we maintained joint accounts here back home he works in a ship but I never realize that he will left large sum abroad without my knowledge, he said when I confront him that it is for emergency. How can it be since we cannot withdraw it here in our country? I felt betrayed...
2006-09-16 02:43:19 · 21 answers · asked by meranel a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most likely it is through a bank that he has acess to onboard ship
2006-09-16 02:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several possible answers for this!
1.Depending on how much is in the acount: maybe that is his way of having a prenup without you knowing about the $$$$. But if it is only a small amount of money, then its no big deal because when he is traveling abroad on his job, he might need a way to get banking services; which would be by keeping a foreign account for when he travels.
2.He may be leading a dual life: He may have a wife and family in the foreign country as well as having a life with you in the states. If he travels back and forth often, this might make it convient for him to pull off. Spending time in between with each family as he travels.
3. He could be into drug trafficing which is where he gets the extra money. Working on a ship possibly does not pay that high of a salary?
.
2006-09-16 10:04:55 · answer #2 · answered by Vickie J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His excuse isn't plausible. How could the money be of use to you in an emergency when you didn't know about the account? If he had died, you'd probably never know about the money, and there's no way for you to withdraw the $$. There is no legitimate reason for him to have large sums of money abroad without your knowledge. There's more to this than he's telling.
Give him a chance to fix it, maybe it was just an error in judgement.
2006-09-16 09:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a smart ...smart...smart man. Every responsible adult should have an emergency account. And given the financial abilities of most women... it's probably a good idea to maintain said account separately from the family funds so it can not be squandered on shoes, purses and nail salon treatments. A family should always be prepared for financial emergencies. It is also a good idea for a gentleman to always be financially prepared for the inevitable "crazy wife" syndrome. Nearly every women at some point in a marriage becomes dissatisfied for her own selfish reasons and tries to screw you out of your money whilst screwing her new boyfriend.
2006-09-16 09:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by lowrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for you to do now is to TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS. Honesty has always been the best policy ever, even though there are people who say that too much honesty is not a good thing. But be yourself, be open, let your heart AND reason talk together. Tell him you feel betrayed, but do it in a NICE way. You know, it is not what we say, but how we say it. From there, come back to us if you need any more help - lol.
If you don't come back, ah, maybe you guys solved your problem or perhaps you killed him...hahaha.
Sorry, could not help it.
Big hug and good luck.
One thing: guys sometimes are insecure about money. Maybe he did not do that to hurt you. He just wanted to grant a safe future for the family. Remember: he works in a ship, this might sound natural to him. Don't be too hard on him before he tells you ALL, ok?
2006-09-16 09:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by Ms.Cook 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that was married and his wife had a secret savings account also. But when she decided to tell him about it, he was so happy and surprised and with the money they were able to get a house. Under the circumstances that you found out, you probably feel betrayed but he may have just been saving before you were together and it's for a rainy day. Having extra money can't hurt your situation if you trust him.
2006-09-16 09:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave the guy alone and let him plan for the future.
If you are anything like my wife, you probably have no financial sense at all and spend money as soon as you touch it.
My wife for example i gave her $6000 a couple of months ago and shes frittered it all away, I wanted her to put it in a savings account for a rainy day or for when our son might need it, but shes blown it like an idiot. For this reason I HAVE to have separate accounts and i HAVE to hide money from her because she is naive and irresponsible. Us guys have to make plans for future finacial security of ourselves and our kids, and if the wife cannot be trusted then accounts and money have to be hidden, no apologies for that at all.
2006-09-16 09:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel betrayed since he was not honest with you. It would make me wonder what else he is hiding.
If the money is for emergencies, and he had died, how would you have gotten the money?
Talk with him about this, let him know how you feel. This is an important issue....but be sure to watch your tone of voice...good luck.
2006-09-16 09:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by shortfrog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what. There is a rumour. A man should not give all his money to his wife. Because they want them to control theirself. He may not be betraying. You just need to keep an eye on him. But never show suspicious.
It's quite hard to judge by just seeing an another account in other country. Coz I also like to do that. I want to open multiple account to hide from my friends. You know what, they like to borrow money from me.
2006-09-16 11:11:43 · answer #9 · answered by AAA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That makes sense... What if something happened to him while he was on ship and couldn't get to any money from home... Don't read into something that is not there... You have to have trust in him....Have you not ever put back a few dollars for something you wanted with out ever telling him ?
2006-09-16 09:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by levita45 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋