my boyfriend and I was working and living together for about 1 year.
we broke up because he kissed another woman in front of me and I confronted him we got into a big fight because his excuse was at the time that was just who he was and he was not going to change,1 week later my boss at work who's a female and lots of coworkers told me it was for the best that I left him because he was caught sending inappropriate sexual e-mail back and forth and was asked to stop but both refused too. he denies it all. its been 4 month since then and I do love him but I have no truth and just don’t know what to believe, he says he loves me and there no other woman.
After all this happened we decided to get back together but I gave him some rules to abide by with no exceptions. There for he believes since I gave him there rules the everything is my way or no way. I believe the rules I gave him are simple rules in a relationship.
1. No cheating.
2. No flirting with others.
2. Respect me.
3. Treat me as an adult not a child.
4. When there a problem we discuss it.
5. No going to bars with out each other especially since that were he kissed the other woman.
Please help am I wrong?
2006-09-16 02:32:40 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am sorry, but most good men already know those rules and don't need them spelled out. Maybe you should find one of them.
2006-09-16 02:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by just browsin 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you were absolutely right to do as you did. Sometimes people forget the feelings of their mates, or fail to appreciate how seemingly trivial things can upset a lady. If this is truly your man, guard him well and try hard to make sure his every fantasy is realized (if you can).
At the same time, do not follow him, sneak around behind him, or call him on each and every thing that looks suspicious. If you do, he will judge you to be a paranoid crazy and walk away from you in favor of people more relaxed. You must be an adult also.
2006-09-16 09:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by zahbudar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've don't everything there is to do. Good for you. DO NOT BACK DOWN> A real boyfriend would never have to be TOLD those things, they are automatic. Don't make the huge timewasting mistake of thinking that things will be different this time. He will only get better at hiding. you should read the book "he's just not that into you", it describes him perfectly. You must know that there are better people out there for you. Find one. Kick this loser to the curb!
2006-09-16 09:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by Coco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't set a list of rules with someone you love. You either trust him or you don't. If there is no trust there is no future between the two of you. As far as who to believe, I've been there before and chances are, you will never know. But seriously, if you have forgiven him for his past then it needs to be dropped and not brought up again. If he cheats again, you WILL find out because everything comes into the light at one point or another. Then my motto is: "First time shame on you, second time shame on me"
Good Luck!
2006-09-16 09:38:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all, you should have to give him rules like that no matter how long in a relationship you are. those are common sense rules anyone should act on their own if their serious. second, your not doing the wrong thing thinking the way you do. pretty much all people would do the same and feel the same as you do given that situation. I dont think it will work out but best of luck.
2006-09-16 09:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Al Bundy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Assuming that by your name, you are 27 yrs. old, you should be smart enough to figure this out. But, since you asked. You told us that not once, but twice, your "boy"friend has been less than true to your relationship. How many more times are you going to let this happen? Giving him your "rules" isn't going to change anything. Remember the saying "Rules are meant to be broken"?
Don't worry, you will find someone who will be honest and faithful to you and only you, just be patient.
2006-09-16 09:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by Steve R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying, however if he kissed another woman in front of you and the excuse he used was that's who I am then is he really worth it. What happens when he is caught in the act of having sex with another woman. What will be his excuse it slipped in.
2006-09-16 09:40:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sad the he keeps on denying things when its really obvious on the first place... u told us that u have set some rules but is your man really willing to follow it? because it seems like he is not that sorry for what he did.
u love him yes, but is it all worth it? u have to love ur self too.. u guys are still not married... i know its hard but i think it will happen again.. u will just get hurt again :( so hold on to ur seatbelt because it will be a ride of ur life..
2006-09-16 09:39:51 · answer #8 · answered by addiee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Harlow..... do u really believe he will really follow everything without breaking any of the rules one day?
Caught in similar situation as u.... Confused......
Follow ur heart dats all i can say...... outsiders will definately ask u to leave him n move on.... but .........
2006-09-16 09:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by huRts^SuCks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but rules are not going to change anything.. if he's an unfaithful person, he's not going to follow your rules.. the only thing rules are going to do is make him more careful not to get caught..
2006-09-16 09:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋