I am a single mom of an almost three year old daughter her father and i are no longer together he only recently started paying child support.But i have a a steady boyfriend whom i am engaged too who wants to try for a baby but i dont think i am ready but am going along with it .How can i tell him i am not ready to get pregnant again before marriage?I am scared that after 2 weeks of him trying i might already be i missed my period this week.I really want to make him happy.
2006-09-16 02:39:16 · 7 answers · asked by claire d 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I am only 20 and feel another child right now would be wrong i am also in college and want to finish in next year or so.
2006-09-16 02:44:59 · update #1
I also would love to travel afterward from school and have a career.
2006-09-16 02:51:01 · update #2
You can't bring a baby into this world and love it the way it deserves if both parents aren't ready. Tell him that way. My husband wanted another one right after we miscarried in Jan. but I wasn't ready and it was hard to tell him, we went through a really rough patch there for a while, but things are great now and we're not expecting again. You have to be honest with him, if not you might grow to resent him in the end. I wish you the best of luck! It's a hard choice to make, but he can't be happy and respect your wishes, you might want to talk to him about that too.
2006-09-16 02:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just sit and be absolutley honest about the whole situation. It's not even the case of being out of wedlock for you. Even if the two of you were married, are you both ready to be able to support 2 adults (one in school) and 2 children? It is sad to say that a marriage certificate in today's society isn't a promise to stay anymore either. A man or a woman for that matter can leave when they feel like it. A child is not a mistake by any means, I've been raising my son alone for 18 years so I can empathize with you on your decision. But to have a planned pregnancy when you are questioning your ability to provide or your accomplishments as far as finishing school that would be a mistake.
You are 20 years old with a child almost 3. Your sole priority at this time is being able to raise and support your child. If something (God forbid) were to happen between you two and you have another child could you support the two babies on your own? Ask yourself and him what are his reasons for wanting a child so soon and why can't he wait.
If he is serious about loving you and wanting to be with you and having more children he will respect the fact that you want to wait and make sure that you both are financially (at least to an extent) and mentally ready to raise a family.
It sucks to think that if you say not right now you will be alone or that he will leave but if he does that to you then what were his real intentions to begin with.
You already have one child as a single mother. Do for you and your child first... make sure you can take care of you and your's.
One more thing, a child isn't easy to raise and money isn't easy to come by without a college degree. Trust me I know. Do what you feel is best for you and your child then worry about making a man (or a woman) happy.
Good Luck to you.
2006-09-16 10:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by mommymanic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not already just talk to him and explain that you do want a baby with him but just not right now. Tell him about finishing school and you two becoming more stable before you get pregnant. If he truly loves you he will understand.
2006-09-16 09:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't feel comfortable having the child out of wedlock. Engaged is not married. Until you guys file the marriage certificate, he could walk out at any time and the burden of proof could be on you as to who the father of your child is.
2006-09-16 09:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good thing not to have another baby until you are married. Your bf should not be coercing you to get pregnant. Engaged is not married, he could walk away at any moment.
Keep your legs together.
2006-09-16 09:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by WendyD1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand up for yourself, doing things in life to make others happy is not what life is all about. you need to enjoy life for yourself, and do what makes you happy. Dont let him force you to have another baby too early, just do what feels right.
2006-09-16 10:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by boscarelli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nonsense..
Tell b/f NO...
Find a more mature b/f
2006-09-16 09:47:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋