type to hurt a fly
2006-09-16 09:56:24 · answer #4 · answered by chaoswantsangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think what we see in someone when we divorce them is their true colors. Divorce is a stressful and painful thing.......and under extreme conditions, people do extreme things. I saw my husband do insane, crazy things. And now that we are divorced, he has changed into someone who has the same bad qualities I couldn't live with only worse. I, myself, have tried to take MY bad qualities, learn from them and change them so I dont' bring them into a new relationship. You have to transform yourself after divorce, only I think most people don't. They spend their time blaming their spouse on everything, when in the end, it takes two to make a marriage, and two to kill it.
Perhaps we see a more magnified version of our partners in divorce? I'm not sure. But again, I dont' think it's fair to judge people under extreme circumstances, such as divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc.
2006-09-16 10:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BINGO! I think we have a winner.
I have been married for almost 4 years, no children, second marriage for both of us. When I mentioned divorce, she has decided that she wants spousal support, all the furniture (she had non when I met her), me to pay her med insurance for a period of 3 years and for her attorney. That was just for starters.
She is able bodied and could support herself if she chose to.
I got no problem paying for the divorce.
2006-09-16 10:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by rikv77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true people show their true colors in a fight! The question is did you not know the person at all? Did you not know what they were capable of? Then the marriage was doomed from the start-your fault for not knowing who you were marrying!
2006-09-16 10:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you got it right there! My ex was very mild mannered and easily pushed around while we were together. The moment we separated, his family and friends started running their mouths about me and all of their suspicions and before I knew it, he became a monster. Wow! Was I ever surprised!! His entire demeanor was different and even now he is much more verbal about his thoughts and feelings. Maybe he just needed to find his inner strength!!
2006-09-16 10:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by ncmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really believe that you don't know someone till you get divorced. If I knew what I know about my ex-husband I would've never married him.
2006-09-16 10:32:18 · answer #9 · answered by shortcakes_maple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree with you
my x is the night mare from hell
ruthless
and the funny thing he has cussed, threatened, vandalized and tried to just destroyed me after i decided he wasnt in the picture of my future because of his drug problem and escort calling activities
who would of known until he was like this until the end
i hear ya
2006-09-16 11:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Larelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋